What does he want from me?

[iamminzy]

I don't know what he wants from me. Ok we made out and yea he gets really horny whenever I am near him. He apologizes and tries very hard to control himself. Maybe i am irresistible who knows. Anyways he always ask me to hang out with him and it usually at his place watching tv. I am trying to not go to his place that much because we both know what will happen. He said it never really been that way with other girls, who knows.

It's just frustrating because I like him, but he's not taking initiation even though we keep flirting and seem like a couple and everything. He asked me if I was looking for a boyfriend and I said iono because I don't know if he wants the same thing or he just wondering if I was looking for a boyfriend. He said that we should just be friends, but then again he's giving me mix signals at the same time. When I told him this guy asked me out, I'm pretty sure he got jealous. When I told him I was gonna go out now, he automatically asked me if I was going out with that guy. I asked him do you want me to go out with that guy? and he said haha not really, but then later he tells me that I should just hang out with him and I don't know what he wants! I know he may feel intimidated that I get hit on by so many guys, but I like him not the other dudes. I even told him that I make excuses when to certain guys when i don't wanna go out with them. I been giving him signs saying that since no one else asked me out, then I might as well go out with that guy. He asked me if I was hinting him to ask me out and said maybe haha.. I don't wanna give him a direct answer because I don't know what he wants from me at least. he likes to hang out with me, but... at the same time, it's like he's holding back. he said he doesn't wanna hurt me or make me feel sad, or confine me and says I'm free... meaning to do w/e I want. he said it doesn't matter to him if I go out with the guy and it's my choice, n that I shouldn't let him hold me back.

What does he want from me? Does he like me? is he scared? ahh!

[Andariel]

He asked me if I was looking for a boyfriend and I said iono because I don't know if he wants the same thing or he just wondering if I was looking for a boyfriend.

He asked me if I was hinting him to ask me out and said maybe haha.. I don't wanna give him a direct answer because I don't know what he wants from me at least. he likes to hang out with me

This is what you are doing wrong and why you are now in a situation where you don't know where things are headed with him.

When someone asks you if you are looking for a bf and you are, then you should just say so. Pretending you are cool with being friends with benefits or just friends when in fact you are looking for a relationship is a huge mistake and one that can't be rectified once you get into the FWB or friend zone. There is nothing wrong with telling a guy what you want; the healthy approach to relationships is being honest and not pretending to be something you are not. If he doesn't want the same thing then he is just going to tell you and then you can move on. Lying about what you want and hoping that the guy might change his mind about wanting a relationship with you down the line is only going to prolong the inevitable and is certainly not going to make him change what he truly wants. It will only get you in situations like this one where you don't know where you stand and whether this could evolve into a relationship.

[iamminzy]

hmm i don't know if he likes me or not or want a girlfriend. I asked him if he wants a girlfriend and he said he doesn't know and said maybe if he found the right one. He also said that he's not good in relationships and not sure if I want to be with a perverted guy like him. he asked me if I was looking for a boyfriend and I said I would like to...

I don't know if he really likes me or not and I'm getting confused...

[nerdy_guy]

I don't think he's ready emotionally. I think he's just going for something physical. That is why he wants you around, to satisfy his "horny needs".

I asked him if he wants a girlfriend and he said he doesn't know and said maybe if he found the right one.

This means you're not the right one for a girlfriend. You're just the right one for having fun.

[searock]

I agree with Andariel, you should speak clearly to him. Either he wants you as a girlfriend or not, and since it doesn't seem like he's going to take the initiative in one way or the other, it's gonna be up to you to figure out what he feels. And the only way you can do that, is to openly talk to him. "Do you like me?" "Would you go on a date with me?" etc.

[trishabcarson]

hi .... might he is thinking if you would get in relation than your friendship will die... this could be the major reason for his no to love... because this situation is similar to my situation.. try to say him if we would bf and gf than you people will enjoy more but you will remain my friend first than my bf....

[iamminzy]

@ nerdy guy... well what you said may be true, but then he told me that he will try to control himself but someone he couldn't. But we talked it over and I aaked him if he was looking for a girlfriend and at that moment he told me that this time he's going to really try to control himself. I went to a concert with him yesterday and he controlled himself. He just stood behind me and slightly wrap his arms around my waist and he held on my hand. He stood really close behind me and put his head on top of my head haha...

We probably won't be doing anything physical at the moment, but I really want to tell him how I feel but I am scared I will be shot down because he is probably not ready though he been asking me if I want to date or want a boyfriend. he even asked me if he took me out to dinner would that sound like a date... what does this mean?

I even asked him if he wants me to go out with this guy and he said not really.... but he is allowing me to do what I want... I been sending him hints and stuff... I guess it's best for us to remain as friends for now...

[nerdy_guy]

he been asking me if I want to date or want a boyfriend. he even asked me if he took me out to dinner would that sound like a date... what does this mean?

That means he's too chicken and childish to just ask you out on a date. If you think about it, asking someone out in this manner and getting turned down would be less hurtful compared to "Hey, I'd like to ask you out on a date" and he get's a "I'm sorry, it's not me, its you" type of answer. By asking it that way, if you turn him down on a "dinner meal" for whatever reason, he could still tell himself "No big deal, its not like I asked her out on a date anyway"

I even asked him if he wants me to go out with this guy and he said not really

This could mean 2 things, either he's thinking of taking the relationship forward, or he just doesn't want to share his toy.

[iamminzy]

Well anyways he said that he;s not good at commitment and he kinda knows how I feel about him. Anyways I ain't gonna worry about it too much. I said whAT i had to say, and if i guess he's not that into me. He says hes not really a player, but I guess I'll just see what happens and we will just remain as friends, but I am not going to be his sex buddy. he doesn't want to hurt me if we do get into a relationship and he has a handful of girlfriends and I have a handful of guy friends..

I think we're both the same. I mean I'm not very good at commitment either haha because once i get bored of them, i feel uninterested. I have more guy friends than girl friends and he knows that and he knows that a lot of guys have been hitting on me. If I'm not in relationship, I like to hang out with other guys and even if i'm in a relationship I still feel the urge to go clubbing and dance with guys and have them hit on me.... I guess because we're both still young and not at that commitment stage.

Btw I have lots of guy friends not because I am a player, but because I'm sorta like a tomboy. I like to play video games and sports and dress in sweatshirts n jeans, t-shirts. not very girly. I am semi-girly/boyish. And i guess this is why guys likes to hang out with me cuz I act like them and I look cute. =/

[nerdy_guy]

Glad you figured things out. And yeah, a bit of a tomboy is always nice. I mean what's not to like? a gf and a buddy in one? cool!

[iamminzy]

haha that's why guys like to hang out with me cuz i have a good personality and I like what they like... not to mention i like cars too =P hah