shes having sex with at least two other guys besides me

[justsomedude]

ok, catchy headline i know. heres the deal. we both in our 40's. on and off for a years. we not exclusive even though she says she wants to be only with me, but to many probs w her personality for me to consider that.now she doing online dating. i found out ( doesnt matter how,please) that shes having sex w a guy shes been dating for a few months, and now a guy she went on a couple of dates with, and still wants to have sex with me. part of me is disgusted by her, and part of me is thinking its her prerogative and right to do this.not sure how to handle this. she went away with guy a a few days ago, is sleeping over guy b house sunday night, then plans on sleeping over by me on monday. there could be other uys shes sleeping with as well that i dont know of. any and all opinions and advice. please be courteous.

[Ric]

I'm fine with wanting a non-exclusive relationship, but your reasoning, her many personality problems, is beyond stupid. It's just a silly excuse to sleep with other women. You're in your 40s and obviously haven't learned to grow up yet.

Keep your whining to yourself. It's obvious the non-exclusive relationship was your idea. So don't back out now and be a pussy about it. She's sleeping with others as per your agreements. You're not exclusive so you don't even have the rights to whine about it.

If you want exclusivity, offer it to her. Though, with her many personality problems... you're probably better off breaking it off with her.

[martial_wolf]

On a logical level, you aren't in an official committed relationship so you shouldn't care. On an emotional level you ARE in a rather serious relationship with her. Think about it. She says she wants to be with you, the two of you have sex, and you posted this on a relationship forum. Step number one is deal with the fact that you do have serious feelings for her despite whatever personality problems she has. Step two is decide for yourself if you have a problem with this. My guess is yes you do. If you decide that you do you have two options.

1. Tell her how you feel and try to make a monogamous relationship work.

2. Tell her to get out of your life.

Not trying to be a jerk about this, just trying to lay it out as best I can.

If you don't care then you can keep doing what you are doing or stop doing it due to the health risks associated with her sleeping with so many different people.

And ask yourself: "If she is not with me is there a chance that one of these other guys thinks that she's only with him?"

[justsomedude]

yeah Ric, thanks for being such a nice courteous guy. how about we meet somewhere so u can open your big mouth to me in person? im in NYC, so how about it tough guy?

[Wakeup]

What the hell do you want us to tell you? You're having sex with her and by all accounts three other guys. Wear a rubber! (and use a dental dam)

[justsomedude]

well, im outta here, as most of you cant seem to carry on a normal conversation. probably kids.

[Wakeup]

^^^ *shrugs* It's your choice whether you want to sexually share her, ask her to be exclusive and trust that she won't cheat on you or, dump her and find someone a little more descerning in who she beds.

We can't make the decision for you so you have to make up your own mind. Be sure what you want when you do it and be careful what you wish for would certainly apply.

Get yourself tested for sure no matter what you decide to do and decide quick before you end up with herpes or worse.

[Ric]

I don't see a need to be courteous. You don't want to be exclusive with her because you don't really like her personality. And yet you feel jealous of her boning other guys.
Get yourself together and decided what it is you actually want.

[surfhb]

yeah Ric, thanks for being such a nice courteous guy. how about we meet somewhere so u can open your big mouth to me in person? im in NYC, so how about it tough guy?

Since we're both from NYC, you'd understand I'd have no problem telling this to your face....tough guy!

The ball was in your court and you blew it! Deal!

[MerryH]

yeah Ric, thanks for being such a nice courteous guy. how about we meet somewhere so u can open your big mouth to me in person? im in NYC, so how about it tough guy?

Ahahahaha.

"Yeah Ric, thanks for giving your opinion after I asked for it. How's about you buy a plane ticket to NYC so I can kick your faggot ass? Oh, you won't spend money to get into a physical fight over words on the internet? I knew you were a pussy."

So dumb.

[boobaa]

ok, catchy headline i know. heres the deal. we both in our 40's. on and off for a years. we not exclusive even though she says she wants to be only with me, but to many probs w her personality for me to consider that.now she doing online dating. i found out ( doesnt matter how,please) that shes having sex w a guy shes been dating for a few months, and now a guy she went on a couple of dates with, and still wants to have sex with me. part of me is disgusted by her, and part of me is thinking its her prerogative and right to do this.not sure how to handle this. she went away with guy a a few days ago, is sleeping over guy b house sunday night, then plans on sleeping over by me on monday. there could be other uys shes sleeping with as well that i dont know of. any and all opinions and advice. please be courteous.

Sure, its her right to do this. But you have right to feel uncomfortable also. If stuff doesn't feel comfortable, change it or leave it behind. If she can not put her actions where her words are, then you know what to do. It is really simple actually. Do you want to feel comfortable?

[maxmax]

STDs are not your friend ... and neither is she.