Nervous about asking him about sex toys

[Benni]

I've been seeing a guy intimately for awhile now. He's very loving and tries to please me so that we cum together. First, let me say, there is no oral involved on either part-- neither of us care for it so that is a mutual agreement.

I've been spoiled to a vibrator over the past years of being single and not dating. I need intense clitoral stimulation. Most of the time, he provides it with his finger but there are times when he seems exasperated as to how long it takes me to cum.

I want to bring up using the vibrator together BUT-- he is very macho and I'm afraid I'll make him mad if I do. Some guys see sex toys as an ego-buster.

Is there a tactful way to bring this up without attacking his manliness?

[TheTooya]

A couple quick random ideas:
* you can try showing him a Wii-Vibe. Its intended to fit inside with a penis at the same time. The vibration makes it feel better for both parties.
* tell him you want to masturbate in front of him? It was a turn on for me with my past relationship.
* tell him that you like to play with toys and "explore" your sexual side.

Really, you need to stop worrying about what he thinks and just go along with it. Obviously don't tell him that you are trying to replace him/ what he can provide with a toy (even if its true), but just treat it as an extra accessory to sex. Even better, tell him he can take the reigns of the toys too.

Good luck

[Benni]

Thanks for the great advice, Tooya! I'll check into the Wii-vibe, too.

[Devilsbane]

Good advice above on how to get the idea out there without hurting him. Otherwise the other option is to give up the vibrator. Eventually your body will return to how it was before you started using it. You might need to be patient though.

[Benni]

Thanks Devilsbane.

[Krik]

Sounds like he just needs some educating. There is nothing wrong with a woman using a vibrator.

Perhaps you could relate a story about a friend of yours who's boyfriend bought her a vibrator? Something along those lines..

[Benni]

Perhaps you could relate a story about a friend of yours who's boyfriend bought her a vibrator? Something along those lines..

Great idea! Thanks Krik!

[Benni]

Well, the subject came up through email-- sort of. He had emailed me wanting to know when I was coming over again. I told him it would be tomorrow night but wished it was tonight as I am horny for him. I said he's spoiled me and that the vibrator wasn't cutting it anymore. Then, I wrote "Hmmm... wonder what it would feel like to have you inside me plus use the vibrator? Can you tell I'm horny?" His reply was only "LOL ok, I'll see you tomorrow night.

So! At least he didn't get upset! I'll broach the subject, again, in person and see what is said. I'm packing that sucker just in case!

[ElectricRed]

I've asked my girlfriend to use her vibe in front of me or to let us play with it but she doesn't like the idea. I'm not distraught over it but I'm surprised she doesn't want to play like you do!

[Benni]

She may be too shy or not confident enough.