frustrated

[confused2207]

Look me and this girl have talked for about a year flirty and finally hung out multiple times back in the summer. Enough so and far enough to where it was obvious there is somethin. We've been thru pretty much. But She has a bf, a long time one that she's not happy with any more.. question me if you want, that's not the point. The point is, is since school started back up we've only seen each other twice and not in a month. But we still would text frequently. Wll monday she was pissed at her bf again b/c he didn answer her calls and went to visit one of his female friends and she says 'I'm just so over that relationship, I don't even care anymore." And so I said what are you gonna about it and she said 'same thing I have been, nothing.' So I basically finally just went off and told her that staying in a relationship is like is living a lie. And a lot of other stuff. Didn hold back. Well she didn text back and I didn really care cuz I told her the truth. Well she text me the next day and said she just wanted to let me know she wasn mad at me for what I said but its her decision. Well that mad me even more mad. B/c I'm not the kinda guy that cares if you're mad if I tell you the truth. So I didn text back. And she has tried to text me all week since and I aint text back cuz in my mind what's the point. So she got drunk last night and text me and text me and said 'basically you hate me becuz I have faith and can't let go' and I just sent back 'I don't hate you' and she says what do you then and I said frustrated and confused, and if you wanna talk about it more call me. She said 'I'm too drunk too and he is here." Which is half the problem. I'm not tryin ta hide anymore. she has flat out lied to him when he asked about me. And b4 you say maybe she was lieinabout me, I asked her 'you're lyin to me or you're lyin to him" and she says you know I'm not lying to you. And that's true. So then today she text me and says so should we talk about it or just let it go. Like everything is fine! And I'm just so frustrated b/c she don't get it. I don't even feel like talkin ta her anymore cuz I'm fed up. I'm not gonna do what we been doin anymore b/c its hardly a relationship when you don't see each other. She just wants to have everything and were not gonna do that anymore. So what do I say without soundin like a dick that says that.

And before you say it, I know someone will say its half my fault for gettin in this situation to begin with. I don't wholeheartedly disagree...

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Next time she contacts you, tell her not to contact you anymore for any reason, other than she has broken up with her b/f and wants to try dating you. Ignore all other contact from her afterward.

[smackie9]

Total friends zone dude. She was never worth the time. Tip: never invest your feelings in someone that isn't your GF. You got dooped, and she used you as her emotional tampon. She acts like a little innocent girl but she needs to grow the F uck up. She is so messed up be glad she's not your GF bc she would only give your grief anyways....it's obvious she rather date jerks, so be it. Don't say anything to her you owe her absolutely nothing. Your only mistake is that you just wasted a year of your life when you could have found yourself a nice GF who wants to be with you and not pondering over an ex BF.

[confused2207]

We haven't talked in a couple weeks after I finally said 'were not on the same page and you just don't understand.'

Well the past three days she has tried to text me... The first time was just tryin to make small talk, last time it was somethin cutesy that was tryin ta get at me emotionally about how when she's at the spot where we used to hang out a lot all she can think about is me. Ignored that too, I mean, it was tough but I did. And now this morning txt and says 'I love how we never talk anymore' where basically she is either mad or upset.

So do I continue to ignore em, or say what I feel like sayin, which is somethin like.... "What? This isn't exactly what you signed up for? I told you that you could lose me and you said that you couldn do anything to make me stay right now. Is it not the same decision you make every night? Did we not talk about it? What part were you not expecting? You didn make the choice between he and I, so one of us had to do the grown up thing and it was me? So what part of this isn't what you expected???"

Or just keep my mouth shut.

[confused2207]

Cuz honestly I have no idea what she wants from me.

[Wakeup]

Just keep ignoring her. Although you allowed her emotional ramblings about how piss poor her boyfriend treats her to get to you so you fell vulnerable to her while trying to fix things for her, there is nothing changed from when you told her to leave you alone. She is still too lacking in self-respect to leave a guy that treats her like crap. Until she grows up, realizes that she deserves someone who treats her well, gains some selfworth and leaves this dude, she will make a lousy partner anyway.

Nothing is changed, its still exactly as it was before and that situation was stealing your joy so just ignore her unless she says "I've broken up with him" in her text.

*Cuz honestly I have no idea what she wants from me.

The emotional attention that she lacks from her boyfriend she was getting from you. She still wants to use you for that. Google "Ladder Theory" and educate yourself.

[smackie9]

You are right she is just not getting it. She thought for sure you would cave in like you did every other time. She is doing her best to mess you up, so you will come back to her because she figures she is all that to you. She's an idiot.

She wants the free non obligated attention that you were so willing to give her before. Block her texts dude, because you are so done with her.

[Wakeup]

BTW: This is what I told you back in August and you're still on about her and her drama. Smackie is right. Delete and block her. She's a hot mess and she's far from being able to maintain the relationship boundaries that one needs to maintain in order to have a healthy and contented physical and Emotional, MONOGAMOUS union with you, her bf or anyone else.

We've been telling you to kick her borderlined personalitied ass to the curb this whole thread so why would you think anything different then you are doing the right thing? This is ending exactly how it normally ends. Its not a surpise.

He gives her something you can't give her... He makes her miserable and that is all she knows and that's all that makes her comfortable. If she does get with you, she will be soon looking for someone behind your back as well because she's addicted to drama.

Good luck in your new job. Forget her and learn a lesson in that you should immediately distance yourself emotionally and physically from any woman who is already taken. you now suffer from your own poor Karma. Sorry dude. Learn the lesson and you'll heal quicker.

Block and delete her she's bad news for you. You're an emotional basket case over her and that keeps you from meeting a good woman who wants all of you and not just to use you for the emotional support she lacks from her asshole boyfriend. Block/delete and you won't be tormented with her emotional abuse any longer.

When you grow up and garner back some of the self-respect and self esteem and self-worth that she's stolen from you, you'll get the strength to oblitherate her from your world. She's stagnating your growth, huge.