Think I lost the love of my life

[JonBryan]

Alright me and this girl met 4 months ago and started dating, all be honest I was the type of guy that didn't believe in love I screwed around cheated on women slept with way more women than I can keep track of and thought dating was a big joke. Joke was on me so back to it me and her started dating and it was so different natural and perfect in every way we had a great time we never fought and for the first time in my life I felt like I could be myself, it was so refreshing. It's like I spent all of college creating this guy that I was acting as to get what I wanted, perfect grades, any job, running student government etc. but with her I was me and for the first time in my life I fell in love.

Two months in we both go back to our respective schools (Im in grad school she's a junior) and things actually maintained well for just about a month then we had a rough two weeks got into a fight and broke up, we were both beyond busy and stressed and took it out on each other, it was the worst break up I initiated it but regretted it immediately there were tears and borderline depression in the days that followed. Again I have spent all these years as "mr. dating advice" so I took my own advice choose not to try too hard, worked out 2 hours a day nearly doubled my work schedule and I did great at everything but it just felt incomplete to me, I have made the mistake of sending some angry texts to her now and again and I decided two weeks ago to totally break off communication but we talked today and I just realized we had been apart for a month and was just as upset about it as I was the day of and I know she is she started crying on the phone. I tried seeing other people staying as busy as I have ever been but it doesn't matter, I think she's going to get back with her ex boyfriend and every ounce of me just wants to call and tell her how I feel again and ask to end this break but not sure thats smart. We both know how we feel about the other we talked about it constantly and I she's told me she feels the same ... so....

So advise time: We will both be home over Thanksgiving, her and I would be apart a while have summers together but be apart a lot, should I go after it over Thanksgiving (if so any good tactics?), walk away, or try to talk to her before...

[wanderlustboy]

all be honest I was the type of guy that didn't believe in love I screwed around cheated on women slept with way more women than I can keep track of and thought dating was a big joke. Joke was on me so back to it me and her started dating and it was so different natural and perfect in every way we had a great time we never fought and for the first time in my life I felt like I could be myself, it was so refreshing. It's like I spent all of college creating this guy that I was acting as to get what I wanted, perfect grades, any job, running student government etc

In other words, you were cultivating the traits of a sociopath. That's probably as much worth attending to as the issue of your lost relationship.

Alright me and this girl met 4 months ago and started dating,

Probably worth saying that there's almost nothing you can do in four months that will totally alienate someone (unless you have a terminal case of social ineptitude). Whatever happened, it's probably reversible.

Two months in we both go back to our respective schools (Im in grad school she's a junior) and things actually maintained well for just about a month then we had a rough two weeks got into a fight and broke up, we were both beyond busy and stressed and took it out on each other, it was the worst break up I initiated it but regretted it immediately there were tears and borderline depression in the days that followed.

So you met on your summer break, and within a month of going back to school, it was all over. This would usually mean that the relationship could only work under those circumstances. Also, do you go to different universities? If yes, are they more than an hour away? The the answer is again yes, you're would probably be better off finding someone who lives close to you. Long distance relationships rarely work.

I tried seeing other people staying as busy as I have ever been but it doesn't matter, I think she's going to get back with her ex boyfriend and every ounce of me just wants to call and tell her how I feel again and ask to end this break but not sure thats smart. We both know how we feel about the other we talked about it constantly and I she's told me she feels the same ... so....

The no contact strategy is, in my opinion, utterly flawed. It proceeds on the assumption that they will only want you if you're over them. If that's the case, the person is insecure as hell, and probably better off without them. If you undertake no contact seriously, you'll be over them in no time, in which case it's not a strategy to get someone back but a strategy to get over someone.

Whether you should call her; if you have something new to add to the discussion, or she doesn't know your thoughts on this, by all means tell her how you feel. If you've discussed it ad infinitum, then calling would really just be a vaguely churlish.

So advise time: We will both be home over Thanksgiving, her and I would be apart a while have summers together but be apart a lot, should I go after it over Thanksgiving (if so any good tactics?), walk away, or try to talk to her before...

If she really is special, extraordinary, and unique, for goodness sake pursue it