Completely frustrated and ready to give up

[thegli]

Nearly four years ago, I met my current girlfriend while we were both at college. We dated for a year and a half at which point she broke up with me for a few months, but we ended up getting back together. I am currently 24 and she is 23. I love her with all my heart and want to marry her one day.

Sometimes, I really begin to question the validity of our relationship. It started on somewhat awkward terms with a major religious difference causing problems from time to time, but that has subsided to some degree. Since our breakup ended and we got back together, even though its been two years, she has never said "I love you" back to me again. I, on the other hand, make a point of telling her that I love her at least once a day. This has really begun to irritate me and make me upset. We talk about the future and marriage and kids, but she will never say the three words I really need to hear.

The more I think about our relationship, though, I begin to wonder if perhaps I am being emotionally abused. I will admit that I am not the PERFECT boyfriend, but I try very hard to do my best. I admit I get jealous sometimes, especially when other guys text her (though I truly feel that some of the things they say to her are inappropriate, such as asking her what she is still doing with me, or asking if they can take her out on dates). I always remember important dates and events that matter to her, I always invite her to do things with me and my friends, and I make it a point to always include her in my life, even if it just means talking to her during the day.

Over the past year, she has been applying to medical school and throughout it, I think I have been very supportive. I have helped her write her admissions essays, have prepped her for interviews by doing practice ones with her, and even driven her to some of her interviews. I'll admit that I am biased and want her to go to a local school, but have helped her in general to get in to any school.

This past week, she got into her (and mine) first choice school. I then sent her a fruit basket in congratulations. This weekend when I saw her, she said, "well I guess it was kind of nice that you sent it." Though she was thanking me, I felt like it was slightly backhanded. This type of comment is similar to the response I get to all types of affection I show her.

I told her while I was visiting her for 4 days this weekend that I felt like I was not getting what I need out of this relationship: namely, an "I love you" back when I say it. She didn't actually answer this question. Today I left her house and when I got home, she accused me of going through her phone because "something was off." I did not even touch her phone this weekend, and when I said that and asked what was off, she kept on telling me to just drop it. I thought that this was all a ploy of her being mad at me for leaving today to spend time with my family before I go away on a business trip, so I apologized and said that I didn't mean to get her upset by leaving and she told me that she didn't care that I left today, but that I obviously don't listen to her when she tells me she's not mad and that its bothering her. Now she won't talk to me and it has me sick.

I really feel like I am being mistreated here, but I don't know if I am off base or not. I feel like I work my butt off to make my girlfriend happy and do anything she could ever ask, but instead of being grateful or happy about it, like it's never enough. I feel like nothing I do will ever be good enough for her, and I don't know why, and know that I won't be able to sleep at all tonight because she won't talk to me, and I don't know why.

This continues on for a while. Whenever I am upset, instead of asking me what is wrong and consoling me like I do for her when she is upset, she asks me "why can't you just be normal." This always just makes things worse, as it seems like she doesn't care that something is bothering me, rather just that she is being inconvenienced by me not acting the way she expects.

Please tell me what to do? I just want her to be happy with me but I always feel like she is upset with me, and it keeps me from being able to eat/sleep/etc. I feel like she is making me more and more insecure every single day.