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Thread: My girlfriend dumped me. I feel like I have no reason to live whatsoever.

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    My girlfriend dumped me. I feel like I have no reason to live whatsoever.

    I just turned 23 and two days ago my girlfriend of 2 years dumped me. She is moving away in a week but we had agreed to a Long Distance Relationship. However, we got into a nasty fight on the exact day of our 2 year anniversary. She walked out on me. I tried to stop her but she said would call the cops on me if I didn't let her go. So I did. The following day, I went to see her at her parent's house. I took a cake that said Happy Anniversary and Sorry but she didn't want me there and asked me to leave. I tried to reason with her but she kicked me out and said that was the last time I was seeing her. Now this girl has been my everything for two years. I ingored all my friends and I was always doing something with her. I am a foreign student in the USA and all my family is either back home or in other parts of the world. I really don't know what to do. I have tried to contact her repeatedly over the last day or so but she hasn't gotten back to me. At this point I just want to overdose on something and never wake up again and most probably that is what I will do. I don't see any way out of this. People tell me it will get better but I just can't live without her. Period !!

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    What was the fight about? It seems strange that everything was perfectly fine before this one single fight, and now everything suddenly changed.

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    You're not alone

    I know what you feel because im there right now, i met this lady and sparks flew and i lost my heart. I ended up asking my wife of 10 years for a divorce, that was three weeks ago. And now my girlfriend is letting me go. I keep telling myself it wasn"t a good relationship because it was filled with ups and downs and i became suicidal at one point. Not good. It hurts most when you are emotionally exhausted and drained. You need to find a place to go within and regain the strength to see things clearly. I am there right now, i am trying to come back. I have no one to talk to they all have their own problems and i am thousands of mile from home. It is scarey and you just have to hang in there and give yourself time to get back in focus. You need to take care of yourself first of all.

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    Our relationship obviously had its fair share of ups and downs. When I first met her, it was love at first sight for me and a couple of months after that I pursued her like crazy. She eventually gave in and our relationship was perfect. She loved me back just as much I loved her and we loved doing things for each other. However, over the summer our relationship hit a rough patch as both of us personal issue to deal with but we were still there for each other. She got a great internship and was supposed to leave for another state soon but I had full intentions of staying faithful to her while she was away but on the inside I was going crazy with the thought of her moving away. I even told her that she should keep it in mind regarding my behavior. But then she left. I have been trying to contact her like crazy but she doesn't respnd at all. I get her voicemail every time and my emails and text messages have gone unanswered. I feel terrible at this point. I just wish she would call me once and tell me that it is going to be okay for me. That it is not the end of the world for me. That I am a good person and that eventually I will be alright. But I haven't heard any of that and that closure really is very important for me. I know in my heart and God knows how much I loved her and I do deserve a proper final goodbye. And if I don't get it, there is no point in living for me. I don't care if it gets better for me later or not. I just want to kill myself.

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    You still didn't say what the fight was about.

    Anyway, this is just a moment. You won't feel this low for the rest of your life. Killing yourself wouldn't fix anything, it would only ruin the lives of those who care about you. Be brave and strong and hold on, it will get better.

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    That's because I think it's irrelevent. My life is at stake here and I am sorry if I sound a bit selfish. I don't know how she feels about it because she hasn't spoken about but she has her entire family to help her through this whereas I do not have anyone whatsoever. All the friends I had, they are distant now. I am in my senior year at college and I haven't been to work or attended classes ever since. I have cried myself to sleep in hope I don't wake up the following morning and when I do, I cry some more like a child. My roommates have had to knock on my door to ask me what's wrong. This is the girl I wanted to marry and this was my first serious relationship so sure I made mistakes but so did she and I don't think any mistake is worth losing my life over, is it ? Would it kill her to talk to me once in order to save my life ? But she doesn't. Even if I was to kill myself, which seems like the only way out right now, I doubt she would care whatsoever.

