Is He Really Interested In Me?!

[Th4tG1rl]

Hello, I'm kinda new of this sort of things. So I'm very sorry for causing any troubles and thank you for your attention and time to read/reply to my thread.

I actually need some advice about this... situation.

I do part-time as a cashier on a supermarket so I can pay for college, and there's this guy, who's not a co-worker, but a security guard from the security company. He's actually "hot", every girl already noticed that, now... the thing is: I never had been interested in him (or any other guy ever), I mean... if I ever was I wouldn't stand a change anyway, but... recently it SEEMS that his interested in me. I actually think that he's flirting with me, but of course he could just being nice and I'm over-reacting.

But this "attention" is making me confusing and now I'm actually interesting in him, not saying "in love", I barely know him.

His actions towards me are... weird: He started to joke with my last name; He's always "joking" around with me; more than one time he actually neglected his work just to speak to me; he already "jokily" crabbed my pants me and push me towards him; He plays with my arms (touching); It looks like he likes being close to me; Sometimes he insinuate kissing/sexual things (with a funny/kind mood without being disrespected); He's even more nice, funny and "flirt" when we are alone; among other things;
Last time I spoke to him (I'm currently on vacation) he called me "hot"... like 8 times but always on a funny mood and I noticed that, before I went to speak to him (because he called me convinced), he was talking with a woman and he, literally, dispatched her and came to speak with me.

Now, like I said before... this attention is made me interested in him, not only that, but he's actually nice, funny and his an amateur artist (I'm an Art & Design student).
But... I'm confused if he really is into to me or not. I mean! The guy is actually hot and I'm nothing special. I'm not even what people consider "thin". I'm not saying I'm ugly, because I'm not, but I'm also NOT "super-star thin".
Shouldn't be a guy like him, at least, trying to be with a "hot girl"?!

My friends says that I should go for it and I have low self-esteem, but I say that I'm being realistic.

So...
I only want a little more of suggestions and what should I do?!
Is he really into me or not?! Some advice?!
I'm too shy and not confident to do anything.

Thank you so much for your attention!

Sincerely,
Th4t G1rl

Sorry the English!

[vashti]

You don't have to be "rock star thin" for men to find you attractive... a lot of them like a somewhat curvier, softer figure as it contrasts with their own bodies..

I don't know if he likes you or not - some men are just naturally flirty when they see a girl they find attractive. Time will tell.

[Yet another guy]

I'm not even what people consider "thin".

To many guys, not being thin is pretty much a requirement for being sexy. Most guys prefer curvy girls.

My friends says that I should go for it and I have low self-esteem, but I say that I'm being realistic.

He thinks you're hot and flirts with you. It's realistic to assume he might be interested.

I only want a little more of suggestions and what should I do?!

Ask him out. I know it's hard, I'm very shy too.

[devonbrown]

It definitely sounds like he finds you attractive. The attention and the flirtation wouldn't be so heavy if he didn't find you attractive.

Being super-thin is actually a turnoff to a lot of guys. The media promotes this ultra-skinny look and some guys like that. But when a guy realizes that a woman should look like a woman and not a 12-year old boy with no curves, then they start to appreciate other body types.

I understand why your friends say you have low self-esteem. It is because you do. You may be realistic as well, but the fact is that you don't think you could stand a chance with this guy. That is not confident. You have to appreciate who you are and what you have to offer. That confidence is what exudes sexiness, not the amount of weight you have on your bones.

Trust in yourself and just ask him if he would like to do something after work sometime. Getting to know him outside of the work environment might help you make up your mind about him.

Good luck.

[Th4tG1rl]

Thank for your words and the time to leave a reply.

Well... it's true (or so I think) that beauty depends person to person and beauty it's in the eyes of the beholder.
Still I don't get what I'm so special about, that's why I'm realistic (or maybe pessimist), but this looks too good to be true, or at least for me is. Nothing like this happened to me before and I'm used to fight for my own happiness. Actually, I'm kinda tired of that, I would like somebody to fight for me...
ANYWAY... I'm confused if he is really interested in me or he is "desperate".
The guy could be also a jerk, but the few times I spoke to him (real conversation, not joking around) he looks nice and a good person. And the fact that we are both Art lover makes it even more difficult to believe he is a jerk. But it's like vashti said, he could only naturally flirting, then I would fool myself (and probably hurt) if I ask anything...

