Ramblin' Man

[Evo1114]

Yo.

So I need to know this once and for all. When I type a message...any type of message...about myself, I ramble HORRIBLY. Like if somebody asks me 'what kind of music do you like?', I will respond with a 3-page essay about what genres I like, what bands I like, what songs I like, what genres/bands/songs I DON'T like, a story about a concert I went to, a very detailed description of my attempts at playing music myself, stories about my friends' bands, etc., etc. Even a phone conversation or face-to-face I would probably do this if there were not distractions or other things stopping me.

For instance...just now I typed a message to my lady friend that took me probably an hour to finish typing and editing so that it didn't take an hour to read.

Is this a turn off? I've had chicks not respond after I send a novel on Online Dating sites..even when I go back and edit shit out, it is still really long...but girls who I know who are already interested never seem to mind at all..maybe because they are already expecting it. They will send me back a message that is a fraction of the size. Which certainly doesn't bother me...but makes me think something is seriously wrong with me.

So...as you can see, as I continue to ramble HERE...(to prove my point, I'm not going to go edit this)...is my rambling something I need to cure, or was I just born a Ramblin' Man and just need to try to make a livin' and try doin' the best I can?

[bloodtippedrose]

Rambling is a turn off. If I want to know your life story I will ask. Girls want you to ask about them.
Talking so much would only be fun if I was extremely into the guy and wanted to talk to him for hours on end. And even still Id want a little breathing room to talk myself.
Leave some air bubbles for responses

Edit: Oh thought you should know, Ive read your posts around here and you don't seem to ramble that much, you give nice advice. Maybe its not as bad as you think!

[KingZ]

[url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circumstantial_speech]Circumstantial speech - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/url]

Yes, communication disorders are a turn-off to just about anyone.

Unless, y'know, you're into that shit.

[Kyrina]

Starting with a YO is the biggest turn off, but no you dont ramble i think your shy and dont find yourself interesting enough so you send manuscripts in the hope that the other person may find something interesting about you.
However these manuscripts if broken up a bit and allow the other to get a word in are good for a long convo.Women do like you to elaborate about yourself but also like room to question too, but if your manuscript is in IM then not that good if its on a dating site with no immediate response then its not bad however cut down the tales on friends keep them for when you meet, this way you can make the woman laugh a little.If your going to meet you need something to talk about not already having said in your manuscripts.

[carl1222]

Here's a way you can practice ...

Compose your messages in your word processor program (it should give you a running word count). For short, one topic messages, revise until you are well under 100 words, for others, set a 200 word limit.

Concise writing is a skill. Work on it.

Stay on topic and don't ramble off on tangents!

(58 words)

[bulrush]

If a girl I'm emailing is rambling, it's a turn off. Likewise, if a person posts a question here, we really only need pertinent information, starting with the age of you and your mate/bf/gf. If I need details from a girl, I'll ask.

[vampiress]

Honestly, I find your "ramble" entertaining. It's part of your character and I don't think you should change it. But that's my personal opinion.

[bulrush]

In face-to-face conversation, there's a difference between rambling and dominating a conversation. Rambling is fine, and girls like to hear that guys can carry on a conversation. Dominating a convo is bad though. A convo is 2-sided, and both people like to comment on the other's stories.

However, in an email I prefer more brief but relevant answers. Sometimes I am too busy to read long answers. So, you might continue to ramble a bit, but try to make sure the other person gets in some words too.

[devonbrown]

There is nothing wrong with expanding on a thought, but everything has a time and place. The entire world does not have to be in Twitter bites. But you need to keep working on balance.

I think a lot of people from online dating sites would see it as a bit of a turn-off, or at least a red flag. As was stated earlier, people want you to be interested in them, not try to sell yourself so hard. I think it may come off as a bit desperate if you go on and on and on and on and on about yourself.

But keep conscious of it, and you should be able to edit yourself as you go.

Good luck.

[Evo1114]

Thanks for the responses. Kind of a mixture of opinions. I haven't found out yet if my rambling blew anything because I guess, according to my friend, she has been sick and has not been on her computer the last few days because being sick as a personal trainer is not good. I'm not too scared. My rambling was very on topic, and it's not like I just talked about myself the whole email without getting her involved. Just probably could have cut down on 2 paragraphs pertaining to music and my diabetes. My 2 biggest rambling problem subjects. Just unfortunate she brought those 2 subjects up in the same message. I think I kept it entertaining at least. Wasn't just boring ramble...threw some good humor in there to make it a worthwhile read. And it was like email #10, not like my first email to her. The first several were more about her than me. I know what I'm doing, I just slip up with certain subjects. Now I'm just more worried about including my phone number in there after my friend told me she is really shy and could easily be frightened back under her rock. I don't normally do that, but I figured it was better than me asking for hers and having her freak out worrying about when I might randomly call her. Guess we shall see.