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Thread: Rough Sex and "mommy issues"... Please help

  1. #1
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    Rough Sex and "mommy issues"... Please help

    My sex partner likes to have very rough sex... I don't mind it, but I find it peculiar. He likes to pull my har, spank me, inflict pain, gag me... I feel like he likes to hear me yelp when he thrusts too hard. He loves anal too. Nothing romantic at all and I feel like he gets angry.

    The thing that weirds me out is how after the act, he cuddles up to me like a little baby... He becomes really soft, gentle and almost childlike. He clings to me then lays his head on me as a baby would his mother. It seems like he wants me to hold him.

    Maybe I am overthinking this, but I find it strange. Could he possibly have some mommy issues there? Whenever he mentions his family he seems uncomfortable. He was raised in a small town and very religious, quite a few siblings as well.

    Any thoughts, opinions, or answers would be much appreciated!

  2. #2
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    have you suggested taking it easy for a change?

    edited to add- you shouldn't be doing anything you're not comfortable with. If you are, take a serious look at your relationship.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by stuckies View Post
    have you suggested taking it easy for a change?

    edited to add- you shouldn't be doing anything you're not comfortable with. If you are, take a serious look at your relationship.
    Not really. I usually like it, but last time I wasn't really into it... He didn't want to slow down,.

  4. #4
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    I'm totally fine with it. I will not do anything I don't wan't to, hower I am trying to figure out why he is the way he is and if anyone else had had a similar experience to mine.

  5. #5
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    Take him to an SnM club. Get them to beat it out of him.

  6. #6
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    Yeah , classic psychopathic mummies boy here. Obviously got took off his mothers tit too early.
    Kick his balls.

  7. #7
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    that would freak me the **** out.
    baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.


  8. #8
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    This doesn't have to mean he has mommy issues or is a sociopath. He may be very sexually experienced and needs something new to get his freak on. I'm in my 40s, pretty experienced, and trying a similar thing (though I don't hurt people). And yes, afterwards I'm very gentle and loving and cuddly. I'm loving afterwards because me and my gf shared an adventure, it's not just about sex. It's about sharing something new together, pushing boundaries, investigating taboo, and power shifts.

    The issue is, I'm just bored and need something new and taboo. Because taboo is exciting. But yes, he sounds like a dominant person who likes BDSM: tying people up and hurting them to some degree. There are submissives who like to be tied up and hurt. It really floats their boat. So when these 2 types of people pair up, it's a real show. As always, safety first, and have a safe word. There are very loving and devoted couples who get into some really kinky stuff, involving 50 needles, cutting, and things like that. But the recipient willingly does it because they like it. Some people are wired to feel a type of high when they feel pain.

    PM me if you have a specific question for me.
    Last edited by bulrush; 24-11-11 at 09:11 PM.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by bulrush View Post
    This doesn't have to mean he has mommy issues or is a sociopath. He may be very sexually experienced and needs something new to get his freak on. I'm in my 40s, pretty experienced, and trying a similar thing. And yes, afterwards I'm very gentle and loving and cuddly. I'm loving afterwards because me and my gf shared an adventure, it's not just about sex. It's about sharing something new together, pushing boundaries, investigating taboo, and power shifts.

    The issue is, I'm just bored and need something new and taboo. Because taboo is exciting. But yes, he sounds like a dominant person who likes BDSM: tying people up and hurting them to some degree. There are submissives who like to be tied up and hurt. It really floats their boat. So when these 2 types of people pair up, it's a real show. As always, safety first, and have a safe word. There are very loving and devoted couples who get into some really kinky stuff, involving 50 needles, cutting, and things like that. But the recipient willingly does it because they like it. Some people are wired to feel a type of high when they feel pain.

    PM me if you have a specific question for me.
    Dont pm this charlatan, he says he has 29 spare pocket knives, and when you ask him for one of those bad boys, he just ignores you. Total fraud of a salesman, no wonder his knife selling business went west.

  10. #10
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    This guy may or may not have some unresolved issues, the question is "have you asked him?" I would think that if he is a caring partner, he should be willing to talk and discuss these things with you.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by bulrush View Post
    This doesn't have to mean he has mommy issues or is a sociopath. He may be very sexually experienced and needs something new to get his freak on. I'm in my 40s, pretty experienced, and trying a similar thing. And yes, afterwards I'm very gentle and loving and cuddly. I'm loving afterwards because me and my gf shared an adventure, it's not just about sex. It's about sharing something new together, pushing boundaries, investigating taboo, and power shifts.

    The issue is, I'm just bored and need something new and taboo. Because taboo is exciting. But yes, he sounds like a dominant person who likes BDSM: tying people up and hurting them to some degree. There are submissives who like to be tied up and hurt. It really floats their boat. So when these 2 types of people pair up, it's a real show. As always, safety first, and have a safe word. There are very loving and devoted couples who get into some really kinky stuff, involving 50 needles, cutting, and things like that. But the recipient willingly does it because they like it. Some people are wired to feel a type of high when they feel pain.

    PM me if you have a specific question for me.
    He's actually quite young... almost 6 years younger than me. He's 22.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by workingman78 View Post
    This guy may or may not have some unresolved issues, the question is "have you asked him?" I would think that if he is a caring partner, he should be willing to talk and discuss these things with you.
    Whenever he mentions his family or comes back from a visit, he seems disturbed or sad. I don't want to be intrusive. I feel like he will tell me if he wants to..

  13. #13
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    The weirdest thing.... all of the women I have ever dated had large natural breasts. So my ex-wife thought I had a mommy fetish because I enjoyed sucking on big boobs.
    Obviously that's not the case.... I like big natural boobs because they look awesome and feel/taste wonderful. The cleavage area smells absolutely divine.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaius View Post
    The weirdest thing.... all of the women I have ever dated had large natural breasts. So my ex-wife thought I had a mommy fetish because I enjoyed sucking on big boobs.
    Obviously that's not the case.... I like big natural boobs because they look awesome and feel/taste wonderful. The cleavage area smells absolutely divine.
    Another noob that got took off his mothers tit too soon. Its a scientific fact , that men who like big boobs, were denied it as a baby. As for the smell of a birds cleavage, its called perfume or sweat , deviant.

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