Does she still care or think about me?

[funguyhere2010]

I was with my g/f on & off for 8 years. Things always seemed to go pretty good when I was with her. We were together for awhile then she started asking me to move in with her. I always said I would but never actually did. This is what most of our arguments were about.
I would always go out on the weekend with my friends to bars/clubs or wherever. This made her think I was seeing other women when really I wasn't at all. We got in alot of arguments about this. I realize i was very immature & should have spent alot more time with her then i did.
We would get in arguments then i would leave or we would fight on the phone & we wouldn't talk for days sometimes weeks, even have no contact for a few months but we would always get back together.
After about 2 & a half years she decided I wasn't going to move in & moved 2 hours away. I thought about her but it wasn't that hard on me at the time. We might have talked a couple times a year & i seen her maybe once or twice a year. She was gone for 3 years & then i went up to see her & we were together for about 2 years. I thought things were better then they ever were & she said that too at times. She said she never loved anyone as much as me & really wanted to marry me. I kept putting off moving in with her & made up all kinds of excuses.
We got in many arguments about this & she would tell me on the phone or email me saying she hates me & never wants to see me again & we wouldn't talk for maybe a couple weeks then she would call me or i would call her & we would start seeing each other again. Alot of times she would call me with a private, blocked or unknown number to see if i would answer or text me asking if i called her from a blocked id or somethine & if i did to please stop. She also sometimes would email me telling me if i made up an email address to contact her to cut it out. I didn't do this at all.
In jan or this year things were going good & she woke up 1 morning saying something doesnt seem right & asked to look at my email. I showed her & she seen an email from a girl I used to work with. It just asked how I was doing & how my new job was & everything. She flipped out & thought i was doing something with this girl & we got in a huge fight & i left. 3 weeks went by & i got an email from her saying she doesn't love me, never wants to see me again & that she is seeing someone & for me to move on with my life.
I was very hurt by this but i didn't write back to her or call her. Almost 4 months went by & we started seeing each other this May. I told her I would move in but i just started a new job & wanted to find a job where she lived before I quit. We got in a huge argument & she said I would never ever change & that is the last time I talked to her.
In the past when we have got in arguments she would change her phone number, move, do all kinds of things for me not to contact her then she would contact me. I talked to one of her friends awhile ago & she said sometimes she would put a pic up of her & a guy on her facebook page or write something about a guy on her yahoo messenger profile or other things to try to make me jealous or to get some kind of response out of me.
I was upset so i changed my email address & my phone got disconnected so there really wasn't a way for her to contact me at the time. This was in june & at the beginning of July she text my brother at 3:45 in the morning. My brother & her never talk so i'm not sure why she would text him. I think she must have been drunk but she text him saying she likes her life now & hopefully i will treat my new g/f better. I wasn't seeing anyone but she always thought I was. My brother never text back but told me about it.
I still had no contact with her & on aug 22 she text my brother saying that i will never hurt her & her family again & that i don't know what love is. My brother just wrote back & said please don't text me again.
She told me before that when she's hurt that her pain comes across as anger when she's talking or writing something so it's hard for me sometimes to figure out what she means.
I was talking to a friend of mine last week & he didnt know that we weren't seeing each other anymore. He told me towards the end of Sept that my ex put a pic up of us 2 on her facebook profile. She has like 300 different pics on her facebook page & 1 is with the both of us in it hugging. That's the only pic she has of us. She told me a couple years ago she would put it as her main profile pic when i commit to her & do the right things & move in. I was blocked on her facebook page so i can't see what she writes on there but i can just see the main profile pic. I know she changes her main profile pic every couple of days. I know this is the 1st time she put the pic up of us as her main pic. Why?
I finally turned my phone back on 2 weeks ago & kept the same number I had. Last week i got a call from an unknown number. I'm not saying it was her. It could be anyone. I used to get those calls from credit card companies, telemarketers, etc. They usually keep calling with an unknown number a couple times of day or everyday it was them. It was only once but i really have no idea if it could be her or not. She used to call me with an unknow number or private, blocked id once in awhile.
I really don't know what to think about all of this. I know i really messed up big time. I think i'm finally gorwing up & starting to do the right things in my life. I do want to change & become a better person. I do miss her very much & would do anything to be with her again. This time I would do whatever it takes to make it work but i think i might have had my last chance.
I'm just wondering what people think about this? Is she still thinking about me? Why would she text my brother twice? Why would she put a pic up of us on her facebook page? Could she be the one who called me?
Maybe i'm thinking way too much into this? I was just wondering what people think about this & maybe if they might know what my ex is thinking? Sorry this is long, i just wanted to give you a little background into the relationship.
Thanks

