Help! Need to know what my ex's actions and words mean!!

[JDucl]

Hi there,

I'm new to this forum and need some insight.

My boyfriend and I broke up in July of this year and my boyfriend was the one who brought up the breakup and wanted to split apart and yet remain good friends saying he cared for me and loved me but wasn't "in love" with me. We were together for 6 years and lived together for 5 of those years and had 2 pets together. We cut off communication (except to clean our old apartment for a few days) for about a month. Recently, however, over the last few weeks, we have been talking a little and hanging out a few times each week.

This confusion I am experiencing all started about 3 weeks ago when I was out at a club with a friend. I guess I drunk dialed him while he was out drinking with friends crying and saying I "missed him so much". He stayed on the phone with me at that time to calm me down and then we hung up since he was with his friends. Once he left his friends at the end of the night, he called me back saying he wanted to see me, so I met up with him and we talked over food and coffee where he told me he really missed me a lot as well and hated seeing me so sad. We ended up going to back to his place where we slept together and he kept telling me how much he missed me. A few hours later I had to get up to leave and told him I had to go back home since i couldn't leave my best friend who was visiting from out of town alone at my house. He cuddled with me for a second and gave me a huge hug and then as he walked me to the door to say goodbye, I saw a few tears well up in his eyes before he closed the door.

The week and a half after, I made contact with him to ask him if he wanted to see a free movie screening with me. He agreed and once we were at the theatre, he put the arm rest up (which he always did in the past to be closer to me and put his arm around me) even though he didn't do that. We were both hungry so we split a hotdog. Instead of cutting it in half or tearing it in two pieces, he fed me a few bites. We then went out to dinner where I said I wanted to try a piece of his food and I was grabbing my fork to get my own bite, but before I could do it he used his own fork and fed me again. Leaving the restaurant he put his arm around me and gave me a long side hug. I said I felt like getting something sweet like stopping by to get some ice cream and he invited me over to his house where he said he had some in his freezer that we could share and maybe watch a movie. We watched a movie, but that was it and we sat in separate chairs and I then went home with just a hug goodnight. We went to a concert 1.5 hours out of town the next night where he drove up and he told me he thought I should go with him next year on a three week Europe trip he was planning (our thing was that we always traveled a lot together while we were a couple). We spent the car trip up to the concert talking about the trip and what we could do, etc. Then, at the concert, he sat next to me at the table and kept his arm around me on the chair throughout the night.

The next week I texted him to ask him to another free screening to a movie I got tickets for and he agreed to go then as well. We went and then after the movie we went out to a bar to grab a few drinks and sing karaoke. We went back to this house afterwards where we slept together again. Waking up together the next morning, all he wanted to do was cuddle and hold me. He called me by my pet names he used to use and kept telling me I looked "Beautiful" and that he really missed me. He also took one of our cats in the breakup and when the cat came over to snuggle between the two of us, he said, "Don't you miss him? It's kind of like our son or child." He kept kissing me on the forehead, the cheeks, etc. I asked him if he wanted to go to breakfast/brunch and he agreed. Yet again, he slipped and called me a pet name again and fed me bites of his food from his plate to try. He drove me to an appointment the same day when I asked if he could drop me off to save me from paying too much for parking and then we went after he picked me up to happy hour, then to my house to change before another free movie. On our way to my place, he was on the phone with a friend and when his friend asked what he was doing, my ex boyfriend said "I'm with my girl about to see a movie." When he got off the phone, he chuckled and told me, "I'm not sure what to call you. It would sound weird if I said I was with an ex." That night we went back to his house where I slept over again and he had sex, again. He did the same thing with me in terms of telling me how beautiful I was and how good I looked and wanted to snuggle with me and hold me for hours, which he initiated. Before I left, he even made plans to go out again a few days later to go to the beach after he was done working to hang out for a while. (I forgot to mention that all of these past few nights he has been opening my car door for me everywhere we go, which he stopped doing the last two years of our relationship before we broke up).

So, two nights later, I told him I got tickets to see a new show so he agreed to go. we went out for a few hours and grabbed some food and headed to a show. He was in a bad mood, non talkative and really cranky for some reason as well as quiet. He was very distant with me. When I dropped him off at his house that night, he was still heading out to a friends party after I was going to leave and as he exited my car, he leaned over to give me a quick hug and said, "I'll see ya."

Needless to say, we were supposed to go to the beach the next night but he never called and I didn't want to bug him again since all I've been doing is texting or calling him to make plans with him. It's only been a day or two, but I miss him like crazy and don't know how to read his signals. Does he want to get back together? What is he feeling? Is he playing games with me? I'm so confused by his mixed signals and don't want to be the one to always call and text him to make plans. Should I wait to see if he calls me to make plans the next time?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

? I'm so confused by his mixed signals and don't want to be the one to always call and text him to make plans. Should I wait to see if he calls me to make plans the next time?

In a word. Yeah.

[Wakeup]

I had a longer reply in you rother post but in a nutshell.. You are now in a Friends with Benefits relationship which will be hell for you if you discover that he's doing you and seeing other women as well. Talk to him about how having sex and dating you while not being official is confusing you and ask him if he's changed his mind about the break-up. Right now, you're doing all the inviting and he's just following your lead.

[teacher37]

ok...so...he doesnt initiate a date...but goes on them and tells you what he knows girls want to hear? yet if he missess you..is he dollowing thru on any of those things he told you??