She's not over her ex T.T

[Rabbitt]

Hey guys,

I'll write this as short as possible.
I've known this girl for years but never really took interest now a while ago she had a BF for like a month or 1.5 month max. I've seen the guy he's shorter but pretty muscular.

Now this girl was all over me while she was with him now they broke up like 2-3 weeks ago and she came over to my place like last week and we fooled around and I thought we where gonna start dating.

I had a convo with her on MSN and I could notice she was depressed and I was also sure that it was because of the guy. She wants to get back together with him I know that for sure. But he ended their relationship abruptly saying he had no mutual feelings for her and that he wants to stay friends with her.

I tried to cheer her up and tell her don't think too much about it and she's like: i'll most likely think about it anyway, i've also told her that we aint married and she can always come and talk to me.

I'm kind of stuck in what to do with her, I hooked up with her, she told her family all about me (I know this because I met her mother and she was like ohhh so you are this and that!) I want to give her space but I dont want to lose my shot here o.o.

Most important I know a great deal about her EX, he's a douchebag and an asshole he completely ignored her after coming back from his holiday and kinda shoo'd her away (i was there I saw it) during a festival. and she was like WTF. Now i'm like WTF? how can she be in love with someone she barely spent time with and he had no respect towards her.


I'm no good when it comes to relationships because i've only had short ones really, I know I have slight fear of commitment which has held me back at times but this time I want to do things differently.

OH btw, she had a project going in her village where she would be model in a recycled dress and I told her i'd be there and I was I saw her smiling at me and waving, i texted her like 2 hours after the event that even in recycled tires she looked amazing and she really did and i got this dry text back: Hahahahaha thanks

Im kind of clueless, good thing is that I don't love her yet i've prevented myself from going that way because of my past dramatic experience with a girl.
also I consider myself an okay looking guy, i'm honest and dress nice and I always keep my word if I promise something, I text with the girl daily with the exception of past 2 days because i'm kinda thrown offguard because of her confession on MSN. in which I told her she might need to be alone for a while.


Give me some solid advice guys! I kinda made a pact with myself not to go on internet for answers again but I have no one to talk to about this in real life that can help me.

[devonbrown]

It sounds like she likes you only as much as you give her attention. She is using you to boost her self-esteem. You are, at best, friend-zoned. I don't think you really have to worry about losing your shot, because it doesn't really sound like she wants to give you one.

I'm sorry, as I am sure this is not what you want to hear, but it would probably be best to look elsewhere for your romantic interests.

Good luck.

[Way2Roux]

She's probably caught up because she was rejected. It's undeniable that people hate to be rejected. My boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend did NOT love each other, but it was hard for her to get over him simply because he is the one who called the shots. I'm sure she's probably very hurt. Maybe you just need to give her some time? And space... I'm sure she's a good girl and I'm not bashing your judgment, but I wouldn't want to be hanging around and hooking up with someone who isn't over her ex yet.

She isn't necessarily using you to "boost her self-esteem", but you should never assume that fooling with someone will lead to dating. It's a crass fact, but that's how heartbreak happens. Don't think about her. If she cares about you, it willl fall into place. I personally hate the notion of falling in love with someone because I'm afraid it will lead to heartbreak. So I tend to just focus on myself, keep my options open, try to have fun with my friends, etc...

Good luck :-)

[Rabbitt]

Thanks for the advice, I dont think she's using me for her self esteem either she's not the type to do that. Also i've been with her around her friends i'm convinced she's not using me for anything.

Could she be in love with the guy's unavailability? She always complained this and that how she could never be with him and how it hard it was to reach him (wether by phone or just getting a grip on him).

BTW she just texted me as we speak out of the blue asking if one of my cars are parked in her village. I'll think i'll answer it tomorrow i'd like to call the shots from now on really.

She's a great girl she really is I just thinks she doesn't have herself in one place.

^Way2Roux that's exactly why I have fear of commitment because I don't want another heartbreak I don't think i'll be able to deal with that right now as I just got over a really really dramatic and emotional intense experience with an ex of mine.