New relationship, 1 month overseas holiday pending:(

[lollipoppi]

I am in a new relationship, I think I'm falling in love. It's only been 2 months. I have very strong feelings for this man and feel like we have a super strong connection. I booked a holiday to India a few months before I met him and will be leaving in 6 weeks.

The history thus far… We met on a dating website. I’ve been in a number of long term relationships (the longest being 13 years), I’ve chosen to not have children with any of these men, as I haven’t felt ready/mature enough and have been unsure about them as prospective parents (maturity levels, sense of responsibility etc). He on the other hand has only had one longish relationship (being 1.5 years) and a lot of short term liaisons with numerous women, so a history as a bit of player. He’s 41, I’m 39. He says he is ready to settle down and have children and has come to the conclusion that he ‘no longer’ in his exact words ‘wants to be a lone wolf’. He says he’s falling in love with me. The sex is amazing. He has questioned me quite intensely about whether I want children. He has a very well paid job and owns his own apartment. As he has stated he would be a very good provider. This man really wants to settle down. I can’t help but question this intense wish for a family, is it a family he wants only, or does he want me as well? Hopefully both, as I think I’m ready and think he could be the right person for me. I’m also scared of his past and worry that he may grow bored with me if I do have children and cheat on me, women’s bodies change and children tend to become a priority, this is not sexy to most guys. Oh to have a crystal ball!

Anyway to get to the heart of the matter, he’s asked me to cancel my trip to India and go instead with him to Bali. I checked into whether I could get a refund on my flights, unfortunately I can’t. I’ve also booked accommodation and would lose money on this as well. If I cancelled now I would be out of pocket over $1,000.00. I have told him I cannot afford to cancel at this stage, I work in the community sector and am on a rather humble income and this is a lot of money to me, this I explained to him. Plus the additional cost of paying for a trip to Bali. Just not do-able. I suggested that he come with me to India. He said he is not interested in travelling to India making lots 'mildly amusing' cracks about poverty and dysentery. I understand that India is not an appealing travel destination for everyone, so kind of get it. I’m really going to miss this man and am fearful of losing what we have. I think if he offered to cover the cost of my trip to Bali or pay for the lost expenses, I would be open to compromise, but no such offer as yet has been made... What does this all mean?

I guess my question is how to work this out with him, how to talk about it, the topic is becoming more and more uncomfortable as my departure looms? A month without seeing him seems like an awfully long time. I think we both feel the same way? Any suggestions?