Am I Wrong to be angry?

[Maile]

My bf and I have been together for two and a half years now, and have had a great relationship. When he asked me to move to a different city with him (across the country) I did. We are in a serious committed relationship that I have always felt is important to both of us. We have had our disagreements, but overall nothing major, and nothing that has really shaken me until now. Recently a girl who was a part of his tour group (during a china vacation) asked if she could stay at his place duringq her trip to our area. He never ran this request by me, and I didn't find out until she had already booked her tickets. When he told me about the trip, I told him that I wasn't comfortable with the situation as I have never met this girl, and I felt that having a girl he barely knows stay at his place was just disrespectful to me. I have never been a jealous girl, but for some reason this just bugged me. Not to mention her five day trip turned into ten at the last minute. He has never given me any reason to not trust him, and even now I know that he is faithful, I guess I just feel like he never considered my feelings. I feel like after being together for so long I should have been a consideration in this. He feels that I am being over sensitive, and that this situations perfectly normal. He feels this is about trust, and I feel it's about him taking my feelings into account. Am I wrong for feeling like I should have had an opinion, and that my opinion should matter in a situation like this?

[Twisted_Juliet]

He's right you are oversensitive but not entirely wrong if you love and trust him then give him a break, after all is the first time offense BUT nonetheless you should have a relaxed adult conversation (no nagging or rants) listen what he has to say as to why the friend is coming over and why he didn't tell you before and make sure he understands why you are upset and what should happen next time a similar situation comes along. It would strongly help your case if you ask him what would he do if it was you bringing some dude to stay over at your place? Good luck

[bulrush]

I think it is inappropriate for another girl to sleep at his house if you are not there. It's just too much temptation. But he should still respect your feelings. He should have talked to you about this before tickets were booked. But now it's done, don't overreact, or you will lose him. Have you told him that this REALLY bothers you how tickets were booked BEFORE you were notified? Your wording is important. If you didn't convey how much this really bothers you, he will think it's a minor thing. But you posted this on the internet, so it must be a major thing. So, did you actually convey that clearly to your bf?

[Maile]

So, when I first found out that she was staying at his place, I told him that I was uncomfortable and that I didn't really understand why he didn't tell me before everything was already set. He was adamant that after I met her I would be fine with the situation, and that he couldn't change it now because she had already booked the tickets. I tried to explain that it wasn't anything to do with me liking her, but it he Just didn't understand so I dropped it. Then on the first fault her arrival I found out that her five day trip turned into ten. He felt that since she wasn't "as pretty as me" that I would not be angry. But really that doesn't matter to me. He has had other friends that are women stay here (hotel and his place) and I have been fine because I knew them and because I was included in the decision. I think that he just figured that if I was okay before I would be okay now so he just went ahead without considering the difference in the situation from my perspective. He thinks I am angry because I don't trust him....i don't know how to help him understand how I feel without making the situation worse

[Maile]

Then on the first fault *day of* her arrival I found out that her five day trip turned into ten.

Sorry I am typing on an iPad...darn auto correct.

[Atnamas]

Ask him how he’d feel if you had another man stay at your house.