How to approach this.

[imissbarcelona]

So, my ex broke up with me a couple months ago because I was depressed and stressed out and emotionally distant. And it was her busy season with work..... she works 7 days a week 14 hours a day for a 3 month stretch, we had been together for about 9 months straight, all day every day. Honestly we needed space for the both of us to find ourselves and think about what we needed for ourselves, we really never even dated, just kind of fell in love and ran off together.... After being broken up for a couple months, during which she tried to help me and talk to me and make sure I was okay and maybe see me once a week when she had time, now shes started getting a hold of me more often...... still not hanging out again, but calls me a couple times a week and even hinted that we should hang out soon..... I know, I can't go in guns blazing and tell her I love her madly and want her back and all that...... I think we need to go slow... get coffee, go on dates etc..... and see where it goes from there, kind of try to build up trust and bond again.....

Just how fast can I move, what kind of things do I need to tell her, how in depth should I be. Like when she ask, "how are you doing?" I shouldn't say, things like "I miss you so much I love you and I want you in my arms again." but what should I say? things like " I'm doing great, I'm feeling a lot better and settling into this new town quite well"?

I want to give her my heart and tell her I've gotten over my problems and I want her back..... but from what I read that might push her back away, I'm just confused on what to do and how patient i should be..... do I buy her a gift? or do I wait til we've hung out a few times? Do I take her out for drinks and hang out to talk or would that look like I'm trying to hard to get her drunk and sleep with me? Is dinner too much? Should I just stick to like coffee and a walk, or maybe see if she wants to go for a bike ride or something?

How casual should I be? How serious should I be? How open about emotions should I get? Someone told me to just take it easy and answer how I would anyone else which will be hard because she isn't just someone else.....

I need a little help with the process of attempting to get her to take me back, I don't think shes over me, Im pretty sure she still misses me and will get back together, but with my emotions I'm afraid I'll get carried away and try to move to fast.

[persina]

u worry too much... just be yourself. but since u asked for advice, heres my opinion. go have some coffee with her, then ask her out on a date for the week after. take her to a nice restaurant, tell her how good u are doing, that uve gotten over your problems and so on. then tell her u miss her and that u wish u could see her more often. just see how she reacts to that... then go from there.

The best feelings are those that
Have no words to describe them....
~ by Michelle Hammersley ~