But I decided one thing. Next time I'll speak to him when I came back to work this weekend, I'll surely will take my time chatting with him, flirting or not, and since we are doing the last hours, I will stay to make him company and see what happens...
I would love to hang out with him out of work, if only being friends.

I only wish I wouldn't be this shy. I'm too shy and a coward. And pessimist... Boy! That it's not a good combination .

[Yet another guy]

When the glass is full, does a pessimist say that it lacks emptyness?

but this looks too good to be true, or at least for me is. Nothing like this happened to me before and I'm used to fight for my own happiness. Actually, I'm kinda tired of that, I would like somebody to fight for me...

I'm actually in a situation just like that myself. There's this one girl who is suddenly showing interest in me like no one ever has. I don't have much faith in success but at least I'll try my best.

ANYWAY... I'm confused if he is really interested in me or he is "desperate".

Why would he be "desperate" if he's so hot? Even if he is, he could still be genuinely interested in you.

The guy could be also a jerk

Anybody could be a jerk. That's one of the reasons people date before the get into a relationship.

he could only naturally flirting

Nobody flirts - even naturally - with people they don't like.

[Th4tG1rl]

Why would he be "desperate" if he's so hot? Even if he is, he could still be genuinely interested in you.

.

That's basically the point and it's what its making me confused. I'm not saying he's an Adonis, but he has a very nice figure, so logically, he could have any other girl "hotter" than me. I'm not saying I'm ugly, but I'm not a super model neither. Since I started working there, I never thought that I would ever be with someone that works out there too, ESPECIALLY not this guy. He NEVER crossed my mind. But after He started speaking to me, I found out he is nice and fun... and he likes Arts (like I do). At first I thought he was arrogant and self-centred (but that's a "thing" I caught during the years - people used to put me down).
I already thought many times that I'm the "last choice", because most of my co-workers are either old or married or already have a boyfriend or any other situation similar. I don't want to be the "last choice" or anything like that. If I would ever be with someone, I would like that person to like me for ME and not because he had no other choice.
Or maybe I'm over reacting and thinking too much... Either way, it's weird!

I would like this to work out, I truly like, since now I know him better. But, I dunno... it looks too good to be true :S

Sorry for all my negativism.
It's, just, I'm too insecure and my low-esteem doesn't help neither.

Thanks,
Th4t G1rl

[bulrush]

Ask him out. What have you got to lose? Why can't he be interested in you? Maybe you are cute, I don't know you. Maybe he likes your look or your personality. Maybe he likes shy girls.

You will never know unless you ask him out. Or get him to ask you out, and say "So, when are you going to ask me to dinner?" See what he says. lol.

[Yet another guy]

I already thought many times that I'm the "last choice", because most of my co-workers are either old or married or already have a boyfriend or any other situation similar. I don't want to be the "last choice" or anything like that. If I would ever be with someone, I would like that person to like me for ME and not because he had no other choice.

It's very likely that he has dated people outside of work.

[Tanguerra]

I would proceed with caution. If it 'looks too good to be true' trust your intincts. Sometimes they're a good guide. Be optimistic, but be careful too.

There could be any number of reasons why this guy is flirting with you. It could be that he finds you attractive. As the others say, maybe he likes 'curvy' girls or shy girls. Maybe you're his type. It could also be that he has noticed that you are attracted to him and he finds this flattering. It could be for the oldest and most basic reason in the world why men 'flirt' with women - nothing more, nothing less - he's 'after one thing'.

The main thing to remember is, don't get too carried away in your own head about all this. Just because he's paying you some playful attention does not automatically mean that he has genuine feelings for you or even wants to ask you out. I would just try to keep relaxed about it for the moment. Sure, why not drop a casual hint that maybe he could ask you out and you wouldn't say no. You could talk about a movie that's playing that you would like to see for example and see if he catches the hint. You could talk about a local restaurant that you'd like to go to "Gee, I've heard that place is good, but I've never been...."

If he does ask you out, whatever you do, obviously don't sleep with him on the first date, but take your time and find out a bit more about him and get to know him away from work before you do ANYTHING. Dating people from your work can get tricky if it doesn't work out, so just keep it casual and friendly for the moment until you get to know a bit more about him. If he never asks you out, just stay cool and be 'work friends' with him. You can always just use him for 'flirting practice' even if it never goes any further than that, but again, be careful not to overstep the mark with a work colleague.