Girls, when a guy is nice to you and even helpful to you

[Sour]

do you automatically think he's interested in you?

I think because I was insecure for the longest time of my life, it impacted me so much that today any guy that's nice to me or helpful, i automatically assume he's interested in me.

i feel so shallow and horrible for this and I wanna get past it but don't know how.

[seganomics]

this is something i have struggled with too. I haven't had the nicest friends or significant others so when someone shows me any kindness that's what i think it means too. And then a lot of times I find myself infatuated with them because someone is being nice to me.

really all you can do is remember that basically if a guy is actually into you, he's going to tell you. no need to assume.

[poetrychic]

I am thinking the same thing...my situation was I became so I thought good friends w/a guy at work, but eventually with his compliments I started to have a little crush, sorta like my work husband, and then I got laid off...and I've texted him trying to keep the friendship and he won't text me back?! Makes me so mad. I guess I was just eye candy of interest, but once I was interested he just played a long, then now he acts like I didn't exist!?

But, I think if he was into you, I agree, he would tell you....agree with what seganomics said.

[Devilsbane]

The not replying back could be that he is afraid that by associating with you his job could be in jeopardy, lots of people have that belief.

As a guy, I tend not to make those types of compliments to people out of fear that they will take it the wrong way. I know some guys don't have that same belief and a lot who will just keep talking until somebody answers.

Good to know that girls do enjoy those kinds of things. I just need to find one that I would consider getting involved with. I still probably wouldn't though

[Fairydust]

I totally disagree with some of the above comments that "if a guy likes you he will tell you". Many a time I have liked a guy n thought he liked me back but he never made a move.... so I made the move myself and it has turned out he liked me too and simply didn't hit on me because he thought I was "out of his league" etc. At the end of the day guys are only human too.....believe it or not some of them are shy and scared to make a move....just a thought to keep in mind

[bloodtippedrose]

Guys as in friends or strangers?
When I worked retail and I helped people out (it's my JOB) they would think I liked them! I've been propositioned, given flowers, given numbers, and followed around the store. Someone smiling at you/being friendly does not equal infatuation.

On the other hand I was friends with a group of guys in high school. They would talk about other girls and we'd all be crude and laugh and hang out at burger joints etc. And they'd do nice things for me (occasionally pay for my fries when I didn't have enough, give me a ride home after school etc.) I thought we were all pals until I started dating one of them and the four others admitted to liking me as well and were hurt, but they never had made moves before!

(And just so you know, Im not gorgeous, I don't have a great body, I wore ugly t-shirts all the time and wrong-fitting jeans, NEVER wore makeup, and was a quiet nerd girl, not exactly used to guys jumping at my heels) Now I know, I could have asked any one of my friends out and they would have jumped at the opportunity. So maybe, you're not being crazy. Maybe you're picking up on vibes that these guys really are digging you. But if they're strangers, let them come to you.