Ugh, how horribly awkward... What am I supposed to say in situations like this?

[Indestructible]

This topic isn't actually about dating or relationships per se, but rather, about talking to other people about it. Just to clarify, I'm a 22 year old guy that's never been on a date, had a girlfriend, or otherwise been "romantically involved" with a girl in any way shape or form.

Normally, no one ever talks to me about this stuff, so I never have to know what to say, but out of the blue, one of my guy friends struck up a conversation with me about it today, and I was totally taken aback by it. He started off just asking me if I had a girlfriend, and when I said no, he just kinda rattled off question after question, wondering if I was at least trying to get with girls, or if I had dated in the past, what my "type" was, even asking if I was gay because of my dodgy responses (I said no, but I get the feeling he didn't quite believe me...).

I just felt like an idiot, because I didn't know what to say at all to him. I didn't want to admit that I've never ever been involved with any girls at all, but I struggled to answer his questions, and it was just such a weird, awkward conversation.

If you must know my real situation, well, the thing is, I suffer from a severe lack of self-confidence, and I'm sure I probably have some degree of clinical depression, so I don't date (or even pursue girls) simply because I don't feel like I'm good enough, nor do I believe there's a girl out there for me. But I don't want to tell people that, as that just sounds too weird to tell someone.

So, my question is, what exactly do I do if this situation ever occurs again? I get the feeling this will end up being a reoccurring discussion point with him (and possibly others) from now on, given how I acted today, so I'd like to be more prepared in the future.

[Ric]

If he is a friend you trust, maybe try being honest and maybe he will try to help you out.
If he is more of a buddy type of friend, someone you just hang out with every now and then, you can simply say you don't feel like talking about it.

[Indestructible]

If he is more of a buddy type of friend, someone you just hang out with every now and then, you can simply say you don't feel like talking about it.

Well, that's what I was kinda trying to do, but he just kept prying. It was a bit peculiar to him, and he seemed almost fascinated with it.

[Ric]

Well, that's what I was kinda trying to do, but he just kept prying. It was a bit peculiar to him, and he seemed almost fascinated with it.

Trying to do and doing are two different things. Sounds like you need more confidence at every level, not just asking girls out.

His fascination can be because of different reasons. Perhaps he wants to help out, perhaps he just tried to make smalltalk, perhaps he just considers it weird that you haven't dated yet, perhaps he is even gay and trying to find out if you are as well. Could be something entirely else, too. Haven't a clue.

Just be a bit more clear when you say you don't feel like talking about it.

[Evo1114]

I'd guess he was trying to help you out. Trying to get you thinking about it, talking about it. Maybe he wants to set you up with somebody? If he's a close friend of yours, maybe he is doing this to give you some self-confidence in a round-about non-weird way or maybe nudging you to get out there and give it a whirl. Nobody is not good enough to find a girl. If you aren't interested in dating, that's fine, but don't do it just because you don't think you can!

[Indestructible]

Maybe, I dunno, it didn't really feel like he was trying to "help me" or anything like that. Prior to him asking me about it, he had just gotten some girl's number, and was bragging to me about how easily he's been getting girls lately. Then he asked me about my situation, and it just completely threw me off, and the deeper he pried, the stranger it all seemed to him.

[HeartIsAching]

Well, that's what I was kinda trying to do, but he just kept prying. It was a bit peculiar to him, and he seemed almost fascinated with it.

You didn't try very hard to do that. You kept talking... a blunt "I don't want to talk about it." works wonders.

Once in awhile you have to pull out "It's none of your business."

[smackie9]

Just tell him to stop....now was it that hard? You suffer from social anxiety.....you avoid situations for fear of rejection. Seek out a good therapist before you get much older....the older you get the tougher it will be for you.

[Incognito]

The social anxiety is only a symptom of the depression. Trust me I know all about that. As far as your friend goes Indestructible, it sounds like he was expecting to get a specific answer and continued to ask more questions when he didn't get that answer. Everyone else already told you what to say next time, so there is no need for me to reiterate.

[Indestructible]

Well, alright. I just figured that if I was too insistent about not wanting to talk about it, it'd make me look like I was hiding something or embarrassed about something. Plus, I didn't want to seem angry or upset about the subject. I guess I was just hoping there were other ways I wasn't thinking of to sidestep that conversation besides "I don't want to talk about it".