Girl at work situation! HELP!

[blackie08]

Hi guys!

New to this forum, but require your knowledgeable advise.....and fast!

Ok, so firstly myself, not being involved in many relationships in all my 28 years, so am a tad inexperienced I have to say when it comes to understanding how girls work.

Not being the most outward or confident guy when it comes to girls, I genuinely struggle to remain calm and keep focused when I come into contact, especially one which is extremely attractive like such. Having said that, I have been working out at the gym on a daily basis, and gained a not to bad upper frame in a short 4 month period, which has in effect, provided me with more confidence, that may sound rather lame, but hey!

Having just started a new job 5 weeks ago, I spotted a beautiful looking girl who works there, easily the most attractive in the office. She certainly caught both of my eyes, and am pretty sure I caught hers.

It turns out the office gets revamped a little, so my work statioon ends up being directly next to her. We've been chatting daily for 3 weeks now, and outwith the fact she is very attractive, she is genuinely a lovely, humble extremely helpful person. I feel in my short time knowing her, I have known her for a long time. We get along great, perhaps to well? general chat, jokes, humour, sarcasm etc, we just seem to click. She really opens up to me about her relationship, and mentions she loves her boyfriend, but is a rather horrible to her verbally and do argue each night. I've became more comfortable around her the last week, expressing certain aspects of myself I would never have dream of saying to anyone else, and she appears really listen and advise me. I understand how attraction can lead to copying body language etc, and this is bigtime. She will repeat certain things over I have stated, and hand movements appear the same quite regularly daily aswell.

The last week though, from monday onwards, there has been a bit of tention, perhaps sexually on both our parts am not to sure? She would get kinda snappy at the slightest thing id say, and be quite agressive, going red in the face upon doing so. I tok it upon myself to ask her if everything is alright, but she just continually says she is tired. I decided to leave the chat for a bit, to she if she came round, been that focused on my workload, I must have went 2 hours withou a single word to her. In which time she would make huffing and sighing noises, and slam her drawers upon putting files away etc. She then began chatting as if nothing had happened!! Stating: "what's up with you today, you've noot spoke to me allday!" at this point am like WTF is going on?? How do I play this?? This basically continued right through till friday, where she would be happy and chatty one minte then ignore me the next.

We had a team night out in town on friday after work, not being a big drinking I was the only sober person in the house. She began hugging me pre drunk stage, and sat chatting for god part of the night. She invited her boyfriend later in the night, who I got on really well with, he actually appear on the surface a really nice guy. She never gave him much attention all night, leaving just us two chatting. Yet again, at the the bar there was a large queue so as she was getting served, I asked her to buy me a coke, and offered her the money of course. To which I got told: "**** off!" ppppffftttttt! Not another word spoken until she comes up at the end of the night and kisses me a few time, all be it on the check!

It is now Sunday morning and am consumed with absolute confusion over the situation, but still cant help thinking about her!!!

Please help!

[Andariel]

She's got a boyfriend whom you actually have met-you should back off. She is either being overly friendly or she does like you and is enjoying your attention. If the latter is the case, you need to ask yourself whether you would want to be with a girl though who engages in flirting with other men whilst having a boyfriend, bearing in mind that this boyfriend could be you in the future?

She hasn't given you any signs that she actually might be interested (kissing you on the cheek whilst being hammered doesn't really count!) and most importantly she has a boyfriend who she is serious enough with to bring to work functions. IMO, she is just being friendly and perhaps she's starting to realise that you like her and this is possibly why one minute she is nice, the next she is being rather cold; so that she can help you realise she's just not that into you.Also, if she was interested she wouldn't have brought her boyfriend with her when she knew you were going to be there-she would have used this as an opportunity to get to know you better.

Don't pursue this one. If she breaks up with her boyfriend in the future then you could pursue her if you are still interested. In the meantime, focus on your work as this is a new job and your coworkers/line manager would not take too well to you flirting in the office (especially if the girl in question turns out to not be interested), and keep looking for dates outside the workplace for now.