Ex-Girlfriend Bounceback

[stevo032]

Hey Guys,

I have a question on what I should do in my current situation regarding my ex girlfriend.

So, a little back story here. We dated for 4 years, straight out of High School, we moved in together in a different state. She dumped me 4 months back, needed more space, etc. So, she moved out, and right away moved in with/ started dating another guy, and still is. Strangely, after all this, she still wanted to stay friends with me. I tried this for awhile, acted purely platonic for a few weeks, we hung out, acted like nothing ever happened. Eventually I decided it was just too much for me emotionally; I couldn't see her as just a friend.(Also she would constantly beg me for money.) But anyways, about 2 months ago, I told her in a nice way that I no longer want to see her, nor keep contact with her. She seemed confused, but agreed.

So here I am, thought I'd wiped my hands clean... but, apparently, she didn't think I was serious. For the past few days, she has been trying to text me, call me, fb me; to none of which I respond. She left me a very mopey voicemail today in which she mentioned she, "missed me" and "wants to get dinner sometime", "wants to see how I am doing"... Honestly, I want nothing to do with her at all! Not out of hatred-- I just don't see the point of us keeping contact.

I'm not sure whether I should feel bad for outright ignoring her attempts to contact me, but I don't think reminding her that I STILL don't want to be friends will help.

So my question is: Should I respond to her bickering? Or should I just keep on with the silent treatment?


There's a lot more detail to the story, so if you have any questions, let me know.

-Steve

[elny1]

Tell her you understand where she's coming from, but right now you aren't interested in associating with her. If a day comes where you feel you want to be friends with her, you will contact her. Tell her to take care of herself.


Be polite, honest, and a gentleman.

[searock]

I agree, you should answer her and politely repeat to her that you haven't changed your stance on not being in touch with each other. Explain your reasons and tell her you won't answer anymore, and that if someday you will be interested in getting in touch again, you'll make the first move. After that, don't answer anymore even if she attempts to talk to you further.

[Andariel]

She is doing what a lot of people think they ar entitled to do after leaving someone: she wants to have her cake and eat it too and now that you are not willing to give her that her ego is hurt and will do anything to suck you back into her drama.

You did the best thing for yourself when you decided to go No Contact.What is the point of seeing her and still being in touch when this only hurts you? You made it clear you can't be friends and quite rightly so.You have every right to do that and she ought to have respected your decision just as you respected her decision to leave and move on with someone else. Her behaviour is disrespectful towards you and you should be proud of yourself for being mature enough and for caring/respecting yourself enough to cut off all contact with her.This is not spiteful on your part; it is a survival technique.

No point is responding to her to tell her what you have already explained in the past but she just chose to disregard because it suits her. Block her number so she can't text you, defriend and block her from FB, block her email address.This way you won't have to deal with her trying to guilt-trip you into a 'friendship' with her. Stick to No Contact so that you can heal faster.Allowing her back into your life in any shape or form will only result in her hurting you even more while she feels totally content at the expense of your emotional health and sanity.

[ironmn43]

She is doing what a lot of people think they ar entitled to do after leaving someone: she wants to have her cake and eat it too and now that you are not willing to give her that her ego is hurt and will do anything to suck you back into her drama.

You did the best thing for yourself when you decided to go No Contact.What is the point of seeing her and still being in touch when this only hurts you? You made it clear you can't be friends and quite rightly so.You have every right to do that and she ought to have respected your decision just as you respected her decision to leave and move on with someone else. Her behaviour is disrespectful towards you and you should be proud of yourself for being mature enough and for caring/respecting yourself enough to cut off all contact with her.This is not spiteful on your part; it is a survival technique.

No point is responding to her to tell her what you have already explained in the past but she just chose to disregard because it suits her. Block her number so she can't text you, defriend and block her from FB, block her email address.This way you won't have to deal with her trying to guilt-trip you into a 'friendship' with her. Stick to No Contact so that you can heal faster.Allowing her back into your life in any shape or form will only result in her hurting you even more while she feels totally content at the expense of your emotional health and sanity.

Good advice, but I think blocking is a bit extreme. I dont like it when people just stop talking and dont reply back. Its better you tell her clearly and mention that you wont be able to reply...so that you are not tempted to reply back.

[bloodtippedrose]

I would not contact her at all. Its not rude, or impolite, you already told her that you are cutting off ties. Contacting her now to say no is starting it all over again and it will eventually lead to a fight.
Ive been on both sides of this coin.


@Andariel: you are a serious guru. There is nothing you say that I don't agree with, Im in complete awe

[searock]

@Andariel: you are a serious guru. There is nothing you say that I don't agree with, Im in complete awe

Haha, happens to me as well