why would he break up with me

[Tavvy]

He told me he loved me, he said he cared about me, he said he wanted to have a future with me (marriage, kids, grow old), he said he was going to buy me a promise ring for Christmas. Why would he hurt me so bad?

I had been living with him for a few months in his mother's trailer. There were too many people living there and we had to sleep in the living room. I started to get moody and cranky because I could hardly get any sleep and never any privacy. So I told him I wanted to leave a few times and go home, then finally I had it and asked "Why are you keeping me here?" very calmly, and he said "No one is. I don't even want to be with you. Go the f&*k home. I'm tired of your attitude." He packed all my stuff before I could and sent me home.

He texted me this morning saying "Oh I know why you want to go home, you want to screw someone else. Go ahead, I'll have fun too." Obviously he doesn't trust me at all. That's probably why he didn't want me leaving. Before I left last night he told me was just going to go back to his old ways and mess with other girls.

Did he never really love me or care about me? Was he just lying to himself and me?

I just want to feel better and stop crying. How can I start feeling better? I don't want to even leave my room because I hate crying in front of people. And if he asks for me back because he usually does, how can I say no?

[Fru]

Say no because if you don't, he'll hurt you again! Sounds like he really is going back to his old ways. You don't want to be with someone you can't trust and who doesn't care about your feelings.

You also don't want to be with someone who lives in his mom's trailer, right? I mean, I completely understand that you wouldn't want to live there with loads of other people. It sounds like a weird situation.

Be strong and say no! You can do it, and it will be better in the end if you do. Stand tall and stand up for yourself.

[HeartIsAching]

He told me he loved me, he said he cared about me, he said he wanted to have a future with me (marriage, kids, grow old), he said he was going to buy me a promise ring for Christmas. Why would he hurt me so bad?

I had been living with him for a few months in his mother's trailer. There were too many people living there and we had to sleep in the living room. I started to get moody and cranky because I could hardly get any sleep and never any privacy. So I told him I wanted to leave a few times and go home, then finally I had it and asked "Why are you keeping me here?" very calmly, and he said "No one is. I don't even want to be with you. Go the f&*k home. I'm tired of your attitude." He packed all my stuff before I could and sent me home.

He texted me this morning saying "Oh I know why you want to go home, you want to screw someone else. Go ahead, I'll have fun too." Obviously he doesn't trust me at all. That's probably why he didn't want me leaving. Before I left last night he told me was just going to go back to his old ways and mess with other girls.

Did he never really love me or care about me? Was he just lying to himself and me?

I just want to feel better and stop crying. How can I start feeling better? I don't want to even leave my room because I hate crying in front of people. And if he asks for me back because he usually does, how can I say no?

I see a few things here, some that are possibilities, and some that are definites:

Before I start, you should know that some of this will be hard to hear, but you should know that it's not all your fault, not even mostly.

Either you meant it when you told him that you wanted to leave, or you were playing a game and trying to make him do something without actually communicating with him. If you really wanted to leave, you could've just left. If you were playing a game, well... you should've communicated instead of using a trick that was bound to lead to confrontation.

Ok so that's out of the way.

His reaction - when you said what you did, he felt attacked. He attacked back - he retaliated. His aim was to hurt you back for the hurt that he perceived he'd been dealt by you. Even worse than not communicating, he struck. The shit with the "You want to screw someone else" was more manipulative, controlling bullshit. He tried to make it your fault, both in his head AND in your head. He wants you thinking you did it, so that if he decides to "forgive" you, you'll come back. I wouldn't. I'd run far, far away if I were you.

Now for some more that's going to be hard to hear.

He didn't love you. He felt things for you, but they were things like ownership and control, not love.

Walk away and don't look back, you've learned a lesson.