[trinidadtx]

Hi funguy,

I signed up specifically to reply to your post. She sounds a lot like me, and you sound a lot like the guy I'm struggling to get over right now. So, if she is in fact like me, I would have to say yes she cares and misses you very much. Her trying to make you jealous and lashing out with hurtful words are her way of dealing with the pain she's in. May I ask how long it's been since you last spoke to her, and why you don't call her?

I apologize if I'm asking too many questions. It's that guy I mentioned earlier doesn't make contact when we're on bad terms. It's always me. People tell me that there's no way he could stay away if he really cared. I'm confused.

[trinidadtx]

uh oh I just realized I replied in the "ask male" forum.

[bulrush]

Funguyhere,
I think your girlfriend is insecure, and that will destroy almost any relationship. So, it doesn't matter if she thinks about you or not, because it's over. And you can find someone better anyway, than some insecure girl who wants to fight all the time.

[funguyhere2010]

Hi thanks for replying to me. It's been about 4 & a half months since i talked to her last. There has been times in the past where we haven't talked for like 9 months, so i really am not sure what's going on. I know I really do care about her & was very immature about alot of the things I have done in the past. I have tried calling but she doesn't have the same phone number. She used to change her number alot when we would get in a fight & out of the blue she would just call me, sometimes it would take months though. How long has it been since you talked to your ex? If you still care about him maybe you should call him. You never know he might just care about you alot more then you think. I know I would do anything to get her back now. I know she is sick of me telling her i'm going to change & do the right things & it never happens. It just makes me wonder if she still thinks about me after texting my brother twice & putting her pic up on her facebook page of her & i about a month ago & she never did that before. I'm not sure how your ex is but if he's like me then maybe he really does care about you. Maybe his pride or something gets in the way of him calling you. I know everyone is different so you never know. I'm very confused too. If i can help you out in any way please let me know

[trinidadtx]

Thank you. It's been almost 5 months since we've talked. Well, he changed his number. You're gf over reacts and I'm the same way. I've changed my number several times, and have done the same things your gf has done to try and get a reaction. Like her, I also end up calling. It's childish I know, and I'm really working on it. At the time though, I'm so hurt by his actions I act out impulsively.

People tell me that if he really wanted me he'd do what he has to to find me. Maybe that's the same advice people are giving your gf?

[funguyhere2010]

Yes i'm sure they are giving her the same advice. I know all she does is tell them bad things about me. How long were you with him? Once i made a facebook page & wrote something about her & she found it & that's how we started talking again. Do you think I should do something like that again? Yes, she used to say some very mean & hurtful things when she was mad at me, like name calling & stuff like that. I know she has wanted me to change & do the right things for along time & i think she is just fed up & think I will never change after not doing yet. I do want to do the right things now though, if i can

[trinidadtx]

This is so funny! He just made contact with me day before yesterday. I made a fb, and he contacted me! You should do it! A few months, but we were together 4 years several years ago. Open a fb account!

[trinidadtx]

I got excited and replied to quickly. I've told my friends and family a lot of the bad things about him also. When I do it, it's because I'm trying to make him feel guilty. I would tell him when I said those things, and would do it on purpose to make him mad or feel bad. I'm not saying it's ok, or justified. I don't want to do that ever again. It's just that he seems to let me walk away so easily. I don't understand how he can say he cares, but let me go for so long. Hopefully, he'll want to reconcile the way I do.

