Need confirmation of what I already think is true.

[stupidfool]

So! I am separated after 18 years of marriage. No chance of reconciliation. Joined an online dating site. Met a man. We had instant chemistry and had sex on the second day we knew each other. We have shared interests and enjoy spending time together. However, he has told me twice that he doesn't want to be "more than friends". So we decide not to see each other anymore. Both times he contacts me after about a week. We go out as friends only. Then he starts coming on to me. I hold him off for a few days, we talk, then I give in and it's great. We spent the whole weekend together this weekend. Were supposed to get together tonight again to watch a game on TV. I get that weird feeling that he is about to back off from me again when he says that his "throat hurts" and "let's play it by ear about tonight".

I thought all along that he really just wants his family back. I know I should leave him alone, ask him not to call me anymore, but I really like him. I am a stupid fool for allowing this to happen.

[HeartIsAching]

Dunno about his family, but what he's managed is to turn you into a FWB.

You're not going to get a relationship out of him. At best it's going to be casual sex every now and then. If you're ok with that then fine, but if you go into this expecting it to turn into a relationship, you're on the way to disappointment.

[surfhb]

From a guy.....confirmed!

[Wakeup]

However, he has told me twice that he doesn't want to be "more than friends".

However, he has told me twice that he doesn't want to be "more than friends".

However, he has told me twice that he doesn't want to be "more than friends".

However, he has told me twice that he doesn't want to be "more than friends".

However, he has told me twice that he doesn't want to be "more than friends".

However, he has told me twice that he doesn't want to be "more than friends".

Read that and maybe it will sink in that he doesn't want to be more than friends. If you cut off the sex then he'll no longer be your friend.

If you can't distance yourself emotionally from him then don't see him anymore. You're trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. He just wants sex and a bit of your company.. he likely has two or three just like you hanging around saying "but I like him."

You don't have to be a guy to confirm what Heartisaching posted. You know it yourself but you're grasping at straws in order to try and hear what it is you want to hear or, you're here to get the push you need to end this for good with him. I don't think you're able to be in a casual sexual relationship so why are you being in one?

P.S. Men like him, who don't want to be "more than friends" prey on women who are separated and on a dating site. They know you're horny, vulnerable and lonely and you're easy to "just be friends" with. Think about his actions and the red flags you ignored so you don't fall for another just like him. Pay attention when a man says he doesn't want to be in a relationship. Men who say that mean they don't want to be in a relationship but they'll take what you offer if you offer it. They will test you and If you don't offer it, then they don't want to be your friend.

[stupidfool]

Ok. Thanks. I am lonely. Need to start from a better place next time.

[Mona_B]

Yes, if a man says "let's only be friends", you can believe him. It is funny - I fell in the same trap - that women tend to interpret more in things as there is instead of taking a guy by his word. I wouldn't say he is "preying" because he was honest about what he wants, you were the one who wasn't honest to him or yourself. Preying would be if he pretends to look for a relationship in order to get sex. So next time just listen what the man is really telling you. Or tell him what you want before anything happens instead of hoping, he will change his mind...

[Wakeup]

Preying would be if he pretends to look for a relationship in order to get sex.

Op has learned a lesson (I think) about listening to what is being said. but "Preying" on someone doesn't just mean someone who is being disingenuous.

These men I refer to use dating sites as their main means of scoring, they have no intentions of being in any type of relationship and they target women they know will be easy to pull... such as separated women who haven't yet processed the end of their relationship, are likely lonely, need an ego boost and are hopeful and naive from being out of the dating scene for so long.

[PainfulLonging]

Tell him, I do not want to be your friend. I want and deserve a romantic relationship and a man who cares deeply about me. Go **** yourself!