Friends/Dating/FWB/What do I do?

[darkhorse]

Hi guys,
I'm new to this forum. I just wanted to get opinions on this relationship I am in. It's not really been an issue for me until the last couple of days. I will explain why, it might be long.... I really appreciate feedback though.

Over a year ago I met an older man. I was attracted from the very moment I saw him, thought I had no chance with him. Well, he was attracted straight away as well. It took about two months of talking and flirting until he made a move. That was August last year. I didn't want a relationship (and didn't know him well) at the time, but we did discuss that. He is divorced with a kid, and said he was done with relationships for now.

Time moves forward, and we become friends with benefits. Sometimes we see eachother three days in a row, sometimes we don't see eachother for two weeks, sometimes we go on holidays together, sometimes we just hang out as friends and have a great time and there is nothing romantic or sexual about it. We just get along so well. Everything has been perfect as far as "relationships" go. All the while, he tells me not to date, I'm too young, etc. He never tells me any of his feelings, but I like him for this, as it has been the most breezy, uncomplicated, FUN, effortless relationship I've ever had.

So about a month ago, I finally start to fall for him. I think this is because he warms up to me even more. He starts contacting me more, we talk every day, he calls me baby, he looks after me when I am sick... He is a great friend and obviously likes me a lot.

What now? Well the other day, he tells me his ex-wife broke up with her partner, and she has to live with him for awhile until she finds soemwhere else. That, and he is now full-time dad instead of part-time.
This sort of shook me a bit, and I told myself that this 'relationship' has now run it's course and it's time to just start seeing him as a friend.
Well, that lasted a day. The next day he wants to go out and he stays at my house. The day after that we go on a date. All this time I feel he doesn't want "me" but he wants "somebody" and we are just comfortable I guess.

So I do have feelings for him, however I don't want a relationship. Do I just keep doing what I'm doing? I'm happy, but a bit confused sometimes about it. I enjoy my time with him a lot and wouldn't like to lose him.

Should I just phase out? I mean, I will be heartbroken, but I'll get over it like anything else.

I just want to know what YOU would do, and your opinions. Thanks.

By the way, this is the first time I have ever felt any feelings for anyone, since my first ever relationship which ended two years ago.

[Wakeup]

Instead of deciding his feelings and expections for him, why don't you talk to him about things and see where he's at? Why make a decision based on guessing and speculation? If you have feelings for him and don't want a relationship then it certainly looks like you're getting your wish by being with someone you like who isn't pinning you down in any way.

In actuality, You don't know what the bejeeezus you want. Read your post back as if you didn't write it and you're a mess of contradictions. Figure out what you really want and if what you have with him now is what you want then whats your beef. If you want a commitment from him then speak to him about his intentions and expectations (if any) and make your decision to stay or leave based on whether or not it coincides with what you want.

You need to know what you actually want first though.

[Marioneta]

I agree with Wakeup.

But you say that you don't want a relationship, so if you really mean that, then it shouldn't be any problem for him to do whatever he likes with his ex. On the other hand, you say you have feelings for him. Well, guess what. Feelings and "FWB" is like throwing oil in fire.