Some post break-up advice pretty please.

[ixi]

My name is Carmen,and I am 22 years old.I was involved with my Ex for a year,and as relationships went,it was close to perfection.
However,he is 29,and wanted more from me than what I could have given him, i.e marriage and children.I am not ready for such a commitment,but he is more than ready,he wants it SOON,and has made it pretty clear as time went by.
Knowing that neither will be happy stuck in a relationship that wasn't giving us both what we wanted,we decided to end it,and stay friends.
So farr so good,right?It's what 2 adult persons would do in this situation.I thought so too.
As it turns out,3 days after we broke up,he hooked up with another chick.She was an old friend from his old town,and I knew they kept in touch.It seemed pretty odd that it happened after 3 days,but he reassured me he didn't cheat,and didn't break up with me because she came in the picture.I REALLY want to believe this.
She already has a daughter,so,yay kids for him.
At first,I was happy for him.But then, after their alleged first weekend together,I went by his place to pickup some things that belonged to me.And he had already replaced my toothbrush,and shower gell.
Which made me realise,he moved on TOO fast.
I dont know if I`m explaining it well,or if someone will even have the patience to read.
I fear that he never cared for me like I have for him, seeing as I am unable to get over it.And the strange part is,that as time goes by,and they seem to get more involved,it hurts more.I fear that the whole fantastic year,was just in my head.

Now to get to the point,it hurts.It hurts knowing they are together every weekend.It hurts knowing she can give him what he wants.Because to be honest,some part of me always hoped he would fall for me hard enough to wait till I was ready for all of that.Ofc I know it would have been unfair,but I couldnt help it.And it hurts most of all,because he calls me every day to see what i`m doing.We also see eachother about 3 times a week,Part of that whole still being friends thing.
My question is,should I stop all contact with him untill I stop hurting?Will it make it harder,or easier?Will I move on faster by pretending i'm his friend,or by ceasing all contact for at least a while.

I know that feeling all this is normal,and that it will pass.I am in no way stuck in this place and mindset.I just want it to happen sooner rather than later,because being depressed sucks to be honest.


Thank you in advance!

[mwahahaha]

Probably a good idea to avoid this dude for while, at least until its a little less raw for you. The whole "lets just be friends " thing is not always a good idea, especially, if you still have feelings for the person. Suggest to him that you dont meet for a while and try occupy your time with a new hobby or reconnect with some old friends. Enjoy your freedom while you are young. No point in worrying over things that you have no control over. He does seem to havemoved on a little too quickly, and i would suggest that you do the same. In a years time you will have met someone new and wonder why you got so stressed about this. Maybe even then you will be friends with him again, and both be happier as individuals rather than as a couple. hope this helps.

[smackie9]

Staying friends is a load of crap. What the hell would you ever gain from that kind of arrangement....so you can catch up on how happy he is to be with someone else?

Tip: It's best to date someone closer to your age for obvious reasons. Secondly, if you start to see a relationship going somewhere, discuss your relationship expectations before investing your time and feelings. It's best to find someone who has the same goals and has a lot in common with you. You can't fall in love and throw caution into the wind......you are being too unrealistic.

[sammsb]

Hi , my advice is that first you have to calm yourself down and avoid contact with him for awhile (prove him that you can live happily without him). I am wondering why is he calling you everyday and meeting 3 times a week ? to make you feel jealous and hurtful ? or trying to see if you still have feelings for him ? another question is to ask yourself : Do you want to get him back or move on with life ? your ex boyfriend might be in a rebound relationship right now ...