My boyfriend is insecure about sex. Need help..

[lovely32]

He never really ever told me tht he was insecure about sex and yesterday he opened up to me about it and was telling me that hes insecure about size, performance and how long he lasts and to me i see no problem at all with all that. I never told him anything that would make him think that hes bad in bed. He is in the military and is currently deployed so i feel that that maybe has something to do with it because we cant have sex..I dont know what to say to make him feel better i told him hes good and all but he said that he still doesnt think so...idk. He was pretty upset..How can i help?

[Luke315]

For one thing, I'd recommend being as specific as possible when telling him why you're satisfied with your sex life--make it concrete and it will be easier for him to believe you. Also, try doing little things to show him that you're attracted to him and desire him--randomly gaze at him, give him unexpected hugs and kisses, etc. And, not to sound crude, but come onto him at random times. Make sure he feels pursued and desired. And after a sexual session, make it as clear as possible how much you enjoyed it.

I've experienced such under-confidence myself before, and for what it's worth, these are the kinds of things that would help me feel better. If he's sitting with you explaining his feelings of under-confidence, instead of saying anything, just kiss him and initiate sex. Actions speak louder than words, after all.

[smackie9]

Men seem to think that is how us women judge a man....by his penis. He is actually worried of infidelity because he will away from you. I think he is having more of a tough time trusting you, but he isn't saying it. I would ask him about his past in regards to other GFs that may have cheated on him to put him in this frame of mind. Open communication on a regular basis will be the only way to help him through this fear.

[oaks]

probs around heaps of guys with junk bigger then his.

[Kyrina]

Your time together is often short and often highly emotional/sexually charged.Luke is correct in his advice,also whilst he doesnt want to sound crude i will say that while having sex dont just moan your pleasure say it such oh god yes i like that, or please baby more when he really gets you going timing is necessary but you will know when to say it, at the end tell him your sorry but you just cant get enough of his body and how he feels inside you,what his hands feel like tell him you have never wanted a guy so bad as you want him.That when he makes love to you this is constantly in your mind when he's away in deployment,and this is what you think about to see you through his time away,also the feel of his hand in yours the little things his kisses the taste of his lips.
Write him sensual letters reminding him of your sex sessions telling him how you loved it when his lips touched you in places be explicit but not tacky with it.Tell him how he makes you squirm for more when he's thrusting inside you.We all have the ability to say these things and guys love it but only be truthful dont lie, be noisier in sex talk not a whole conversation but that oh god yes please kind of way.
We know what men feel and how they like to make women into howlers when having sex if you are too laid back and dont seem responsive in actions he wont believe your words.