Why does this guy keep coming in and out of my life????

[rebekah]

I met this guy about 6 years ago and we dated a few times. Everything was great we went out to dinner a few times, the movies, he introduced me to his good friends and I introduced him to mine. Nothing serious and we never slept together. I honestly don't really remember what happened we just kind of stopped talking. I don't think either of us was looking for anything serious at the time at least I wasn't. I didn't hear from him for a few years, I got married, had a baby and divorced. I have a 2 year old now (I'm single). For a few years now he will text or email me every few months to see how I'm doing. We have seen each other maybe twice since we first started dating. He will start texting me every day for a week or 2 and then nothing. Then it starts up a few months later. Why is he doing this??? I don't get it. Now he is saying he just didn't think I was ready for anything serious before and that thinks about me all the time he wants to be with me. I don't understand? I haven't slept with him and Im pretty sure he knows I don't plan on it so its not like he's using me. I haven't even seen him in probably a year and a half. Any thoughts on why he is doing this would be great

[sadie_genie]

He probably just wants attention. I know one guy who does that too. We went out on one date (the chemistry wasn't there so we didn't continue dating) and then every few months, he would initiate contact, flirt, etc and then we would stop talking. Then, it would happen again in a few months. I don't initiate contact with him although I am not rude and I won't give him the cold shoulders if he comes to talk to me. I think guys like that just want attention. That is all.

[bulrush]

I think he calls you up for a while every so often, because he likes you, but I suspect you never indicate (clearly) that you like him. But he keeps trying. If you like him, why not say clearly you two might want to try dating?

[rebekah]

I guess the first few times he was texting me and we went out to eat once and then he would call and text for about a week and then nothing....that happened twice I think. He is someone I could really fall for if we were to continue dating and I didn;t want to get hurt so when he contacted me after that I would just blow him off. I haven't seen him since then and sometimes I don't even respond to his texts. But every month or every few months he always contacts me again...I told him I felt like he was just texting me in between relationships and his response was "thats not true" thats it...I guess I'm not really giving him a chance or believing him because now he's saying he wants to see me and be with me but he hasn't even called me. He just texts. I told him we need to talk on the phone not text about that. and all he said was I agree....If he was really serious wouldn't he call?But then I think I have ignored him for like a year and a half why does he keep coming back? I even changed my number (not because of him) and he messaged me on facebook and said hes been texting me for months and thought I was mad at him! lol! He's a very good looking guy, athletic, very good job, so I don't see why he isn't with someone....I guess he is just playing games???

[Wakeup]

Why don't you ask him out if you'd like him to date you and if he accepts, make sure you don't let him play you because it's obvious he doesn't like you enough to want to get to know you (I suspect he'll certainly accept anything you offered of yourself though) Better yet, just delete him and quit playing his game. You hint, and instead of taking the hint he just screws with your mind by telling you he agrees with you but then never follows through. He's a waste of your time and he plays mind games. Forget him and make it so he can't get through to you anymore. He never asks you out so why bother with him? Do you really want to have anything to do with someone who's too stupid to actually ask you out and would rather play baby-boy games with you instead?

[rebekah]

I have to say I don't really agree with you wakeup. He has asked me out several times. I had just had the baby when he first reconnected with me and wasn't ready to date. Over the the past 2 years he asked me out several times and I have blown him off. He's just started texting me again and I just now feel like I'm ready to date again but don't want to get hurt. I guess when he stopped texting me each time maybe he felt rejected?? I don't know...

[rebekah]

I guess I'm just used to guys being a lot more forward than he is with the things hesays. He will say I want to see you or when can we do dinner.

[Wakeup]

I have to say I don't really agree with you wakeup. He has asked me out several times. I had just had the baby when he first reconnected with me and wasn't ready to date. Over the the past 2 years he asked me out several times and I have blown him off. He's just started texting me again and I just now feel like I'm ready to date again but don't want to get hurt. I guess when he stopped texting me each time maybe he felt rejected?? I don't know...

Funny how you left out that info in your original post. Anyway; Neither of you have a clue what you want. So neither of you progress with one another.

I guess I'm just used to guys being a lot more forward than he is with the things hesays. He will say I want to see you or when can we do dinner.

If he's asking you out to dinner when he does talk to you (btw that's not what you said in your first post either) then why do you think

why he is doing this

Surely you're not that naive?

If you don't want anything to do with him then quit answering his emails. If you would like to go out with him then accept his invitation. If he's not asking you out now because you kept saying no then YOU ask him out this time if you want to see him. .

[gracie8635]

Its simple, because ur allowing him 2. N he knos ur gonna let him. He prob thinks in time ull b what he wants but the truth is, ur not what he's lookin 4 but he's so prob bored or cant b alone so ur his go to until he's finished n distracted by another. Guys like that arent bad individuals, its allowing that type of bhavior that enables that type of bhavior 2 exist. B done wit him mama!