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    You may think it's irrelevant, but it really isn't: it's the reason you are in this situation. Perhaps if you told us about it we could give advice apart from telling you what you already know - killing yourself won't make her come back to you, and threatening to kill yourself only so that she speaks to you will just get her even more distant from you.
    Last edited by searock; 21-09-11 at 05:51 AM.

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    Break ups

    This has happened to mostly everyone: you have an incredible relationship and one day it comes to a haltering end...I too thought my life was over when I was dumped but I promise you slowly but surely you will get out of this funk...you have to stay busy for the time being and be selfish by only concentrating on yourself...You have done all that you can up to this point and it's time for you to live your own life...Getting your ex back takes certain strategies and steps for every situation...It's not gonna happen by the snap of your fingers...Please message me if you need additional help...

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    Quote Originally Posted by ARTY_07 View Post
    That's because I think it's irrelevent. My life is at stake here and I am sorry if I sound a bit selfish. I don't know how she feels about it because she hasn't spoken about but she has her entire family to help her through this whereas I do not have anyone whatsoever. All the friends I had, they are distant now. I am in my senior year at college and I haven't been to work or attended classes ever since. I have cried myself to sleep in hope I don't wake up the following morning and when I do, I cry some more like a child. My roommates have had to knock on my door to ask me what's wrong. This is the girl I wanted to marry and this was my first serious relationship so sure I made mistakes but so did she and I don't think any mistake is worth losing my life over, is it ? Would it kill her to talk to me once in order to save my life ? But she doesn't. Even if I was to kill myself, which seems like the only way out right now, I doubt she would care whatsoever.
    She doesn't want to date you anymore. She's not obligated to.

    You need to save your own life. Man up, and go seek professional help. It's not on her - it's on you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mathias View Post
    She doesn't want to date you anymore. She's not obligated to.

    You need to save your own life. Man up, and go seek professional help. It's not on her - it's on you.
    I do understand that she has every right not to talk to me if she doesn't want to and she is by no means obligated to date me. However, I also believe that I have right to be given a proper goodbye. The fact which bothers me is that if the girl who loved me immensely for two years doesn't want anything to do with me, what a terrible person I must be , right ? I know I am not such a bad person and I need to hear this from her because she knows me better than anyone else, even my family. But in reality if I am such a bad human being, then there is no point for me to live right ? I live only end up hurting more people down the road , wouldn't I ?

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    Quote Originally Posted by ARTY_07 View Post
    I just turned 23 and two days ago my girlfriend of 2 years dumped me. She is moving away in a week but we had agreed to a Long Distance Relationship. However, we got into a nasty fight on the exact day of our 2 year anniversary. She walked out on me. I tried to stop her but she said would call the cops on me if I didn't let her go. So I did. The following day, I went to see her at her parent's house. I took a cake that said Happy Anniversary and Sorry but she didn't want me there and asked me to leave. I tried to reason with her but she kicked me out and said that was the last time I was seeing her. Now this girl has been my everything for two years. I ingored all my friends and I was always doing something with her. I am a foreign student in the USA and all my family is either back home or in other parts of the world. I really don't know what to do. I have tried to contact her repeatedly over the last day or so but she hasn't gotten back to me. At this point I just want to overdose on something and never wake up again and most probably that is what I will do. I don't see any way out of this. People tell me it will get better but I just can't live without her. Period !!
    Cut out the melodramatic "I have no reason to live" bullshit. She is moving away. A long distance relationship isn't going to work. She knows it. If you have had rough patches this early on, it probably wouldn't stand the test of time anyway, even if she wasn't moving. Count yourself lucky, quit being a pussy and go bang a bunch of girls like a good 23 year old should. Damn, what is wrong with kids these days. Damn Emos

    This is your opportunity. Quit looking at it like an end and look at it like the blessing that it is

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    Quote Originally Posted by ARTY_07 View Post
    I do understand that she has every right not to talk to me if she doesn't want to and she is by no means obligated to date me. However, I also believe that I have right to be given a proper goodbye. The fact which bothers me is that if the girl who loved me immensely for two years doesn't want anything to do with me, what a terrible person I must be , right ? I know I am not such a bad person and I need to hear this from her because she knows me better than anyone else, even my family. But in reality if I am such a bad human being, then there is no point for me to live right ? I live only end up hurting more people down the road , wouldn't I ?
    She doesn't want anything to do with you because she needs to get over the breakup, too. No contact is by far the best way of doing that.

