songs that women listen to

[bombboy85]

So this may sound strange but I was wondering how much stock can be put into songs a woman listens to... or for example "likes" on youtube or posts on their facebook. Is it just coincidence if it's a song about a lost love etc.... or could that be not over an old boyfriend something like that?

[MissMiji]

Sometimes, yes. It can absolutely be because that song reminds us of an ex or a hookup or whatever. Personally, though, I just like what sounds good and makes me feel good while I listen to it! My current favorite song is Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5, and I just like it because I can dance like an idiot and get away with it.

[bombboy85]

I hear ya on the just listening to what sounds good I agree. I dont know I guess I ask because its something that has been on my mind not in a bad way necessarily. A little backstory I suppose my wife dated a guy that she has told me she loved but didn't tell him cause she realized it about the time he got orders to deploy and then broke up with her. She was upset about it and wanted him back for a while, he basically turned into a dick about things said he never felt anything for her was just dating etc... but never told her why he lied about maybe they would get back together when he got back. The day before she met me she went to his place to get a set of tires for her truck that were still at his place and he invited her to have a beer then ended up talking on the phone for about an hour with the girl he was dating at the time she got pissed cause he was rude and left. She mostly only had bad things to say about him now, and once when we were out eating she thought she saw him and kinda got that rush of blood, dizzy feeling ya do sometimes when you see someone that has a major effect on you. Every so often she posts a link to a song on her facebook and the songs are about how hard it is, or remembering times yadda yadda. I know this is really a subject that is best left alone unless she brings it up but for a while I've had the feeling she isn't completely over him or is still seeking closure deep down. I know in her old phone his number was still in there but not sure about her new phone I dont look through it, she had a picture of them buried in a box in her room but has cut him out of other pictures that were his daughter with him in them, and she still has a key to his house that he had given her. She also snoops his facebook profile but then again she does look that with a lot of people just out of curiosity.

SOrry about the wall of text just on my mind today.

oh and not saying all this cause I'm worried about her going back to him or nothing just thinking out loud seeing if anyone agrees

[MissMiji]

I hear ya on the just listening to what sounds good I agree. I dont know I guess I ask because its something that has been on my mind not in a bad way necessarily. A little backstory I suppose my wife dated a guy that she has told me she loved but didn't tell him cause she realized it about the time he got orders to deploy and then broke up with her. She was upset about it and wanted him back for a while, he basically turned into a dick about things said he never felt anything for her was just dating etc... but never told her why he lied about maybe they would get back together when he got back. The day before she met me she went to his place to get a set of tires for her truck that were still at his place and he invited her to have a beer then ended up talking on the phone for about an hour with the girl he was dating at the time she got pissed cause he was rude and left. She mostly only had bad things to say about him now, and once when we were out eating she thought she saw him and kinda got that rush of blood, dizzy feeling ya do sometimes when you see someone that has a major effect on you. Every so often she posts a link to a song on her facebook and the songs are about how hard it is, or remembering times yadda yadda. I know this is really a subject that is best left alone unless she brings it up but for a while I've had the feeling she isn't completely over him or is still seeking closure deep down. I know in her old phone his number was still in there but not sure about her new phone I dont look through it, she had a picture of them buried in a box in her room but has cut him out of other pictures that were his daughter with him in them, and she still has a key to his house that he had given her. She also snoops his facebook profile but then again she does look that with a lot of people just out of curiosity.

SOrry about the wall of text just on my mind today.

oh and not saying all this cause I'm worried about her going back to him or nothing just thinking out loud seeing if anyone agrees

It sounds like this is something that is really stressing you out, man. I mean, yeah, I'll totally admit to listening to stuff when I'm in a certain mood and I do have songs that I avoid now because of my ex. We dated/were best friends for 4 years, and he knew me so well. Every time I'd listen to a certain type of music he'd crawl into bed with me and take my headphones out of my ears and ask me what was up. I'd fight him on talking about it, but he always knew there was something going on in my mind. I use this example because I think you could bring it up in conversation the next time your wife posts up something or you see her get into that sort of mood. It doesn't have to be "Hey wifey! I see you posted up a depressing song about bringing back the old days on your Facebook!! What's goin' on?" It can be as simple as "You know, you seem like you're in a low mood lately. Is there anything you'd like to talk about?"



[This doesn't go for all women, this next statement, but it does certainly go for some.] Sometimes women vent without using our words because we want you to be able to tell that something is going on. Music, for anyone, is often a way to look at someone's mood and be able to tell, oh, okay this person is not feeling good today. So, perhaps this is what your wife is doing? I don't know her, obviously, but perhaps this could be something you pay a little more attention to in the future to see if what I'm saying describes her. For me, I stay away from my ex and mine's "song," but it plays on the radio sometimes and every time I hear it it just breaks my heart. I'm 21, and 4 years for me to date someone is a super long time, so as silly as it may seem it had a big impact.




But, bro really. It seems like this is genuinely bothering you. If you want the advice of a 21 year old, just talk to her. It can't hurt to see what's up, because she may be waiting for you to bring it up first.

[bombboy85]

I don't know its hard to explain. It's on my mind today but in a couple of days it will be forgotten because that's how my mind works, it doesn't bother me in a stressful way at all. It's more of me thinking if it's closure that she needs deep down (and I could easily see that the way it ended for them) I hope she gets it because that would only make things better for me and her and they are already good. It does bother when I really think hard about it and think when she is home and lonely (long distance relationship plus I'm deployed right now) that these songs mean more than just songs she likes. I did ask once about one song and she told me its a song she would like to do a cover of someday if she ever has time to start working on playing guitar and singing again and a lot of these songs she posts she has mentioned something similar.

[MissMiji]

I don't know its hard to explain. It's on my mind today but in a couple of days it will be forgotten because that's how my mind works, it doesn't bother me in a stressful way at all. It's more of me thinking if it's closure that she needs deep down (and I could easily see that the way it ended for them) I hope she gets it because that would only make things better for me and her and they are already good. It does bother when I really think hard about it and think when she is home and lonely (long distance relationship plus I'm deployed right now) that these songs mean more than just songs she likes. I did ask once about one song and she told me its a song she would like to do a cover of someday if she ever has time to start working on playing guitar and singing again and a lot of these songs she posts she has mentioned something similar.

I see, then. I mean, especially if you're deployed just try and keep your head about you man. My uncle has been gone for nearly a year (he comes home for good in December) and I know my aunt has trouble, I can't even imagine how hard that is for the both of you. But, you know, if she's told you that sort of thing, I'd say take it for what it's worth. It could be that she honestly just likes those songs and wants to do covers! I suppose I read to much into it.



Be safe, and thank you!

[bombboy85]

thank you for the advice, next time she posts something like that up I'll bring it up casually and make sure to let her know that if she still thinks about that relationship etc it wont bother me as long as its not thoughts of I wish I still had him instead of me ya know.

[MissMiji]

Right! I totally understand that. I hope it goes well, bro. I'm sure it will! If you ever need any advice feel free to PM me. Be safe!

[bombboy85]

well it got a little interesting tonight, he added her as a friend on facebook at least she says he sent it not her. She had told me last week that she had messaged him on facebook and multiple people she hadnt talked to in a while looking for help moving into the new house and she said he responded with "ha" because of how far it was from him... then today she told me that she was still waiting for him to come by and help fix some things at the new place and I was like umm you didnt tell me that but she swares she did. I told her I would have remembered that but whatever. I just told her I was uncomfortable with it for the reasons I put above and she says not to worry nothing is gonna happen which I believe.