Advice needed

[cyborgguineapig]

Okay so there ins't really a "pick up tips" section on these forums, only dating, kissing and sex related subforums unless I'm missing something but here goes with my question. So This new quarter at school I've noticed a whole lot more new gals walking around and today I was in the lounge where only the geeks and freaks usually frequent too and up walks in a nice gal who sits down all by herself and seems lonely, obviously a new student. I thought it was the perfect opportunity and I made the initial move to sit in the empty seat next to her. I had sooo much time to start up a conversation with her but I just didn't go for it.

I was going to turn around and start it off pretty cheesy by asking whether it was her first quarter and ask for her name and I tell her mine. Then I probably would have asked what major she was and such but honestly after that, I'd probably be in a blank in what to do next. I think that was what turned me down from attempting to conversate with her. I let her sit there 2 feet from me for at least 5 minutes while she stared around the room completely bored and I let the opportunity slip me by.

Looking for (serious) advice only for next time. What should I say and how should I say things in such a situation so I'm not left with that feeling of "ahah that was a shitty move that has now left me in my own dead end conversation"? Is there a certain gameplan for given situations? Maybe my biggest drawback wasn't saying anything at all? I know it sounds like common sense stuff with some of you guys but too me I feel like I need that coach in my ring corner helping me.

And should I honestly invest in some of those DVD's lovedoctors sell. I got a few actually from a friend for my birthday but its a dissapointment. basically 3 hours of some guy gapping away at how successful he's been and hardly a sliver of knowledge on how to actually do it.

Suggestion of book or links for advice would be appreciated aswell if your too worried about giving away your prescious "game plans" or something.

[Airborne]

Well just start up a convo as you would otherwise and if you sense a potential awkward silence just mention that you gotta go.

Tips: Smile, appear interested though not to interested, look her in the EYE, plan out what you intend to say before hand! Good luck dude!

[Vanilla Gilr]

Ask her about herself...where's she from...what she thinks of this place so far, etc. If she has an interest in you...she'll start talking...and if you listen...she'll open up even more...BUT...if she just gives one word answers...ie..fine..okay...yes ...no...then...for whatever reason...she just doesn't want to be bothered right then...in which case...you just politely say something like...okay..see ya round..

If she doesn't appear interested...don't take it personal and 'burn the bridge'...she just may be in the mood to be alone...or may not feel like being 'hit on'...and if you keep it all friendly...she'll remember that...and it could pay off later...

might not get you laid at the moment...but you didn't exactly sound like you were looking for something meaningless.

Good luck.

[Tone]

I don't like the whole plan out what you say beforehand (even though I do it sometimes) because I don't want to seem like I'm following some script or stumbling over words. I usually give myself a lot of room to improvise.

You had a good idea, it's just general conversation. Try to convince yourself you're just talkin to another normal person and you're just interested in getting to know them, it will help relax you during your conversation. And just play on what she says... when she says what she's interested in - go from there. "Oh so have you always been big into art?" Etc etc, and if you have nothin else to say, get up and say "Well I have to go, but it was really nice to meet you and I look forward to seeing you around". Make sure you smile a lot. Next time you see her you guys will say hi, ask how each of you are doin and by then you'll have thought of something new you can talk about. Maybe something you picked up on your initial conversation that you thought of somethin good to say after you had time to think about it.

But don't let yourself get all hyped up... like "Omg omg omg a real life girl omg omg omg what if she's the one... what if I say the right things we end up falling in love and getting married..." Just realize she's just another human being, and you're just interested in getting to know her, nothing more. Good luck and let us know what happens!