Girlfriend says she wants to slow down.. how to ease her into it?

[jimbobob]

Hey, I've been going out with my girlfriend for almost 4 months now. We're both 21 but I'm her first boyfriend and in the first month we had gotten around to touching each other's bare private parts but that's it. Afterwards, she said she wanted to slow down and take it easy, which was fine. Since then, she hasn't let me touch her at all whatsoever in the past 3 months, though she enjoys rubbing my junk (with clothes on).

She is very curious and I believe she wants to go further but feels weird or awkward and not comfortable as a result. I'm more experienced, and I'm wondering how to ease her into it? I don't want to rush anything, but it feels like if left to time completely, it wouldn't progress.

[Yet another guy]

You've been together for 4 months, haven't had sex, and she wants to slow down?
Seems to me like she has really low libido or something. I would go see a sex therapist if I was her.

[spunkyhungry]

She's probably really inexperienced and scared. Why don't you talk to her and ask her what she feels comfortable doing and what it would take to get her comfortable to move on. She might naturally get more comfortable after she knows you better. I had my first relationship at age 22, and I didn't feel comfortable doing ANY touching until about 4-5 months. At 7 months we started oral. At one year we had sex. It took so long because we both needed to feel comfortable, safe, and ready. And now I absolutely LOVE having sex, it's one of my favorite things. She just probably needs more time.

[Kyrina]

Losing your virginity especially for females is very frightening you have all sorts of questions in your head, first respect her wishes and take it slow that first time can hurt like hell and we all know the stories from others of the same gender are a little horrific.
You could suggest touching her panties, they are flimsy enough to get the sensation, even to the point of you using your mouth against them this gives her some security and lets her have an idea of the sensation.
Dont be like so many guys its got to go in or it means nothing blah blah, she will resent you if you pressure her and then hurt her with fumbling, why not take it slow its worth that chance of a better sex life and relationship in the end.

[bloodtippedrose]

Long foreplay and fast hands

[vashti]

Her abstinence may be for religious reasons, in which case you aren't likely going to have sex with her unless you marry her first. I think you should ask her directly if she is saving herself for marriage.

[bulrush]

Seems to me like she has really low libido or something. I would go see a sex therapist if I was her.

She's probably really inexperienced and scared.

Losing your virginity especially for females is very frightening you have all sorts of questions in your head,

I agree with all these. Which means: she's not ready and you are never going to get any. So get another girlfriend. She's won't even give you a tuggie to help you out? Now you know she is rude and selfish. Nice catch, guy.

I'm sure she's nice. But you two have different goals. Nip the frustration in the bud and find a new gf.

[bloodtippedrose]

Nip the frustration in the bud and find a new gf.

Dump the girl because she needs to be eased into losing her virginity? Classy

[PainfulLonging]

Well you can't force it. Tell her how much you care about her and how you won't hurt her. She'll then trust you enough to have sex with you.