Completely confused

[Palindrome]

Hello all, I am completely confused how to read what is going on in my relationship. I thought I would try and seek some advice.

I had Been seeing my girlfriend for about nine months. She broke it off, I am devastated. I would do anything to win her heart back, and I told her as much. The thing is, she calls and texts me several times every day. She wants to go on walks almost every evening. She says this is just as friends, but this seems weird to me. Who wants to have that much contact with an ex, unless they want them back?

Honestly it kills me to see her just as a friend, I miss her gaze, and her touch. I am in pain when I am around her, but I don't want to lose any chance of reconciliation by not walking or talking when she wants to.

So do I continue to see her as friends? I really don't want to be friends, does that make any sense at all???

[shamandalie]

It sounds to me like she maybe broke it off cause she didn't have that much feelings for you but she's too used to having you around so she wants to keep it that way. You're her safety net and you should stop torturing yourself by doing what she wants in hopes of getting her back. She has no right to treat you this way. You need to let her go and start moving on with your life. If you keep going on like this you're just gonna make yourself miserable. Please stop seeing her, for your own good.

[Mike588]

Yes you need to let her go. I know it's so very hard to do that but you must. Staying friends just prolongs your misery.

Stop answering her calls,,, it's giving you false hope and again prolongs your healing process. I'm sure your aware of the no contact rule, if not there are plenty of posts about it. You MUST do the no contct rule for your own good, plus it will make her miss you,give her time to think things thru.

By being with her and calling her,, you receiving her calls it like your always there.

Tell her one last time how you feel, what you want then go NO CONTACT!!!!!! It's so tough but do it and stick with it, you maybe surprised what happens.

[devonbrown]

You two were in a relationship, so you are used to doing things together. So, even though she broke up with you, she still craves that time and companionship. And since you are the one she has had that with, she is still trying to have it. It will stop once she starts getting involved with someone else.

The fact is that she broke up with you, so I wouldn't even think about a reconciliation at this point. Whatever the reason for the breakup, that has to be completely resolved before you can even think about getting back together.

But if you do not want to be friends with her, then you need to tell her that. Tell her that you are not interested in just being friends and that you don't want to go on walks, etc. Go no contact with her and concentrate on yourself. It will be painful, but you need to work through the pain. Otherwise, you will just be stuck in the same thoughts over and over again.

Good luck.

[Andariel]

You can't be her friend while you still have feelings for her. This is detrimental to moving on and healing.

She can't have her cake and eat it too. If she doesn't want the relationship then she can't have the friendship because it suits her! Tell her you are not interested in being friends; ask her if she wants to be together again. If she says no or she says that she needs time to figure thigns out, then you will know it is over. Cut off all contact after that and move on with your life.Otherwise, she will use you for as long as it suits her and how are you going to feel once she finds a new boyfriend?

[jb1111983]

I hate this! Mate, tell her it's a relationship + friendship or no friendship at all.

[Palindrome]

I told her that I couldn't go on like this. That as much as I value any time I spend with her, I can no longer do it just to prolong the inevitable. I said that if the point is to try and reconcile, I would love to talk and walk, otherwise I have to let her go so I can move on. She agreed. An hour later she texted me asked if I wanted to go on a walk, so we can talk.

Hmmm...

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Ask her what she wants to talk about. If it's anything other than reconciling, tell her no thanks, and not to contact you at all anymore unless she wants to try again.

It looks like she might want to since she used your exact wording.

[devonbrown]

Just be cautious. Remember that you two broke up for a reason. Make sure that reason is resolved to both of your satisfactions.

Good luck.