This back and forth is killing me!!! PLEASE HELP !!

[doublerainbow]

This is about my colleague, same department, same project team, same age as me(40), both of us are single.Around 10 months ago, he started giving me quite obvious signals that he was interested in me; when I realized finally, I got interested in him, too, gradually; as we have similar interests, similar working style, and he seems to be a great guy(I do not have much idea about him outside of work, though). We did not say anything directly to each other,he just conveyed thru his friend,who works with us that he was interested in me,4 months ago. Soon after,just to clarify some work misunderstanding, i spoke with him, and did acknowledged what i heard from his friend and kinda showed my interest, too. after that he completely shut down on me, then left for some out-of country project for 2 months.
I was very shattered and hurting and thought he was an emotionally unavailable man,so thought that upon his return, i will try my best to maintain professional relation with him, nothing beyond.
But, eversince he came back, he is again giving the same signals, this re-kindled my interest in him(i really like him, may be love him). There is a lot of non-verbal communication going on, so much so that we understand each other's moods, if one looks upset, the other tries to cheer him up. But as things start getting more comfortable, he withdraws, so no appartent reason. If I start ignoring him, he looks sooo emotional(as if he would start crying).He is very caring toward me, as goes out of the way to help me out with things(official) and makes sure that i do not come to know about it(another colleague told me, anyway)

I have reached to a conclusion that his interest level in me seems to be VERY HIGH, but may be there is some reason that he is reluctant to go further and even ask me out. I have become very emotional about him,too, I know it sounds crazy,without even have actually dated even once..(BTW, there is no policy in my company against dating colleagues)

But, I am so fed up with this back and forth, that i now want some clarity desperately.
I do not want to initiate conversation with him on this, as my pride comes in the way: he did totally shut down on me the first time i even mentioned about it.
What should i do...do i just start ignoring him and try to move on???
Please help..any guidance/insight will be highly appreciated !

[BackUpOrGetStng]

He likes you, but he's scared.

[bulrush]

Maybe he likes you but he's scared, because he goes on out-of-country projects for 2 months at a time, but being away from the person he likes is very hard on him. It makes things harder for him if he calls the person he likes but can't physically be with them, so he doesn't even call while he's on a trip. Instead he initiates contact again when he returns home.

He sounds like he could be a more emotional person, who falls in love more easily. Or who has an open heart.

[Cerby]

Wow, this is like highschool all over again. "OMG I like him but I can't talk to him cuz I might scare him away, but I'd be hurt if nothing ever happened".

Seriously, you say you don't want to talk to him because of your pride. . .what pride? How would him turning you down affect your pride in any way? Yea, you'd be rejected and maybe a bit hurt, but you're just saying your pride would be hurt as an excuse to simply not act.

If you like him, and he isn't talking to you, you need to grow up and straight up ask him out. Non-verbal communication is like a mute person trying to talk to a blind person through glass. No one really has any idea what the hell is being said, so they just assume.

Put whatever is holding you back aside, and go do it. Take 30 seconds of courage to remove months of doubt.