My Baseball player boy is more than confused & driving me crazy

[whateverworks]

Im sorry if this is long but I really would appreciate some input
So I have known "Brad" since 5th grade I had a secret crush on him. We dated in high school and he was head over heels in love with me and I broke his heart. I got married and when my marriage started falling apart and both me and my husband had agreed to call it quits. My two year old found "Brads" senior picture with a cute little dedication on the back that said "to my luv I hope you show this picture to your kids one day so they can see your boyfriend in high school. they will probably wish you would have married me" I was so surprised and sort of saw it as a sign. I started to remember how sweet, attentive, kind Brad had always been and how I always went for the bad guys instead. So I noticed my best friend had Brad as a friend on her Face Book. So I added him and we began to communicate. Through out high school Brad played baseball and unknown to me eventually played professionally ( he now plays in the big leagues for a famous team). Since I was still legally married he never imagined that I contacted him as more than a friend. But Since I had been emotionally & sexually checked out of my relationship (for about 2 years) with my soon to be Exhusband I of course wanted more than a friendship with Brad. So one day I suggested we should meet up. We did and during Dinner he asked if I was happy in my marriage and I said that I was not and that I was filing for divorce soon. We began a love affair but only slept together once. The next day I moved out of my ex husbands house. During the months prior Brad was having a really hard time with the situation of me living with my ex even though we had not shared a bedroom for years. Brad tried to call it quits a few times saying that he wanted to "do this but not until your legally divorced and out of your ex's household". ( the only reason I stayed living with my ex was because I couldn't afford to support me and my daughter)
So when I finally move out it was Baseball season and Brad was out of state. At that point we had already told each other we loved one another and that we would be in a relationship soon. When I moved in to my new place Brad flew in to town to visit me since his team had all star games and he was able to take 4 days off. We had an amazing time together great sex, fun dates he basically lived with me for those four days. On the last day we went out clubbing and he got extremely intoxicated like I had never seen him before in my life. By the way he confessed he has attachment issues and is sick of playing baseball because he is always on the go and traveling and told me he was sick of the lifestyle and he missed living in our home town where all our family and friends we grew up with live. I felt that he was so home sick that he got so drunk to avoid having to deal with leaving HOME. Since the day he left I was always telling him how much I missed him and how since he was unhappy with playing base ball he should just quit and come back to live in our home town and just find some other job. I now realize that all the pressure I was putting on him to quit his career drove him away. So he one day called and said he didnt want to have a comited relationship Long distance with me (at least not in the initial stages..since we had only been dating for about a month and talking for about six moths) and that he loved me but wasn't "in Love" . That he had just said that because he was confused. He said that we should remain friends and that when baseball season was over we could try dating and see where things went.
Basically he back tracked his way out He had every excuse under the sun. One thing he always mentioned was that he never got over me in highschool and that he was still resentful and afraid I would break his heart again as easily as I did back then. I always explained that I had grown up since then and that I was sorry for being immature and hurting his feelings. ( We are now 27years old) We were 17 when we dated in high school.
So basically I forced myself to be strong accepted the fact (did a lot of crying) and moved on. I started dating other people. Me and Brad stayed in constant contact and I was always honest about the men I was dating and that I had moved on but that he would always have a special place in my heart... Jealousy drove him crazy. Him seeing on FB and hearing through mutual friends and even myself that I had moved on and that I was enjoying my life and loving being single and simply loving life. He was no longer the center of my world and when I used to call him on a daily basis I was now going weeks with out speaking to him until he himself would call and ask why was I not talking to him anymore sounding all upset. I explained that I was moving on and that he was no longer my priority. He called a few days ago saying that he realized he was wrong and that he is in love with me and that he wants to have a relationship with me after all and that he misses me and my daughter and that he cant wait to come back Home in to town to see us. He said I am the most amazing woman & mother, that I am gorgeous and that I am everything he wants in a woman. But that he always felt I was out of his league and much smarter and better lookg than him. That he was really afraid to let his guard down in fear I would break his heart again.....Should I believe him....I am afraid to trust him with my heart and my feelings

[carl1222]

I feel for you both. Brad is in a very bad place here. He is tired of the rootless existence that comes with being a professional baseball player, but giving up the "dream career" of being a major league player is also a big loss. So he has two options ... neither good. Your somewhat cavalier suggestion that he just give up baseball and plant roots with you leads me to believe that you don't really comprehend the magnitude of that sacrifice.

He is very insecure concerning you. He made an excellent suggestion that you postpone moving forward with your relastionship until the off-season (just a few months away) so the two of you could see where things go without the stress of a long-distance relationship. You took his suggestion ... in part. But I'm sure your decision to also take this as an opportunity to enjoy the single life in the meanwhile just reconfirmed his fear that he was just an option for you, not a priority. Sounds a lot like 10 years ago.

You contacted him ... why?

Carl.