    You're not a bad human being. People break up. It's not a personal judgment, just a judgment on that particular relationship.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ARTY_07 View Post
    I just turned 23 and two days ago my girlfriend of 2 years dumped me. She is moving away in a week but we had agreed to a Long Distance Relationship. However, we got into a nasty fight on the exact day of our 2 year anniversary. She walked out on me. I tried to stop her but she said would call the cops on me if I didn't let her go. So I did. The following day, I went to see her at her parent's house. I took a cake that said Happy Anniversary and Sorry but she didn't want me there and asked me to leave. I tried to reason with her but she kicked me out and said that was the last time I was seeing her. Now this girl has been my everything for two years. I ingored all my friends and I was always doing something with her. I am a foreign student in the USA and all my family is either back home or in other parts of the world. I really don't know what to do. I have tried to contact her repeatedly over the last day or so but she hasn't gotten back to me. At this point I just want to overdose on something and never wake up again and most probably that is what I will do. I don't see any way out of this. People tell me it will get better but I just can't live without her. Period !!
    I think you should call your parents and tell them whats happened and how you're feeling and then I think you should get on the next plane headed home and take a break in your studies until you are emotionally stable. No one is worth what you're wanting to do so just go home and get yourself well through the help of your family and a good therapist.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 22-09-11 at 01:18 PM. Reason: 'plain' to 'plane'
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wakeup View Post
    I think you should call your parents and tell them whats happened and how you're feeling and then I think you should get on the next plain headed home and take a break in your studies until you are emotionally stable. No one is worth what you're wanting to do so just go home and get yourself well through the help of your family and a good therapist.
    I would do that if I could, in a heartbeat however my parents would never agree to me coming back home in the middle of a semester. Hopefully, I will get to go home over the winter break but even that's more than two months away.

    I really don't understand all the negative things being said on here. Am I a pussy because I met a girl, fell head over heals in love with her , gave her the best of everything that I could and when she left me, I can't get over her right away ? Trust me, I wish I could be out there banging other girls right away but I can't. The night she left me, I went out to the bars with a buddy, got hammered and came back home with a girl, an old friend. She made it pretty obvious that she wanted me but I couldn't do anything. I have immense feelings and respect for the love of my life and I just can't start hooking up with other girls right away , can I ?

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    Quote Originally Posted by ARTY_07 View Post
    I would do that if I could, in a heartbeat however my parents would never agree to me coming back home in the middle of a semester. Hopefully, I will get to go home over the winter break but even that's more than two months away.
    Trust me, If they know the state you're in, they'll want you to get the help you need so that you have the emotional and mental tools to cope with these kinds of things in the future. I'm sure they don't want to lose their son either so why don't you just call them and see what they say? If I'm not right then you were and then that's one solution that was useless but at least it's out of the way. If I'm right then, have a good flight.

    I really don't understand all the negative things being said on here. Am I a pussy because I met a girl, fell head over heals in love with her , gave her the best of everything that I could and when she left me, I can't get over her right away ? Trust me, I wish I could be out there banging other girls right away but I can't. The night she left me, I went out to the bars with a buddy, got hammered and came back home with a girl, an old friend. She made it pretty obvious that she wanted me but I couldn't do anything. I have immense feelings and respect for the love of my life and I just can't start hooking up with other girls right away , can I ?
    IMO you shouldn't be hooking up with women right away because of the very reason(s) you state and because you will make a lousy partner at the moment. So, if you happen to really like who you're hooking up with (more than just for sex) you will ruin it because she won't like you back when you're not the best you that you can be... so it's kinda of a useless exercise at the moment.

    If you won't call your parents and lean on them (that's what they're there for, amongst other things of course) then I suggest you go to your school councelor and have a sit down.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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