i m lost.... pls help

[tedretam]

so the story was that me and this guy has been in a relationship for 7 years. we have broke up once in 2009, then i moved to another country for a year, and when i visit hong kong in 2010, he asked to be back together, knowing that i am only back to hong kong for a holiday, but anyhow we got back together, then after i left hong kong, he wanted to break up, n the reason was that i didn't break things off completely n wholelly with the guy i was dating when me n him was separated. but i have told him that, i can't just cut it off n be gone, that would hurt that guy, which i feel bad for, cos i m basically dumping that guy b/c of him. but anyhow. this guy has recently disappeared when i tried to call him, n i called his office, that his co-workers told me he is on a holiday. n the first thing that comes to my mind is that he is on a holiday with his new gf, that he didn't tell me abt.

i know we have broken up, but nth has changed between the two of us. we still talk like when were still together... but i have been working so hard to move on for the past 6 months. b/c i do realize, after all, i have been stuck in this relationship for 7 years. but i feel that it is harder to move on this time, compared to the first time we broke up. i have been putting so much effort to forget n stop crying abt for this relationship...... can someone tell me what am i doing? i m just lost..... i dun know how i can get out of this....

[devonbrown]

First of all - Issues are not more important just because they are written in a bigger font.

Secondly, if I read this right, you were dating someone (Guy A) and then broke up with them. Then you started dating someone else (Guy B). Then you hooked up again with Guy A, essentially cheating on Guy B. Then Guy A disappears for a while and you think he is with his new girlfriend and that upsets you, even though you aren't dating. Is that right?

Okay, advice time - stop talking to Guy A. Stop thinking about Guy A. Concentrate on Guy B. And then realize that you shouldn't have cheated on Guy B and ask for forgiveness. Or break up with him and let him find someone who isn't as confused.

[tedretam]

yes u are right, essentially i was cheating on guy b.

but i can't go back to be with guy b again, because even before guy a asked to be back together again, while i was with B, i know at the back of my mind that i luv A more. n i no longer like B and i have broke up with B

the thing is.. how can i stop thinking abt A.... i have did it before, that i moved on, but this second time, to have to break up and move on again is just so much harder for some reason...

[bulrush]

To stop thinking about Guy A, get some hobbies, hang out with friends, read, watch movies, do things to occupy your brain so your brain does not think about Guy A. Or get a new boyfriend where you live.