Yo. I be havin' a dilemma y'all.

[Evo1114]

So, I have made a half-hearted attempt with online dating before, but the site I used (eHarmony) was stupid and full of ugly-butts. So I decided to put a profile out there on plentyoffvckbuddies as it is so lovingly referred to on here. My profile is a pure masterpiece, I must say, and I imagine once I put my picture up, any woman who looks will immediately be wet. (<---Just kidding, sort of).

But, here is the dilemma. I have been avoiding dating because of a girl I'm holding out for who will not be anywhere near my area until *sometime* in 2012. That may sound pathetic, but I don't care. I've been pining for her for the last several years, and finally convinced her to come up to visit our niece and nephew (she's godmother, I'm godfather) by asking her out on a date while she's here. (My sister-in-law told me that the reason her sister was not coming up here was because she's in love with me).

So, say I meet somebody...there is absolutely no way in hell i'm going to screw this girl from Mexico over by saying 'oh, I'm sorry, I'm seeing somebody else right now. Thanks for coming up here though'. Before I knew she was into me, I had screwed her over by telling her I'd come say goodbye to her and then proceeded to drop the ball. She was heartbroken. So I'd definitely have to honor that date and WANT to honor that date. I'm not a cheater, I don’t foresee me ever doing that. But if things got a little hot and heavy with her, I don't know what would happen. But the main issue right now is that I'm feeling UNGODLY lonely. I haven't had a date since January and I need to get laid...ASAP. I don't do one-night stands, so that doesn't work. I wouldn't pay for sex, because I should be the one being paid for my talents, not the other way around. And I am probably 'wonking my cronker' too much as is.

I have no clue yet when she will be coming to visit. Could be December of 2012 for all I know. The obvious solutions here would be to continue holding off dating so that I don't meet somebody long-term material (my balls might explode). Or date somebody, break up with them when my lady friend comes around, then try and get back together with them (very shady...probably couldn't live with myself). Or probably the best solution is to just get over her and go out as friends. But easier said, than done. And like I said, I have no clue what will transpire when we do go out. A lot of hypotheticals going on up in here, but I just want to prepare for the worst (or best?) case scenario. Blah, blah, blah, bleep blop bloop bop.

It is so ridiculous to be hung up on somebody that I might see once a year from here on out. I know that, but feel free to say that anyways. I've lasted this long (almost 9 months), but it's getting harder (no pun intended).

I guess I didn't really ask any specific questions...but oh well. You can type whatever you want, if you want. With that, I have to go pee.

[vashti]

You can't be sure this girl is ever actually going to come to visit, so you are foolish to be waiting. She may meet someone, or YOU may. That's the way relationships work. A big part of it is about timing.

[Ric]

It's never a smart idea to wait out for someone. I did it once, later realized it was a dumb move and I might have met someone very special if I happened to keep my eyes open instead of closing them for all but one.

There are more options.
How about, dating someone, realizing you like her more than the girl you're waiting for, be happy.
Or, dating someone, have great sex, making sure your balls don't explode, realizing she's not who you're looking for, break up.

The biggest obstacle, which is one I have no idea how to overcome, is not comparing whoever you date to the girl you're so in love with right now.

[Evo1114]

She's coming up. 100% certain on that. Her entire family lives up here now, including her niece and nephew whom she is Godmother to and has not seen in over 3 years. According to my sister-in-law, I was the reason she was not coming up, but I asked her out, she was excited for it, so that barrier has been broken. She hates living down there, but there's not much she can do about it.

I have dated people even after I knew she was in love with me, (as my sister-in-law claimed). Then I started learning Spanish, she learned English through her work and we can actually hold a conversation now (opportunity knocking). Whereas before we could not really speak at all. I even joined that online dating site about 5 months ago (and contacted a couple people who never responded), but since I asked her out, I've kind of put dating on hold completely because of my probable irrational thinking. For all I know, we could go out and wind up not being able to stand one another, but I don't know, I don't foresee that. Haha. Maybe I just need to stop worrying so much about what-ifs. I should have learned that from this forum by now.

Screw it. I'll ask somebody out. Maybe I'll meet the a new person of my dreams and just chalk this one up to a missed opportunity because of the immigration laws. Then just go out with her as friends when she's here. I doubt she'd want to get TOO attached anyways before she has to go back to Mexico.

[Evo1114]

It's never a smart idea to wait out for someone. I did it once, later realized it was a dumb move and I might have met someone very special if I happened to keep my eyes open instead of closing them for all but one.

