How should I approach this girl I really like?

[Mr_Shy_Guy]

Hey people!

I'm currently in Grade 12, and I need some advice on how to approach this really beautiful girl that I have feelings for. She's in Grade 11, so we don't have any classes together. The only timse I get to see her is when school ends and we go to our lockers to get our stuff (my locker is very close to hers), when we're at the bus stop (we both hang out with our own "group", so it would be hard to approach her because we're both with our own friends) and occasionally in the hallways between classes. She's one of the more popular girls though, and I'm a shy guy. I have a feeling she likes me too (I'm not 100% sure though) cause I've noticed that she looks at me almost every time we see each other (I'm not completely sure if she was looking at me, but it's happened so many times that I've lost count, so I don't think it was accidental). We've locked eyes like once or twice (the other times she looks at me, I'm usually too shy to look at her).

How should I approach her? Everyone says that I should just walk up and say "Hi", but since I'm a shy guy and I'm not that type of person, I think it would make it way too obvious that I like her, and I'm afraid that it would freak her out and make everything awkward. So, how can I approach her and talk to her and hopefully turn it into a relationship in the future? Help would be appreciated

Thanks

[devonbrown]

How should I approach her? Everyone says that I should just walk up and say "Hi", but since I'm a shy guy and I'm not that type of person, I think it would make it way too obvious that I like her, and I'm afraid that it would freak her out and make everything awkward.

Everyone is right. Think about it logically, how would saying hi make it obvious that you like her? It would make it obvious that you wanted to talk to her, but that's all. Why not just say to her at her locker, "Hi. I am _____. I just wanted to introduce myself since we seem to see each other around a lot," and just take it from there. She is just a girl. She breathes the same air you do. Don't make her out to be some goddess that you can't look in the eye. Confidence in yourself is the key. Girls love that.

So, how can I approach her and talk to her and hopefully turn it into a relationship in the future?

Whoa there a second... You haven't even talked to her but you are hoping to have a relationship with her in the future? You may not even like this girl. It is that type of unrealistic thinking that may freak her out and which keeps you from talking to her. Dial it back some. Baby steps. All you want to do right now is talk to her. So do that. And go from there.

Good luck.

[Mr_Shy_Guy]

Yea, I think I'm just making things way too complicated. I'll forget about the whole relationship thing for now and just focus on "breaking the ice" with her. I hope I have the balls to talk to her on Monday.

[All Night Long]

I think you should like accidently bump into her and maybe knock her books down or something but not hard enough to hurt her but say sorry pick up her books and ask her name if you don't alredy no it and if you do ( say her name was Emma) say "You're Emma right?" just to seem like your not a dumbass stalker then ask her where her next class is and if it's close to yours ask to walk her to class.

[Mr_Shy_Guy]

*sigh*

Once again, I didn't have the balls to approach my crush. I guess things will remain this way (just looking at her and not saying a word to her) until I grow a pair of balls and get the courage to approach her.

I think you should like accidently bump into her and maybe knock her books down or something but not hard enough to hurt her but say sorry pick up her books and ask her name if you don't alredy no it and if you do ( say her name was Emma) say "You're Emma right?" just to seem like your not a dumbass stalker then ask her where her next class is and if it's close to yours ask to walk her to class.

Thanks for the suggestion, but I'm afraid that's been done wayyyy too many times =/

[elny1]

Friend request her on facebook! Facebooking helps so many people meet other people and initiates talking and interest! Talk to her a few times on fb, get to know her, then grab all your guts, and the next time you see her in school at her locker, correct your posture, put your shoulders out, chin up, walk over like a man, look her straight in the eyes (nowhere else!!!) and ask her if she wants to hang out after school sometime this week. And for the love of god don't fidget.

[Mr_Shy_Guy]

Friend request her on facebook! Facebooking helps so many people meet other people and initiates talking and interest! Talk to her a few times on fb, get to know her, then grab all your guts, and the next time you see her in school at her locker, correct your posture, put your shoulders out, chin up, walk over like a man, look her straight in the eyes (nowhere else!!!) and ask her if she wants to hang out after school sometime this week. And for the love of god don't fidget.

I think it would be really awkward since we've never talked to each other before (she probably doesn't even know my name).


Anyways, I still have those feelings for her (really strange cause I don't even know her), but I think I'm just gonna give up cause she's out of my league.

[elny1]

What is she going to think if you friend request her?
Hmm lets put ourselves in her shoes......... She sees friend request from someone she goes to school with and makes eye contact with all the time. she'll 'accept' and think 'cool! someone from school thinks I'm interesting enough to want to add me to facebook!'. Don't swarm her with "hey whats going on?!" sort of stuff. After she accepts your friend request, you should feel more comfortable at least talking to her in/around school.

What would you do if a person from school added you? Isn't that how you would feel/think?

This approach is not screaming HEY I THINK YOU'RE HOT LETS TRY DATING AND BE AWKWARD!!!
it's just a way to get into talking to her easily since you're shy. People do this all the time. I see people at bars who I meet like once but never really get into talking to, so I add them to facebook, next time I see them at the bar we're best friends. It's an amazing social tool.

[Eva.Thomas]

Try and be yourself when you approach her. Do not pretend to be someone which you are not. And don't worry, saying just a hi doesn't indicate anything. It just implies that you are keen to talk to her. And do not rush things. Getting into a relationship is too fast. First talk to her and then you will know whether you both get along well or not. Only then take the next step forward.

[Mr_Shy_Guy]

What is she going to think if you friend request her?
Hmm lets put ourselves in her shoes......... She sees friend request from someone she goes to school with and makes eye contact with all the time. she'll 'accept' and think 'cool! someone from school thinks I'm interesting enough to want to add me to facebook!'. Don't swarm her with "hey whats going on?!" sort of stuff. After she accepts your friend request, you should feel more comfortable at least talking to her in/around school.

