Please help i'm very confused

[skyliner33]

Hey guys,

I met this girl several weeks ago, and have had a very interesting experience so far to say the least. i'm a senior in college. I don't know how well i'll be able to narrate this, but i'll give it my best shot. First i'll give the background. this girl is also a senior, and she's looking to go to Pennsylvania or Michigan next year for grad school (far away form where we are currently). She's also involved in a lot of organizations, and doesn't have that much free time. For the first week we knew each other, she didn't have meetings, or other obligations, but she had told me that after that week she was going to start getting busier.

We met at a pub through a mutual friend, and from the night we met we hit it off. The next night she invited me to go out to another pub, and we could both tell that there was a mutual attraction. The conversations were great, we were both very high energy. We had our first kiss/make out that night, and I took her back to my house, but neither of us were looking for sex that night. over the next few days we spent a lot of time with each other, and began to develop a very close relationship. about 5-6 days after meeting her, we went out again one night, and ended up going back to my house again and had sex for the first time. Things went very well as far as that goes. for the next few days we continued to grow closer, and had sex a few more times. After about a week of us really knowing each other, we started to contemplate an "official" relationship, though neither of us were concerned about a title.

The last time that we had sex (a little over 2 weeks ago), things seemed to change. She started sending me mixed signals. She would ask me what i wanted to do that night, and then when i would respond she would say she is busy. We hung out a few times that next week and things just weren't clicking. She seemed somewhat absent when we would talk, like something was on her mind, but we would still touch/kiss/ect. however, after about a week of us not having sex, we hung out again, and she seemed completely back to the way she was at first, she initiated making out with me(which she hadn't even done at all until that point). for the next few days things seemed to be going pretty well again.

finally we went out again to a bar with friends, and she seemed absent again. After a few hours we decided to leave, and we went into her car to talk. I said we should hang out at one of our places afterwards, and she said that she couldn't and that she was sorry (her demeanor was completely different than it had been since i had known her). we started talking about our relationship, and she was saying that she couldn't keep doing this, that she was too busy and that she couldn't give me the time i deserved. She said that she had been denying having feelings for me over the past week and a half. She also said that b/c she was going to move away after this year, that she did't want to set herself up for the pain of a long distance relationship, or splitting up. I was shocked after hearing this and was unsure as to how to respond. i said what i thought about it, and basically said we have 9 months, we should see where things go/ect. and she responded with "you're winning right now," as if what i had said made an impact on her. we basically ended the conversation with her saying that she just couldn't keep doing this, and we were both going out of town that weekend, so we knew we wouldn't see each other for a few days anyways. I has pretty hurt, b/c i genuinely like her, and she seemed to like me as well. Early on she seemed to be more willing to get into a relationship than i was, but after about a week it seemed that the roles had switched, and I was more interested.

Finally, i hate to say this, but b/c this is anonymous i guess i can. The 3rd day we knew each other she told me that her dad had done inappropriate things to her when she was younger (grab her butt, spoon on the couch/ect). never touched her vagina or anything like that, but still stuff that would qualify as molestation. The night we had this conversation (the last night we have seen each other), she said that the last time we had sex, something cued her in about the fact that she had told me all of this so early on, and was worried as to what i was thinking when we were having sex. I told her that that was the furthest thing from my mind, but she said that it wasn't that I was thinking that, it was that she was worried about what i was thinking, and that me simply telling her that couldn't alleviate that concern. this convo happened last wednesday, and i didn't text her until this past sunday, and asked her about her weekend, told her that i wanted to hang out soon, grab lunch/coffee. she asked me "what would you like to talk about?" and i didn't know how to respond, so I just said "nothing specific, just wanted to catch up." she said she'd be busy for the next few days, but seemed to imply that she was down to hang out soon, and i told her just to let me know when she had some free time. she didn't text me back, and we havent texted/talked since.

sry for the huge story, i just feel like its all pretty relevant, and I sincerely hope to get some advice on this.

[smackie9]

What is your question?

[skyliner33]

sry i guess my question is where should i go from here?

[smackie9]

There's too much crap getting in the way of having a normal happy relationship. Cut your losses and find something more stable.

[skyliner33]

thanks for the advice i know it was a ton to read. i left the ball in her court at this point, i'm not going to contact her from here on out, if she contacts me i'll pick it up from there, but otherwise she's out of my life as far as i'm concerned.