[funguyhere2010]

That's great. Hopegully everything works out this time for you. I should do it but i don't even know what to write?? She will probably think i'm just saying this stuff but really don't mean it. I really do mean it this time. I just hope it's not too late. It sounds like he's alot like me & your alot like her, haha. If he didn't want you back he wouldn't have wrote to you. Are there things you keep him from? Like his friends or doing things he likes that you really don't approve of?

[trinidadtx]

Well, I don't like him going to strip clubs and he would go quite a bit. That's probably not what you're talking about though is it(-: Other then that, nothing off the top of my head. I bet it would mean a lot just to get a "hello" from you. Many times I would just imagine him already having another girlfriend, and over me.

[funguyhere2010]

Hi how are things going? I used to go out to the bars all the time and I know that hurt here because I put my friends before her. I just don't know what to write on my facebook page? Do I write something short or write something long that is heartfelt? I don't think she would even believe what I have to say because I've said so many things in the past and it turned out to be all talk. I really do want to do the right things this time. She thinks I have strung her along for so long and I've hurt her and her family. I see she did put up something on her profile last week. It was a pic or I guess a saying which read your ex says you will never find someone like me and at the bottom it sad that's the point. I know tat isn't good but just her putting that up, isn't she thinking about me even if its negative? I found at the beginning of oct she told a friend of hers that she thought she was doing something with me but I never have. I've met this person twice for like 10 minutes each time. There is a lot more to my story but I don't want to put it all in public for people to see. It just sounds like you are a lot like her. I know she is very upset and hurt at all the things that have happened. After putting that on her profile and thinking her friend did something with me do u think she still thinks about me or care about me? She has given me so many chances and I always blew it. Does she maybe think ill never change? I just wonder if she thinks of me at all? This is very hard for me right now. How are things going with your ex now that you had contact?

Well, I don't like him going to strip clubs and he would go quite a bit. That's probably not what you're talking about though is it(-: Other then that, nothing off the top of my head. I bet it would mean a lot just to get a "hello" from you. Many times I would just imagine him already having another girlfriend, and over me.

[Hayden10]

I know that you came here to vent your feelings and that you are probably still very hurt but, you guys played hte on and of game for eight years, so maybe you should try to move on and find someone else? It's not very healthy to be on and off again for such a long time. Maybe you learned your lessons, grew up, and now its time to move on.

[trinidadtx]

We haven't had a "talk" or anything, so hopefully soon. You can private message me if you want. Anyway, yes she's thinking of you! It's funny, because her writing those msgs on facebook seem so childish to me but I do the EXACT same thing. I can't help myself! How did you hurt her family? If you don't mind me asking.

[funguyhere2010]

I tried to send you a private message but it says I have to have 15 posts before i can do that so hopefully soon i can. I hurt her kids in the past by telling her I would be there to do things with them & would go out with my friends or do other things. I have never yelled at them or hit them or anything in the past. I know she is on dating websites & that does hurt me but i also know she was on them when we were seeing each other. She said once i commit to her that she would get off of them. I think maybe she is just looking for someone, incase we don't workout & wants someone to make her happy. I know in the past her friends have said she has gone out on a few dates with guys but nothing ever came of it. She has been on & off of those for years. Especially when we are apart. It's really bothering me now for some reason though.I know I have hurt her so bad & me not changing after all these years she probably thinks i never will. I have no idea if she's actually seeing anyone but i really wonder if she does think about me. She told me before she never loved anyone as much as me. Things just got worse with us over time. I know they can be fixed though. I know you say she still thinks about me. I sure hope so. Like i said she said something to her friend at the beginning of last month about her maybe doing something with me. I guess that is the 2nd time she said that. I guess they are no longer friends. Does she still think about me even if she is on dating sites? If so why is she on there? Just to see what else is out there or am i way off track? haha. How are things going? Have you seen your ex yet or just sent messages back & forth thru the comp or have you had talks on the phone? Just take things slow is my opinion.