is there something wrong with me?

[parkbom]

I have a good personality, nice, sincere, considerate, funny, and sorta acts like a kid (i just wanna be cheerful and happy), but it seems like i can't get a boyfriend. The bad side of me is that I can be shy, timid, and don't talk a lot. I always seen my friends getting a boyfriend and all, but for me it's hard. I have many guy friends. Could this be the problem? They are treating me like a guy? One of the guy told me that it's ok, she's just like one of us.... Ok I admit, I do act like a guy, but I can be girly at the same time. I like to play video games, talk about cars, and play sports. Many guys have told me that this is a "plus" and are surprised that a girl likes to do those guy stuff. I always wanted to be a guy because it's so fun.



Guys are surprised I am into guy stuff because I am cute and I look pretty girly to them because of my face. I have a kiddyish look. I look like I can pass for a teeny bopper because I look young. I have big eyes and smile alot, but I guess when I tell them I am into guy stuff. They treat me like a guy. Now how am I suppose to act girly? I hate wearing dress and skirts and act all giggly... I been called aggressive too but that is just the playful me which I guess I need to stop. I been only called "cute", but not really pretty. Those who called me probably just says it all the time to all girls. When I go clubbing, I get hit on a lot, but I am not pretty. I am just cute. So is it because i have a cute face, they want to approach me because a hot girl most likely won't dance with them since cute face are easier to approach and are a lot nicer....

I have a friend who acts more like a guy then I do, but I guess she has a little more exotic look then I do. She has a good personality, says whatever is on her mind, and just very open friendly, and outgoing. I on the other hand is shy, timid, and don't talk a lot. Two guys are trying to pursue and its very annoying. I introduced my guy friends to her too....

I guess I been trying too hard and thinking too hard to get a guy's attention, that I forget to be me. I went on couple dates and I've been trying to be myself and talk, laugh, smile, and just be me. It's not easy for me to get out of my comfort zone sometimes, but most of time I try to. I don't have very high self esteem.

Maybe because ever since I was little my mom always been critical and emotionally abusive like saying that I am not pretty as so and so, I am too fat, I am not smart as others, I can't do this or that. She's too controlling and telling me what to do that I can't be independent and have the confidence to do things on my own.

I don't feel like I am independent because of her and I am still immature which is probably why guys want to be my boyfriend because i can't take care of myself.

My friends can find boyfriends so easily, but for me its hard. My parents are always on my case asking me who i am going out with, is that my boyfriend? who is that guy? when are you coming home? why havent you called home. I tell my friends about this and I feel like they think I am not independent. When my guy friend asked me to go over to his place at like 9pm, I told him I can't because of my mom always b!tching and asking me questions and threatening me not to go. I am 25 and just graduated from college and I am looking for a job, so hopefully one day I can move out and get away from her abusiveness.

[Gypsybell]

You need professional counselling to figure out who you are before you can expect any bloke to work it out. That is the most spagetti twirlup I've tried to decipher for some time. Every other sentence is a contradiction and I think you are just having us on. If you are 25 with a college degree then I'l eat my hat! Or you should sue the education department.

[bulrush]

If you are cute and "feminine" but also like to do guy things, I think that is very special. And that is the type of person I'm attracted to.

I don't have very high self esteem.

However, your low self-esteem is a real deal killer. Guys look for this and avoid it like the plague, because usually these girls are very clingy, needy, and whiny. Guys don't want to date a "child" they have to take care of, they want a woman that is independent, who can take care of herself. If you are not any of those things, why do you think you have low self-esteem?

[sweetgirl1989]

Don't let others know you have a low self esteem. I have a low self esteem but I still put myself out there and I try to be outgoing and I act confident even though I am not all the time. Flirt, Let them know you like them. Sometimes if you look like a girly girl but you act like a guy a lot of people might think you are into women and not into men.

[workingman78]

Dear, you sound awesome, I am not sure what is holding you up. I am sure you could use a confidence boost, but all in all I am sure many men would love to have a girl like you. Smart and well thought out, cute, and willing to do guy stuff as well as girl stuff..... Sounds like a winning combination to me

[VA-girl]

Get out of that house. You will never have confidence if you have to live with a person who speaks to you like that. It's difficult to date someone who lives with her parents at that age, because many peope are used to coming and going as they please. You will be so much more confident and mature when you get our own place. Room with friends, just don't stay home any longer than you have to. Get that job and get out on your own. As for the rest, you sound awesome. I'm sure if you have the confidence and self-esteem, any guy will be happy to date you. I hope you didn't tell the guy who asked you out that your Mom will start bitching, etc. That's too much drama to tell someone you just met. Also, I have a rule about a guy asking me to come over to his house at night before we are dating for a little while. He should take you on a real date, and either pick you up or meet you there. That's just my opinion. I would hate to see your low self esteem cause you to be taken advantage of.

[prettygirl]

If you ain't ready to handle that kind of matter better be single. Just live life to the fullest, besides I believe everything has a purpose.