do you look for love or is it best to see if it finds you?

[crazyinlove9999]

just curious what peoples opinions on this are-i am actively looking for a serious relationship not a one night thing and alot of my friends say this is the wrong approach to take because love finds you,but it would bother me more to be single and not even try to find someone to share my life with as opposed to seeing what happens and then wishing i had done something about it.what does everybody else think?

[MynameisJesus]

just curious what peoples opinions on this are-i am actively looking for a serious relationship not a one night thing and alot of my friends say this is the wrong approach to take because love finds you,but it would bother me more to be single and not even try to find someone to share my life with as opposed to seeing what happens and then wishing i had done something about it.what does everybody else think?

Love will find you, but not if you sit behind your laptop all day.
I'd say just keep your options open and then let it come to you.
Join communities, go out, visit places where you are likely to run into someone you like (not the library but not a noisy night club either)
There is no time limit for all this

[bulrush]

Love will find you, but only if you are actively looking for it. So, get on dating websites, go to parties, advertise yourself. It's all about marketing. Describe your best traits, tell people you are single.

You will NEVER find love if you just sit at home all day long. So get off your arse and do something about it.

[Yet another guy]

You don't need to - and shouldn't - be actively suggesting serious relationships to people. But you must be actively looking for dates. At least if you're a guy.

[toshiba]

Every date I went on was due to me trying-my-heart-out. Nothing just "happened". I sent emails on on dating sites, tried to talk to every girl I saw striking up a convo in a store, getting numbers, asking friends if they know single friends.

Letting it "find you" is BS.

I will say I did meet some people in inopportune places like Home Depot (while I appeared fairly dirty, lol).

[throzen]

Love will find you, but not if you sit behind your laptop all day.

Disagree to a high degree. I found the last two girls I was/am seeing through Facebook (the first was seriously into me then didn't decide to go out with me; the other I am currently dating). I added two girls to my friends list who were mutual friends with current friends, spoke to them via private messaging while coming across as charming, friendly and wanting to learn more and I was straight in there. If you choose to do this though, make sure you obviously go for girls who don't appear to be very popular among the men, just makes it easier.

[oldskool83]

ive had it found me and ive found it, in all cases i was happy and thats what gets noticed. a smile can go along way, or just a simple hi. some times you might see someone you went to school with years later, out or on a dating site and that alone can stem up somthing. friends too.

[MynameisJesus]

Disagree to a high degree. I found the last two girls I was/am seeing through Facebook (the first was seriously into me then didn't decide to go out with me; the other I am currently dating). I added two girls to my friends list who were mutual friends with current friends, spoke to them via private messaging while coming across as charming, friendly and wanting to learn more and I was straight in there. If you choose to do this though, make sure you obviously go for girls who don't appear to be very popular among the men, just makes it easier.

I meant sitting behind the laptop as in playing world of warcraft and checking out the stock market.
Facebook and texting are nice to set up dates etc but I hate doing these long conversations online. I find that you should have these conversations face to face if you really want to make an impression.
That's the whole concept of dating and otherwise you'll run ot of thing to say or figure out when you're actually dating.
It always amazes me how some people can fall in love with somebody they haven't met in person.

[searock]

As long as you have a social life which involves meeting new people now and then, love will come just naturally. Dating sites, or even talking to random attractive strangers in hopes of getting into a relationship with them eventually, strike me as sad. On a side note, I'm ok with talking to strangers if you're only trying to get in their pants - that's what attractive strangers are for: casual sex. The fact that it may evolve into a serious relationship later on is irrelevant, and should be irrelevant since the first approach.

The best relationships are the ones that arise from close friendships.

You shouldn't be looking for love just for the sake of it. Love just happens and if it doesn't, it means it's not meant to happen. You can't force yourself, or anybody, to feel anything. It just happens.

[bulrush]

As long as you have a social life which involves meeting new people now and then, love will come just naturally.

Define "now and then". Going to a bar once a month? Or going out once a week? One does have to "get out there" in order to find someone compatible with them. I just prefer online dating, it just works better for me than lots of blind dates or "cold calls" where I don't know the person.