why doesn't he ask me out?

[itsstillsunny]

I met a guy at a get together on July 4. He texts me about every other day but he never has asked me on an official date. He has come over once and we spent time together at my place but that was 3 weeks ago. Why is he keeping in touch but not asking me for a date?
I asked him by text if he wanted to be "just friends or was he attracted to me and he said he was attracted to me. He only calls if i ask him if he wants to actually talk. He is younger than me so I don't know what to expect. I am seperated and my soon to be ex wants the divorce but he hasn't filed yet? That is a whole other story.
I asked my new "friend" out once but he said he had plans that night so I feel very confused.
Any advice?

[JustSomeGuy777]

Sounds like he is either, not that into you, or shy. But considering what you have wrote, he must be into you. Perhaps he wants you to make the moves.

[Tweet_love_doc]

Speaking as a Guy, it is at hold for us to make the dissions and "step up" to the challenge and ask the woman but i must say some guys like the girls to make the first move.

You could try this approach.

From what i see he wants to get in touch but is nervous as to what you feel, he could feel your wrapped up in a stressful time with the devorse and thinks you want someone to talk too but doesn't want to push it... My advise ask him.

Hope This Helps

twitter.com/tweet_love_doc

[maxmax]

Possibly shy or inexperienced.

However, if it is either of the above, then he needs to get some balls. You've already spelled it out to him; if he can't take the hint and be a bit more proactive, then forget about him. Imagine what he'd be like in bed? You'd probably have to prompt him to do everything.

Another possibility is that he is keeping you as an option, as he knows you are keen but has other options currently available to him.

[Wakeup]

According to your other thread you're still very much hurting from your current separation and by the sounds of things if you're reprobate ex comes running back to you, you'll accept him in a heartbeat. So: I have to ask you why you're trying to start something up with someone when you've no where finished processing your last relationship?

As for the guy that's just text you. Why don't you leave him alone and get a guy that doesn't care if you're only separated and knows how to keep things casual and emotion free while you sort out your past romantic life?

BTW: (re yet another thread) You'll likely not even feel you've been played (whether he's a player or not) if you aren't using your woohoo as a bartering tool... As in: I gave you sex so you should give me a relationship. If you go to bed with a man before you know him and have descerned how much (or how little) he values you, then don't be expecting an outcome.

No expectation = No disappointments.

[Riku]

Because he doesn't want to date you. He possibly just wants to have a FWB but it doesn't sound like he's even sure about that. I don't think he's at all interested in you..sorry.

[itsstillsunny]

I like this guy but he is young and seems shy and inexperienced. I really need a distraction right now. It takes my mind away from the obsessive thoughts I have about my ex and our separation. I feel very alone right now and not very attractive since the man I have loved for the past 6 years doesn't want to even try to work on himself or our marriage. When I am with this guy or talking to him for a moment I forget. I forget the pain, the loneliness, the betrayal. I feel attractive again.
I am an attractive woman i know this deep down. You are right I am weak for my ex. I have taken him back before and I can't say that he were to call me right now that I wouldn't meet with him. That is why I need someone to keep me strong and distracted. When the divorce papers do come I don't want to fall to pieces.
I wanted just what you said something casual and fun just to help past the time because I know one day I will wake up and the pain of all this will be gone.It will take time though.
I can't stand the thought that my ex is probably out there screwing whatever whenever. When this guy friend came over we had fun, no sex though I still feel married in that respect. Anything intimate feels like cheating. I wish I could get over that.
I know he wanted to but he didn't press the issue. I want to just have meaningless fun sex with this guy or at least someone descent but I also want to go on dates and get to know him a little better before I let him inside me. How do I know if a guy is descent or not? I feel like i am so naive when it comes to men. I have made so many bad choices in men over the years. Is this guy not asking me out because I didnt sleep with him on the first date? Why keep texting me then?

[itsstillsunny]

Why does he keep texting me then if he doesn't want to date me?

[itsstillsunny]

Ask him what questions specifically? I don't want to seem needy or desperate so i have been just trying to be cool about the slow progression of things but I am considering just not responding to the texts and be done with him but he seems like a nice guy who may be just giving me space like you said. I don't know.... I am not good at this whole dating thing that is why most of my adult life I have been either married or dating exclusively. I hate all the wondering about this and that.

[Wakeup]

I like this guy but he is young and seems shy and inexperienced. I really need a distraction right now. It takes my mind away from the obsessive thoughts I have about my ex and our separation. I feel very alone right now and not very attractive since the man I have loved for the past 6 years doesn't want to even try to work on himself or our marriage. When I am with this guy or talking to him for a moment I forget. I forget the pain, the loneliness, the betrayal. I feel attractive again.
I am an attractive woman i know this deep down. You are right I am weak for my ex. I have taken him back before and I can't say that he were to call me right now that I wouldn't meet with him. That is why I need someone to keep me strong and distracted. When the divorce papers do come I don't want to fall to pieces.
I wanted just what you said something casual and fun just to help past the time because I know one day I will wake up and the pain of all this will be gone.It will take time though.
I can't stand the thought that my ex is probably out there screwing whatever whenever. When this guy friend came over we had fun, no sex though I still feel married in that respect. Anything intimate feels like cheating. I wish I could get over that.
I know he wanted to but he didn't press the issue. I want to just have meaningless fun sex with this guy or at least someone descent but I also want to go on dates and get to know him a little better before I let him inside me. How do I know if a guy is descent or not? I feel like i am so naive when it comes to men. I have made so many bad choices in men over the years. Is this guy not asking me out because I didnt sleep with him on the first date? Why keep texting me then?

Please do yourself a huge favor and put dating on the back burner for now.. at least until you are less naive and vulnerable and lonely. Learn to live independently while being happy in your own skin, content to come home, relax with a glass of red and be satisfied with your own company. If you don't then I fear some new guy is going to rip out any tiny bit of self-worth you get from his attention if/when he disappears on you or treats you badly. You're in no state to suss out when you're being mis-treated at the moment.

I'll Add: Self-worth comes from within, from personal accomplishments and loving one's self. Give yourself some time to be the best you that you can be before jumping back into the dating pool, while being unable to suss out a creep because you're lonely and therefore desperate and ending up jumping from the frying pan (your soon to be ex husband) and into the fire (some new guy just like him but with a different face).

[bulrush]

If your divorce is not final, then you are still married. I don't date married girls. He might share my views and is waiting for the divorce to be finalized.

Or he may be shy and need you to directly say you want to DATE him. Say the word "date". Just try it. Something nice might happen.