Rough Break up

[DreamingSoul]

To start things off, me and my ex had been together for a year and four months and my ex just decided to end the relationship this past week...and it has been one hell of a week.

We were each other's first love and were very close. We even had crushes on each other since middle school! We did everything together so this whole situation has been totally unexpected from both sides and i've never been more heartbroken over a relationship in my whole life. I honestly feel helpless and don't know how to swallow this.

The reason we broke up was because of me....because I had a jealousy and pouting problem that he couldn't handle at times and so he would start crying and banging his head up against wall because of this. Which sometimes wouldn't help the situation but it was our main problem...he felt like he couldn't hang out with his friends or family without feeling guilty because of my pouting. He said basically, I made him miserable.

Since he said these words I have felt nothing but major guilt and have started hating myself because of this. I ruined this relationship and I just now realized everything i've done wrong and I can't fix it anymore. I ruined my chances and I don't know how to get through this. He meant everything to me and I lost him because of what I did.

Because of how close we were he said he regretted making the decision but he had to do it and he wasn't going to change his mind. He didn't want to flip flop me around and he wanted to be happy. So we both agreed to not see or speak to each other for a long time and block each other off Facebook so we wouldn't get urges to see how the other was doing.

This whole week has felt like a funeral. Even my ex's family started crying over this whole ordeal but nobody has said a thing to him about it, i'm guessing. We were so close and were like the best of friends, it feels so weird not having him by my side anymore and all i'm wondering is if he misses me at all or if he wants to see me at all.

Overall, I would love some advice on how to move on. I can't stop thinking about him and my mistakes to the point I feel like it's ripping me apart. I still hope that he'll come back someday because of our bond but I don't want to get my hopes up and have them shattered for nothing. I do have a job so that helps up until the point I come home, then all I want to do is curl up into a ball and cry. I can't even sleep without dreaming of him anymore.

So please, any advice on how to move on from this would be greatly appreciated.

[workingman78]

Be tough, I know it is hard. The good part is that somewhere out there, there is is someone for you, and he is even greater then what you have experienced so far.