help: in loved with a married woman

[Kyle91]

hi people,

I'm in love with a married woman who is 10 years older than me, we have been together for 3 years + and we had sex. she has a 1 year old son. I really don't know what should I do. She said that when she really love me when it was 1- 2 years back she rejected her husband for sex for many times but I really don't know whether should I trust her or not.

Many people have asked me to leave her because she have got a family and I shouldn't ruin her family but whenever I wanted to leave and told her that we should break up, I would definitely miss her badly and we would patch up again because she thinks that I'm just being "emo".

When we quarreled because she made a mistake and I wanted to leave, she would ask me to stay. However whenever we patch back she will continue to be cold towards me. Whenever I called/ message her, she wouldn't even reply me a single message. she knows that I prefer someone who can accompany me but whenever she is free she would rather play her Iphone and not even reply me, not even a good night message. Her reasons being she want to have her own time to relax or have peace.

I really wished to be with her, although I know that she wouldn't leave her husband but at least I really wish she can put in some more time for me. I'm really very confused, don't know what should I do. when I leave her it hurts when I'm with her I cannot stop thinking about her husband and when at night I'm so afraid that they are having sex. and because of this we have quarrel non-stop, I really don't know whether she love me or not or does she still love her husband.

Really hope someone can give me some advices.

Additional info:
when we quarreled she can message me in the midnight and even called me but when things became alright she will ignore me totally.

[Ric]

Sounds like she's using you for a bit of fun whenever she's bored.

Just get it done with, cut off any contact with her and find someone that is actually willing to invest themselves in you.

[Kyrina]

Yep definetly using you to boost her self esteem with her toyboy lover,you argue she is all over you when your good she is cold,you may love her but i wouldnt say she loves you

[jb1111983]

You're her sex toy. Her husband has every right to fook her every night. You have the right to stay awake all night and worry about her having sex with her husband. By the way, how does it feel to help someone cheat on their spouse? I hope you'll also share your future wife with some younger dude.

[richardwordoff]

Cut off contact with her. You shouldn't have helped her cheat on her husband. That's an asshole thing to do.

[Andariel]

Getting involved in an affair only ends up one way: someone gets hurt and usually it is not just one person but a bunch of them(the kids, the cheated husband or wife etc). You have already wasted 3 years of your life with a woman who has no respect for her family, cheats on her husband and is willing to jeopardise her child's tranquility and stability by having an affair. You are 10 years younger than her; chances are she does not see you as potential future husband material. It is quite obvious she is using you for sex. Chances are she is still having sex with her husband as well and why shouldn't she? She is still married to him!

She is not going to leave him for you and even if she did, would you want to be with a woman who cheats on her spouse for 3 whole years?This is not a drunken mistake we are talking about. She deceives him every day. Can you imagine the hurt she is going to cause him if he finds out?Have you considered the consequences this would have for her child who is completely innocent and does not deserve to go through the pain of a divorce? Have you considered the emotional damage YOU are causing YOURSELF by continuing to be involved with a married woman?

If you value and respect yourself at all and if you have empathy for other people, you will put an end to this. If not for anyone else, then do it for your emotional health and sanity.Nothing good can come from this. It is time to move on and find a woman you will love and be with you100%. Why settle for anything less?

[Kyle91]

anyw, i didnt even want to help her cheat on her husband but she just says that she doesn't love her husband anymore, she says it's just like a habit and she didn't want her son to lose his bio father

[Andariel]

They all say that, honey.They will all come up with a million excuses to justify their behaviour.

The problem is that when you get yourself involved in situations like this, you will always end up getting hurt.Even if she does leave her husband (and I don't believe she will), your relationship was based on a lie from the very beginning. You will always wonder if she is doing the same thing to you, her husband will always be in her life (they have a child together after all) and you will never be 100% free of him or the bad memories of the period when you were both sneaking around. Why do this to yourself?You really need to get out of this situation. Don't waste any more of your time with her and don't allow her to use you anymore.

[Ric]

Does that matter? You're still helping her cheat, and considering it's been going on for 3 years don't be counting on her getting a divorce anytime soon.

If she loved you and felt her husband a habit, she would have long ago left him. Breaking up doesn't mean her son can't see his father anymore. She's using every excuse to keep you hooked in so she can feel good about herself. You're merely a toy. If you leave, she'll find herself another young toy. Hell, chances are she already has a few.