Help!! Advice needed...

[myth1002]

Hi

Ok so try and keep this as brief as possible!

There is a girl I have known for a while, she plays sports at my social club. Now I was never really friends with her but always said hello etc. Anyway about a year ago she started just randomly texting me asking how I was etc. I was always just polite replied and just thought she was being friendly.

And that's all it stayed as, anyway we started chatting a little more and kept it friendly, id go round hers have a beer and a chat. So I decided to ask her out. She didn't really say no, but basically brushed it off, then things dropped off for bit.

After about 6 weeks she started texting again. then there was like a big week tournament down and we pretty much spent all week together, me going over all the time. So we started hanging out a lot, then all of us from the social club ended up going out and she came out as well. All night we mainly spent it together and everyone was saying how much chemistry and flirting was going on. Later on in the night we started holding hands but we never kissed, just had a good night.

Then nothing was really said about it, we just carried on hanging out, and more and more people started commenting and asking whats going on. I then went away for 4 days, when I got back she text me so I went to see her, she said how much she had missed me and invited me over to her local and said I could stay over her mums. We had a good night, held hands again and she gave me a kiss when I went to bed ( slept in separate rooms ) then the next day, I said I had to go to do some work, but she wanted to spend the day with me. So we ended up doing so.

Now she has gone back to college, so I don't see her as much, but since then her mum has invited me over to have dinner with them, plus i have taken her to meet my mum/dad. And her mum/step dad are taking a lot more interest in me, talking to me all the time and asking if I'm seeing her.

Now, the thing is at the moment we are friends. To start with that's all it was, but the more time I spend with her, the more I am liking her and want more. Now I can only assume from the signs she wants the same? But at the same time if she only wants a friendship I don't think I can carry on this way as it feels too much like a relationship, with her mum inviting me over, and us holding hands and flirting all the time, to the point where people are questioning or assuming we are going out.

I just don't know how to play this, I am older than her, but from her initial reaction a while back I assumed she didn't see me in that way, but recently I have started to think she might have developed feelings for me, but she seems confused by them.

Is it possible for people to become attracted to someone the more they spend time together, or is whole situation just a good friendship?

This was much longer than I thought, sorry :p

[nestorz]

It seems to me she's looking at you as a brother/female friend.

Spending whole days together, talking with parents, holding hands but no kissing or intimacy? It doesn't seem like she's crazy for you in a sexual way.

Or maybe she's just weird and doesn't do intimate things, but I doubt that.

Classic friend zone.

[Cerby]

I've found that attraction actually falls off the more time you spend together but not dating. You become friends and start to see someone like that, as just a friend.

Sure, things can happen down the line, but the sooner you act on your feelings the better. When she brushed you off asking her out you should have gone for a more concrete answer, instead you're stuck in limbo with no clue on how to get the ball rolling.

At this point in time, I'd recommend the next time you're alone with her you tell her what you want and how you feel. Believe it or not, you have nothing to lose. If you think you're at risk of losing a friend, its just a cop out because friends don't have romantic feelings for other friends.

[myth1002]

Thanks for the advice.

Well she has said she is a virgin, maybe she is just a little unsure?

Also we have kissed and cuddled and the sofa etc. So we have done intimate things.

I agree the best thing to do is have a talk with her about it see how things go, because I don't want to spend this much time with someone as just friends, especially now I am falling for her.

It must be a man thing, because to start with I was never interested at all, now the more time I spend with her, the more I want to be with her!!