There are more options.
How about, dating someone, realizing you like her more than the girl you're waiting for, be happy.
Or, dating someone, have great sex, making sure your balls don't explode, realizing she's not who you're looking for, break up.

The biggest obstacle, which is one I have no idea how to overcome, is not comparing whoever you date to the girl you're so in love with right now.

True. When my sister-in-law called me and told me that her sister was in love with me, I was in a relationship, and I did start comparing. Although that entire relationship was extremely rocky, so it wasn't really hard to wish for something better. But I know there is probably someone out there who could make me happy enough to turn that off in my brain.

[Ric]

True. When my sister-in-law called me and told me that her sister was in love with me, I was in a relationship, and I did start comparing. Although that entire relationship was extremely rocky, so it wasn't really hard to wish for something better. But I know there is probably someone out there who could make me happy enough to turn that off in my brain.

It's a big issue. I'm madly in love with a girl I feel is perfect for me. I'm sure I felt similarly strongly about other girls, but I never felt anyone perfect for me. But, as she is already in a relationship I can't allow myself to wait it out even though I might wish too.
I keep my eyes open for opportunities, but opportunities will be hard to present themselves if your state of mind is "She's no where near as good as her." This isn't fair to either you or the new girl you might have an interest in, in my mind.
But I do realize that's the exact mind set I need to overcome if I want a life that doesn't depend on waiting for something that might never come.

[KingZ]

Screw it. I'll ask somebody out. Maybe I'll meet the a new person of my dreams and just chalk this one up to a missed opportunity because of the immigration laws. Then just go out with her as friends when she's here. I doubt she'd want to get TOO attached anyways before she has to go back to Mexico.

Mmmm... something I've learned over time is that you shouldn't worry too much about decisions like this. Don't force things. If she's not there with you at the right time, you're just going to have to find someone else. Go with the flow of things.

There are 153,503,275 women in the US, and depending on where you live, the number of them in your region alone is still probably an extremely large number. You can't tell me, reasonably, that this woman is really that perfect.

[Evo1114]

Mmmm... something I've learned over time is that you shouldn't worry too much about decisions like this. Don't force things. If she's not there with you at the right time, you're just going to have to find someone else. Go with the flow of things.

There are 153,503,275 women in the US, and depending on where you live, the number of them in your region alone is still probably an extremely large number. You can't tell me, reasonably, that this woman is really that perfect.

Well, in my mind I KNOW she is. Haha. But I know you are probably right.

I contacted 2 ladies on the stupid online dating site just now, so I'll see what happens. I can always talk to the attractive girl at the gym that I see often too. She was giving me the eyes, so maybe I'll see what is up. I imagine once I am out dating again, my constant pining will probably subside.

[reeba]

Maybe I'm wrong, and you have met this woman many times and had many conversations, and your 'love' is actually based on something. Did you sister in law say her sister loves you (really likes you as a family member), or that she was 'in love with you'?

But I think you prefer fantasy over reality. You are refusing to date others because you consider it cheating? Ummmm...................is there a relationship here? Or are you making excuses to avoid the harsh reality of the dating scene.

[Sonrisa]

is she Mexican?

[6wordsentence]

uhmm hi friend,

since I've read your post and found it quite amusing i'll give you my quick opinion about this situation.

See correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't she the one that's supposed to bother herself with this stuff? If YOU like her or not? See you need to understand that if she ever liked you, it wasn't because you were acting desperate, so just be your self, live your life and when you do meet, if she really loves you... we'll see what happens then ok.

I hope I could help you out a little

Yours truly,

The 6 Word Sentence

[Evo1114]

is she Mexican?

Si, senorita!

---
Alright, so I got it off my chest and I know what I need to do. I'm talking to a couple lovely ladies on the stupid online dating site, so I'll see what happens there. Thanks for the responses. Yes, I know I'm probably a little whacked in regards to this situation and I feel kind of stupid even posting about it, but I don't care, because I'm still AWESOME regardless. Boom.

[Evo1114]

And just like that I have a date for next weekend. Thank you stupid online dating site. Haha.

[Sonrisa]

hope you use protection. good luck

[Sonrisa]

Si, senorita!

---
Alright, so I got it off my chest and I know what I need to do. I'm talking to a couple lovely ladies on the stupid online dating site, so I'll see what happens there. Thanks for the responses. Yes, I know I'm probably a little whacked in regards to this situation and I feel kind of stupid even posting about it, but I don't care, because I'm still AWESOME regardless. Boom.

you should really consider cultural differences. i for one could never have a healthy relationship with other cultures and have seen many fail as well.