This girl I've liked for a while now, I want her a LOT & yesterday she became single!

[GenuineGuy]

I have NO idea how to balance this because I know when someone splits up with someone the wise thing is NOT to jump in straight away as chances are theirs unresolved issue's with the person she's split with, that could possibly result them being back together ... but at the same time you don't wanna lose out either, so what do you do?

I think theirs been a little something between us in the past, I once went into the bar when she recognised me for the first time (we had mutual friends on Facebook before this & we spoke a lot there) .... when she saw me in the bar on this particular occasion her eye's locked on me intensely ... & quite a bit too, we've since spoke & she often grabs me when she see's me to say hello ... she once told me to put my number in her phone too (at the start of her currently just ended relationship but she never acted on it because the timing of that came in, so probably doesn't have my number now anyway) .... she also was adamant in regards to having a photo taken with me too a bit back ... so their has been some sort of thing to some degree.

I REALLY like this girl ... & I know that jumping in straight away isn't catching her at the right time at the moment ... (she may get back with him for all I know) ... but at the same time I don't wanna lose an opportunity with this girl as I really like her, I can't seem desperate, it's just that I like this girl a lot!

I just clicked a like on her photo to remind her of me, so it's not too much .... & I'm thinking the next time she's out in the bar & I know about it ... to go out regardless & see her in there .... but advice please (& GOOD advice cause I want my chances to be the best here so no silly answers of 'Just jump in' ... cause we know at the time of a split .. it's not right & I don't really know what to make of things).

PLEASE HELP!!!! I don't really know where to turn & usually places such as Yahoo Answers is just teens giving advice thats not usually the best (No offence to them of course as I appreciate any responses), however I'm hoping here I can get some genuine help from girls, it's just a case of balancing things & knowing whats the right thing to do? (I only ask this because I care)

PS They'd been together I'd say around 10 months, so she probably will need to heal but the only time I really see her is in my local bar when we're both in there, all I want is to not worry about being able to have an opportunity with her thats all.

[devonbrown]

Dude, you sound way too desperate. I understand that you like her and all, but finding out when she will be at a bar and making sure you go there to run into her sounds a bit stalkerish and creepy.

You are right about making a move too soon after a breakup, but that isn't exactly about her getting over her ex. It is because you look creepy. Like you were just waiting around for her to be single.

The best advice I could give you is to just live your life normally. If you run into this girl somewhere, fine. If you don't, just give her a call sometime or something like that. Don't focus on her so much. You are right when you say that girls don't like guys who sound desperate. But that is exactly the vibe you are giving off. Not desperate to have someone, but obsessed a little with her.

And while you may not like the advice of "just jump in" asking her out is really the only way to move anything forward. The thing of it is that the more you plan and scheme and overthink things, the worse it will wing up going.

Good luck.

[GenuineGuy]

Yeah I know, I'm not anything like the way you mentioned, in fact if anything I'm the opposite in regards to being independent & being too laid back (this is often why I lose out on things in the past), so this is where my confusion kicks in within these situations.

This is what I mean about needing advice, I mean theirs a lot of guys round this area that will try jump in with her, I know this already (most not even decent guys but just to get something), I don't need this girl for my happiness, I just like this girl & she's someone I want to make an effort with if that makes sense?

I'm just needing advice in regards to not later down the line kicking myself thinking why the fook didn't I do something (again!) .... this is where I have lost out on the past by being too laid back or independent in that sense!

thanks for the response

[GenuineGuy]

Any more insights would be much appreciated, I just want some good advice that's all

[Kaius]

Just give it time...act natural... Be cool.
If it's meant to be, she is not going anywhere. It's not like some dude is gonna sweep her over right in front of you.
If she is attracted to you, she will want to be near you. You don't actually need to do much. Just be nice and understanding.

[GenuineGuy]

Thank you I can only do this if I see her in my local bar though, I guess I'll just have to see what happens eh? it would be nice to finally get a chance with her after all this time.

Thank you to those who have responded, any more insights & responses that are added please know I do appreciate it, I'm not too great in situations with these circumstances.