Posting again about girl I like because she's confusing

[spiritofjosh]

I've thought this girl I met through a friend was cute for a few months now but never pursued anything because I was unsure on what was going on between her and our friend (Rob). Nothing ever happened with them and they were just good friends. Recently a few weeks ago I told Rob that I've thought she was cute all this time and he told her but nothing really happened. About a week later Rob her and I went to a friend's house for his birthday and she told Rob she thinks I'm cute and I should talk to her. I did that night and she wrote me a message on facebook and we exchanged numbers. She would text me morning until night all that week, even starting each conversation. The beginning of this week she stopped texting me as much and I got discouraged. So I manned up and started texting her then she started texting me a lot again and asked if I wanted to hang out over the weekend. I agreed and she kept insisting I don't bail on her. Last night (saturday) my band played a local show she said she was going to but she worked 8-8 that day and was tired but asked if I wanted her to come, I said I did and she still came to the show. She seemed a little shy and our friend Rob was there and her other friends but she payed more attention to me. After the show she texted me awhile saying she thinks I'm cute and that she always has but didn't think I'd think the same. This morning I went to a breast cancer awareness walk/benefit with my mom and when the mentioned girl woke up she texted me asking how it was etc and that she found somebody to cover for her at work and was going to hang out with her girlfriend until I wanted to hang out. I took a nap when I got home and texted her and she asked if I still wanted to hang out, I said yes.

Now where I'm confused, she mentioned Rob was around and offered him to hang out as well. I'm not opposed to this because it at least SEEMS like she's interested in me but why not be ok with hanging out with just us two? Is this a defense a girl puts up when she's shy or nervous to hang out with a boy she likes? Also I'm not even sure if we are hanging out because Rob's meeting with another friend whom doesn't like me. So I told her the situation and she said we had plans and still wanted to hang out but I feel like she wanted to hang out with them too, if not more.

I'm having a hard time understanding the situation, does she like me but is just nervous to see me alone? Or just feels more comfortable to see her good friends so it's easier to hang out with them? Any help from a girl's point of view is much appreciated, thank you.

[smackie9]

How about manning up again and ask her out on an actual date.....hanging out with someone isn't dating, that's what "friends do". Tip: the ladies want a man that is confident, they want a man to take the lead, to take her by the hand, to move in for a kiss, etc.

[spiritofjosh]

You're right, I'm just very pessimistic so I tend to think well if she doesn't seem interested right this second, she never will be and I lose. Of course, this isn't the case and I did end up hanging out but I feel we got to know each other a little better so if and when I do ask her on an actual date it'll go smoother. Actually she acted really nervous, she was smoking a lot of cigarettes and I kept joking about it and asked if she were nervous. She kept giggling when I said it and started mumbling something that she was but changed the subject, so I take it as a good sign. Thank you.

[MerryH]

Now where I'm confused, she mentioned Rob was around and offered him to hang out as well...Is this a defense a girl puts up when she's shy or nervous to hang out with a boy she likes?

Maybe she did this to make you feel less nervous, because you're being a complete weenie about this. She said she thinks you're cute and she texts you all the time and asks you to hang out and shit. How much more of a green light do you need to ask her out on a date already.

Joshie, if you let this slip away because you're too scared and pessimistic to act on it, then you are going to be kicking yourself in the nuts forever. FOREVER. Does that sound fun? No. Ask her out.

[Tanguerra]

The chances are if she's a smart girl she's just 'hanging out' with you for the moment to get to know you better. Smart girls just don't jump straight into a full on relationship until they've got to know someone properly. Presumably she likes what she sees so far or she wouldn't keep contacting you.

Yes, just ask her out and see what happens.

[spiritofjosh]

I know I know, you're all right and I am being ridiculous. It's just finally time that I'm over my ex of 5 years situation that I'm ready to move on but I'm nervous about being off to a rough start. I also just get paranoid that if things do work and I really start to like her that things are going to fall through and then I'll start thinking about my ex again, which unfortunately happens whether I choose to or not. At least this time it won't be so severe. But I felt like I didn't make an ass of myself when I saw her tonight ALSO she knows I don't have the holiest of female partner background number-wise, if you catch my drift and she said she doesn't really care about that. Hopefully that's a good thing...