Being dumped from 3,5 years of relationship

[Miss_winter]

I recently being dumped by my 3,5 years partner (living together). We were so great together, rarely fight, and loved each other deeply (or so i thought). We've promised to grow old together and be at each other side no matter what.

Until a month ago. She suddenly called me (I was out of town for a short trip) and told me that she no longer wants the relationship. I was so shock. I never even think that she could do this to us. And prior to that, there was no fighting, no arguing, things were fine. She still kissed me before i left.

When i got back, we talked about it. She said she was having an affair with a married woman. I told her, i'm willing to forgive her and we can start a new chapter. She refused. But i still want to work on the relationship so i still stayed in our apartment. But it was one hell of a roller coaster ride of emotion. One day she was all sweet, the other day she was being cold, distant, and rude. One day i was ready to leave and packed my stuffs. She asked me to unpacked them. So i did.

In one of those nights, we talked again and she said the reason why we're falling apart is because of her inability to communicate. She couldn't say whatever bothers her. And when i asked what are the things that bothered her, her answer was: she doesn't like the dishes piling up, the messy house and all those small stuffs. I mean WTH? Why didn't she just communicate? She said sorry, and told me it was her fault.

And two days ago, she said she's tired of seeing me in the apartment. Of having me around. I was hurt so i decided, this is it. I've been trying for the past 4 weeks, ignoring my self-respect, but this woman is unbelievably cruel. So i called a mover service, packed all my stuff, and now here i am, back to my parents' house.

The minute i got here, i got a text from her. She said she wants her money back (she put down payment for the car and i paid for the installment every month). Whereas a few days ago, she said i could take the car. She is contradicting herself. Every word she said is (now i know) bullshit. Every promises are bullshit.

I feel like she's been treating me like shit. It's unfair. She was the one who can't communicate, she was the one who is having an affair, yet i'm the one who have to face the consequences.

Now, i'm brokenhearted, in debt, and been neglecting my work for the past month. I know i have to move on. She doesn't deserve me. But it still hurts like hell..

Any thoughts?

[kw86]

Wow I'm sorry you have to be going through this. I know what you feel like. You think you know someone and all of a sudden they become someone cruel, something you would have never expected.

You really need to focus on your own healing process. I assume you don't talk to her still, if you do, go no contact, completely! Go out a lot and do everything you can to take your mind of off her. Every single time you think of her in a nice way, tell yourself to STOP and think of all her flaws and what she did to you.

You will start feeling better after a few weeks and eventually you will be completely healed!

Good luck!

[IndiReloaded]

Unfortunately my only advice is to distance yourself from her as quickly as you can. Women tend to break off emotionally from their relationship well before they actually end it.

Many men miss the signs, or even outright warnings, from their girlfriends about issues. Only when its too late (i.e. the girl actually breaks off) do the guys decide to do something. Its usually past the point of no return at that point. Sorry. Better luck next time.

[Miss_winter]

Thank you all for the advice. Yes, i still haven't spoken to her until now and i intend to keep it that way. I've been avoiding all social media and even create a new YM address. It's not that i don't want to delete her off my facebook friends list or block her on twitter, skype etc. I just don't want her to think i want to run away with the car - which of course i won't. Later on, when we settle the issue on the car, i will delete her off my everything.

Being in this forum also help me dealing with my emotional wreck. Reading about other people's broken heart stories make me feel i'm not alone. I'm glad i found this forum.

[Miss_winter]

Thanks

Btw i'm also a woman.