I am desperate and i don't know what to do about it

[olds929]

First of all i want to thank you all guys for the help you are giving !

My problem is as follows:
Last winter i met this girl at a party. She really liked me, and i liked her. But she was just passing by and we just talked that night and she left to her hometown in NY.

Later we got each others phone no. and e-mails and we have been speaking for almost 1 year.
And when i say that we did it in such a great way, that in the last period of time we were even really talking sexual on the phone. We have been speaking like 1-2 times per day, and texting.
She even admitted she had strong feelings for me, and later on i admitted that to her as well. And i know I shouldn't have.
We planned on meeting, since it's a great distance between us, but each time something happened during this year and we couldn't meet, sometimes it was because of my studies, or her studies and exams.

We were really planning on meeting this winter and we were all going great BUT i don't know exactly how it happened, i texted her in a joking way that tonight when she goes out to not go on a date with some guy ... and after i insisted with another stupid joke like this asking her: " Why didn't you reply? where your hands occupied with someone others' hands?"
And i think this pissed her off. Later that day she found a pic of me on facebook with another girl. I was just tagged there and it was pure accident. But it was a HARMLESS pic. Still, she thought i did it because she didn't answer and that i wanted to take revenge or something like this, which is silly.

The next day we could hardly talk, she was not "available" etc.
I couldn't see that maybe she lost somewhat interest in me all of a sudden, because each time we were to talk on the phone, she was finding excuses to hang up.
I did the BIG MISTAKe to text her that i care for her and that i think of her all the time.

Later on, we spoke again on the phone and we got into a kind of a fight, and after asking her a couple of times to tell me the truth, she said that she doesn't know how she feels know and that we should take a break from speaking.
I was like shocked in the beginning and i started to appear needy and clingy to her when she mentioned to not speak. A big mistake i know.
We haven't spoken since then, and even though only 3 days passed, it feels like 3 years for me.
This "i need sometime because i am not independent anymore" might be just BS.

I know my mistakes, but what is it that i should do to win her back? And meet eventually?

Any advice upon what i should do to make her realize that i am what she is looking for and that i am the great person she once thought i was and basically to STIR the interest in her again?

Thanks and cheers !

[smackie9]

Well this is why LDRs suck ass. 99% of them fall apart, and what you just went through is one or the reasons why it becomes so difficult.....jealousy, misconception, confusion. You just insulted her, and now she thinks you can't trust her and in her mind you have questioned her love for you. That's a huge burn dude. You can never joke about stuff like that, but I really don't believe you that you were. It sounded like you did it out of your own insecurities, and you were looking for reassurance in a round about way.


Well if she really loves you she will circle around and come back, but she needs time to kool off, and reassess the situation. 3 days is nothing, give it till Sunday.

She is just doing this to punish you, so hang in there.

[olds929]

To hate you? YOu just explained to me what it's all about. How could i do that?
Thank you for your answer.

However, from what i told you, are you sure it's all about herb eing hurt, or it might be that maybe that GIVE ME SPACE thing could mean that she found someone?
She didn't contact me at all since Monday. She ceased her facebook activity 100%. Nothing from her on the news page, but nothing from mine as well.
I have also deleted her phone no. so that i don't do the mistake to contact her.

Should i wait until Sunday like you said and see what happens?
What if she doesn't contact me until the, is there anything i could do to make it good again?

Thank you !

[smackie9]

"Don't hate me because I'm brutally honest.......everyone needs a kick to the nuts once in awhile." Is my signature lol. My advice at times is quite unpopular with other posters.

Anyways, what you are going through I have seen it a million times. People come on here in a panic because they were abruptly cut off. People cut off the contact usually to punish the other, you know make you sweat, to make you appreciate what you have. Usually they eventually come around because they miss you and with a good long honest talk things are usually better than ever. A separation such as this forces a lesson to lean to communicate more openly with each other.

You call her on Sunday, tell her you were wrong for saying those things, that you were a total jerk, apologize, tell her you miss her, and then ask her what you can do to make it up to her.

Oh and get on the internet and order some flowers to be sent to her door.

[olds929]

Yes but others might say it would be needy behaviour to start contacting her, especially the flower part.

[smackie9]

well then just carry on with life and if she contacts you she contacts you.

[smackie9]

BTW needy is when you obsessively call, or text, or send lavish gifts. Anyways no matter what you to there will be no guarantee you will get her back. Think about it tho, how can this be a real relationship when you can't even see each other? You've only been into it seriously for what a few months?......she's probably realizing how much of a bothersome waste of time it is. There isn't really much of a future. Plus I,m sure she's had her fill of jealous guys so you just may have blown it.