I've been divorced 2 years. I feel nothing for my gf. WTF is wrong with me.

[feelnothing]

I was married for 8 years to an amazing girl and had the best time of my life, but I neglected the relationship and she divorced me, cut me off, and will not speak to me. I spent a few months alone, and met my current girlfriend. We fight often, mainly over the same thing.

She says she doesn't feel loved, and she needs "more" from me. But I don't really feel anything. I feel like the romantic/loving part of my brain is dead. I appreciate her, and I care about her happiness, but I don't really care if I am with her. I have been dating her for almost 2 years now. What should I do? It feels like I had the absolute love of my life.. and now I'm just... existing. How long should I wait around feeling like this before I either cut it off with my current gf, or what? I feel like a complete asshole for feeling nothing...

[nerdy_guy]

Based on what you said, I guess, is that first you have to fix that common problem both your ex and your current gf is complaining. If you don't really care about fixing it, then it means you don't really care about her at all. It's better you look for someone that would make you a better man. I guess from there, you'll start to regain that romantic/loving part of your brain that you speak of.

[lovelysoul]

personally i don't think its love, you can care for someone so much but there should be something more if its love.
because if it is love, you wont feel the way u do

[Incognito]

Based on what you said, I guess, is that first you have to fix that common problem both your ex and your current gf is complaining. If you don't really care about fixing it, then it means you don't really care about her at all. It's better you look for someone that would make you a better man. I guess from there, you'll start to regain that romantic/loving part of your brain that you speak of.

Sorry, this is wrong nerdy_guy. No one [else] makes you a better man. You have to do that yourself.

Second, feelnothing, you are being a huge douche. Why? Because you lazily let a supposedly great eight year relationship slip away, and you are now absolutely WASTING this other woman's time. Two years while you felt nothing for her, and you are still pondering whether to break it off or not? WTF man? WTF? Let me spell it out for you.... YES, break it off. Stop wasting her time. Don't date anyone else for a long time and either read a few books on how to be emotionally involved in a relationship, or (if you really care about solving this issue so that it doesn't come up in future relationships) seek counseling about it.

[nerdy_guy]

Sorry, this is wrong nerdy_guy. No one [else] makes you a better man. You have to do that yourself.

Yeah, no one can make you. But someone can inspire you

[Incognito]

Yes, but in order for that to happen you already have to be a reasonably decent man. THEN a woman can inspire you to be even better. You can't rely on someone to influence your [first] step into self improvement.

[bulrush]

If your heart is closed up too much, you won't feel loved, and you won't feel like giving love. You have to open your heart before you can love someone. And before you can open your heart, you must deal with any emotional pain, often from your past.

For now, fake it until you make it. Do more of what she wants. But if she expects you to read her mind, and won't work with you, dump her. She will never communicate clearly, and that kills many relationships. Just my opionion. I really cannot deal with women who are horrible at communication and expect men to read their minds.

[Incognito]

^^^ Did you even read his posts? He says that he has no feelings for his current girlfriend, yet has wasted two years of her life in this "relationship".

[Belle13]

Try to talk and try to fix your problem with you ex, it maybe that you don't have a closure in your relationship that is why you can't feel the love anymore. Try to move on first before engaging a relationship to someone cause you will end up comparing her to your ex...and you can hurt your present gf so much

[Wakeup]

I think you should work on yourself, Op. Learn to live alone and be happy in your own skin. You seem to rely on other people (woman) to make you happy, you seem to have a pattern of not appreciating them and or taking them for granted when you have them as well.
Work on yourself, get some interests, join an amature sports league, get something going that you're passionate about. I agree that you should leave her if you don't even like her for goodness sake, you're wasting some good lovin years stagnating there in your apathy.

[Incognito]

I have a feeling this was a troll thread. The OP only posted one post here (this thread) and hasn't even commented on it.