What would you do if a person from school added you? Isn't that how you would feel/think?

This approach is not screaming HEY I THINK YOU'RE HOT LETS TRY DATING AND BE AWKWARD!!!
it's just a way to get into talking to her easily since you're shy. People do this all the time. I see people at bars who I meet like once but never really get into talking to, so I add them to facebook, next time I see them at the bar we're best friends. It's an amazing social tool.

I guess you're right about the whole Facebook thing, it's not a big deal if I add her. The only thing I'm worried about is that her friends talked to her about me.

Here's the situation:

So, my crush hangs out with this group of girls now (they are all hot and popular, and 3 of them went to my elementary school). I'm 100% certain the 3 girls that were in my elementary school liked me like 3 years ago (before we went to high school), cause I overheard them talking about me a couple of times. Unfortunately, at the time, I was still not mature enough to have any sort of relationship (and I was wayyyy too shy), so I never really approached them even though they had already made it super easy for me to approach them. The other 2 girls (one of them being my crush), I'm not sure if they like me or not. One day (around 2 years ago), one of the girls was sitting beside me on the bus and she tried to start a conversation with me. However, on that day, I just happened to be feeling pretty sick (I was literally about to throw up), so I didn't really carry on the conversation, and from that point on, I think she kinda hates me cause I sort of ignored her. I know I should've apologized to her, but I just didn't have the balls to at the time.


So, basically, I'm just afraid that her friends told her about me, so I don't know if I should approach her or not, cause if I do, the other girls might be like "Why didn't he (I) approach me?" (they are wayyy above my league too). It's hard to explain, but I hope you get the point. Let me know if you guys understand my situation or not. If not, I'll try to rephrase it lol.

[elny1]

I wouldnt worry about any of that. Girls hate girls a lot it's pretty standard for anything negative to be said about you from her friends if this scenario ever occurs. Changes nothing.

-You're thinking about 5 steps ahead and looking at a bad scenario. You need to just grab your balls and just realize you're a high status individual whether you perceive yourself to be or not. If she doesn't find interest in you then TOO BAD FOR HER.

here's a real example:
Okay, so I'm about to ask a girl out that I work with. We've exchanged eye contact a few times, and have briefly ever even spoken to each other. I sense a good amount of chemistry between us based on looks, voice tone, posture, body movement, and experience. Next week I'm going to walk up to her and say "hey you should get to know me better. lets hit a bar sometime", and if she says something like shes got a boyfriend or shes not interested, I'm going to say "thats ashame, if your heart changes hit me up", and hand her my number (all while keeping direct eye contact and not fidgeting or sweating like a nervous twerp!!!). If she says she will go out, then its on. no big deal! I'm not going to get disappointed if she says no. Theres a HUGE chance she will say no since I think she has a boyfriend, but girls aren't going to dislike you for getting the confidence to pull a move like that. In fact they appreciate and value guys who can keep their composure in situations that most people find incredibly difficult and awkward. Great composure is incredibly sexy for a woman, whether you're rejected or not, you will stick out in a great way.

[bpem]

I'm going to have to disagree with the Facebook idea..
You never want to start a relationship online; if you get comfortable talking to her online it'll be harder for you to talk to her in person. Sure, 1/10 times it might work out, but I think you'd send a better impression if you added her after you actually met her.
Also, don't make assumptions "I think she likes me too" "I think her friends liked me 3 years ago" etc. These are completely ungrounded assumptions that will only make it harder for you to take a rejection later on. For now don't lie to yourself and start with the facts.
- You are attracted to her
- You have a class near her
- She is more popular than you
- You are shy
From here, you can begin to think of a plan.
What I can tell you from experience is that you're going to have a hard time making a move based on the way you told the story. I wish it were different, but I know people who have been in your position and have crashed and burned. In order to learn from this and have a chance, you have to use an indirect approach, but not through a technological medium.
You can:
- Find a club/sport that she is in and join.
- Make friends with one of her friends in order to meet her, since you're bound to be more comfortable introducing yourself to someone you aren't attracted to.
- Or go for one of the cliche, yet often successful 'bump in to her in the hall' or 'do you know the time' etc.
I hope none of what I've said deflates your pride, but it is important for you to start being honest with yourself now. Don't make assumptions, don't think about the future, and just try to keep yourself in the present. There's nothing wrong with planning ahead, but don't have fantasies that will only make you more awkward or creepy in the future. And remember, Facebook only AFTER you meet her.

[Mr_Shy_Guy]

Ahh, well thanks for the advice everyone. I don't think I'll have the balls to approach her any time soon, unfortunately. I know this will probably be a decision I will regret in the future, but I'll worry about that later.

[Nezinomas]

Ah, I remember the school days, when I would have a crush on a beautiful girl, but couldn't approach as I was shy too.

However I would now and I did at University. Some quotes helped like: You only live once. It's better regret doing it than regret of not doing it at all.

What have you to loose? Nothing. If she looks at you and she does(I know that look you're talking about) it means she like your appearance so be confident about yourself. The worse thing can happen is a little chat and nothing more. The best thing would be a chat following with a date the next day. So just get yourself together and say "Hi. What's your name?" and get chat going. Remember you don't have anything to loose. And you won't look stupid towards friends, actually you will looks cool have balls approaching girl.

Don't be like me, regretting thins later

[Mr_Shy_Guy]

Yea, I know I'll regret not approaching her in the future, but I mean, it's sooo hard trying to find the perfect time to approach her, and I don't want her first impression of me to be a bad one. There's been a few moments where I really want to just go up and start up a conversation, but I always pussy out in the end. Honestly, I'm starting to get the feeling that those "signs" that I've been noticing were just false alarms, but I don't really know why.