HELP: don't understand girl was attracted now not

[andwan0]

I am very confused with a girl I met 3 months ago. My head is spinning and it's driving me crazy. Basically it's a girl interested in me, open friendly chats, got close, kiss, then turned to distant, cold, evasive. Long story follows....

First couple of times I met her were at social events (mostly friends birthdays). I remember our first eye contact in a night bar for friend's birthday. She was sitting down, I was practicing C-Walking. I noticed her and she was smiling at me and kept eye contact. I was curious who this new girl was. Moments later I went up to her and introduced myself, exchanged names, etc. (she seem happy) Quick chat then I was dragged off to dance floor by friends.

Next month met her again at different birthday in another night club. As soon as she arrived I immediately got up and chatted to her. She commented on my strong Scottish accent (which I don't really have). Chatted a while (she seem happy) Then asked her for a dance and did my best shy dancing with her.

Next day was Mayors fireworks nights, group event planned by several different friends. She attended. We walked along the river banks. We talked and walked together (she seem happy) Then group dispersed, split into smaller groups. Now here's my first indicator of interest: While I walked off with another male friend in search of good hot dog or hamburger... she asked another friend (who was walking behind) "are those 2 single?". He later told me this and thought it was a sly way of getting info about me.

Next weekend was someone else's birthday in another night club. Here's the second indicator of interest: I was told by a friend that (while she was walking to the night club) she got worried and claimed she saw me running away from the night club with another girl. Anyway, that night we had our first intimate close dancing together. Got her phone number and chatted on the phone a few times later that week.

Third indicator of interest: She had planned to go to some event on Friday evening. I told her am going to cinema. She then said she wanted to join me.

Now judgement day: Her birthday! at another night bar/club. Now everything up to the end of the night was more of less fine. I wasn't sure whether we were an item or not. I am not the sort of guy who shows emotions or jealousy, just keep everything to myself, laid back and try to appear cool and relaxed. She wanted me to arrive early so I can help her take photos of her. I arrived early but she was late and by the time she arrived, other friends starting arriving. For the whole night I was her camera man. She wanted me to help her take photos of her with other friends. She kept on putting her lipstick in my pocket... and occassionaly retrieving it. She got drinks bought for her, drunk a bit (but still alright), and told me she's "drunk". She would take my hand and we go into the crowds in dance floor for more intimate close dancing. Then later we kissed.

Afterwards it seems table have turned. She kepted on saying, "ooh, so many cute guys".. and "I want a photo with all these cute guys" (even total strangers). I did feel jealous when she goes off, attention, spotlight on her, etc. I wasn't being myself that night and felt awkward. I guess she could sense it from me. But I understand that it was her birthday and I let her enjoy herself and do what she wants.

Later that night I offered her a lift home and after that day she avoided me. All the phone calls seem cold and distant. She stopped going out socialising and never see her at social events. Its hard to get a reply from her in any form (text, etc).

What should I do? I come to realise I've fallen for her and feel bad for not being myself on her birthday night.

[andwan0]

Cheers williebooker for your speedy reply.

That's where it gets more complicated. There ARE pictures of me with OTHER girls on FB. Not close, could say looks like friendship photos.... even after the birthday event (since I went traveling on holiday and met new friends).

Who knows. She could be hurt because of the photos... or come to realise that am not attractive anymore coz I was being awkward on her birthday night.

[andwan0]

If the pics were taken after she started ignoring you, it won't make a difference. She was going on about other guys already that night, that's not consistent with a girl that likes you, more like a girl that's game playing or doesn't know what she wants, or a player.

You shouldn't call or text so much afterwards though. I know it's natural to want to call or text even more when you feel like she's turning cold, but you need to do the opposite, appear cool instead of coming off as desperate.

Just letting you know for future reference. I'm afraid in this case however, it's best to move on and find another girl.

I didn't contact her the day after... and the following day I had to go off to far east holiday for 2 weeks! Again, no contact.. but I felt depressed... coz she didn't care about me (like safe journey, etc). Once I got back ... I only call her once a week (to show am not too needy or clingy). ... that's when I feel the cold distant.....

But yeah, very hard to tell what's gonig on... and I need to keep my self busy doing other things. It's driving me nuts thinking about her.

[smackie9]

Ummmm did you ever just ask her out on a date?

[andwan0]

Ummmm did you ever just ask her out on a date?

Not during the pre-birthday. since we both hardly know each other... the attraction isn't sticking... and is fading away... so yes currently am trying to ask her out for coffee or dinner (to get to know one another more... and build trust/comfort), etc... but it's so hard....

anyway, my birthday is coming up... so this is gonna be .... unpredictable..

[smackie9]

You need to be more forward and just get her number and ask her out instead of waiting for events to happen, so I can see why interest has faded...you need to be confident in yourself to attract girls, or you miss out on many opportunities and end up kickin yerself in the ass.