So I posted in love advice forum and apparently the only poster was right...

I controlled my ex-girlfriend and was jealous... in the past week its been going like this ( since monday november 7)... She breaks up, i cry to her to give me a last chance she says no. I then threaten of "walking into the darkness" just to get a reaction from her. THen after that we talked like adults and she made out with me saying " I'll think about us". She asks me to then leave for the day which I do and when she sees me at work she tells me she kissed another guy BUT she was thinking of me.

After that, that night we have sex and she tells me she loves me and misses us. I then tell her the truth of a lie i told her for a year and seven month ( not that big of a lie...) and she's mad cause I lied to her. This is completely understandable but if I would have kept the lie a lie I would be with her right now... I just came clean to show her we could build something on trust.

THe next evening she goes to her parents for the night saying she loves me and all but needs to think. She asks me to come the next day and says she missed me and all.... Then she says she needs a break. So I understand and we go back to our place then to work. The next day she says she wants to be single for a LONG while. So we go home and I talk with her saying that I can't be friend with her after all because I will always have feelings for her... I lost my virginity to her, I was with her all along, we almost had a kid... I mean A LOT of stuff and seeing her with another guy would crush me.

She gets mad and leaves the room and jsut starts laughing with her friend while im crying. So I go to my friend for the night. The next night im still at my friend and she tells me while we're on the phone " I'll never take you back again" and then says "OH I see us together in the future, kids, marriage, etc...." and to me its good sign... she was crying over the phone how much she doesn't want to see me with another girl and misses me

The next day i go see her, and we cuddle and she says " I love you so much" and she still doesn't mind getting naked in front of me. After a while she asks for a backrub, I make dinner for her, we watch tv and she grabs my hand.

The next day she gets mad cause I still ask her about all what happened. ( that was monday this week) and we go to work together and we had a meeting there, and she wore heels and all. When we left to walk to the meeting place she was holding my hand............ and when we left work I was goanna go to my parents to give her space but she asked me to come over cause she was scared of walking there alone. It was raining and her foot hurt so I carried her all the way. There she asks me to stay the night....

Now tuesday ( yesterday) she tells me to go to my mom as she needs space (AGAIN!) and when im at my mom, I had that bad gut feeling so I called her and she said her friend told her we were better off without each other. She tells me to give her a week to think WITHOUT talking to her. I was suppose to go pick up my hockey equipment so I made her a little scrapbook thing I always promise I would do for her. So i took a red piece of carton, a white piece of paper and cutted the last one into the shape of a heart, I made a hole and drew a key and stuck it in. I then said you hold the key to my heart and if yo uwant to stay with me keep the heart or rip it in half and give it to me. I also putted our pictures on there and all.... So I leave after cleaning the appartment. I go to hockey which was HORRIBLE because she came see me all the time before....

I come back and check facebook and I see her status: Im not going to stress over you anymore. It isnt worth it. I tried to work something out, but you just ignored it. Im not trying to say I dont want you, because I definitely do. All Im saying is Im done chasing after you.

SHe then answers to her friend and says that tis the same problem but has finally moved on. She deleted our pictures except for 3. She always said she would never do that. This morning I spoke to her friend ( another one ) and that friend said that CAitlin ( my ex) said she didn't love me (yesterday). However, two days ago in the metro she said "My teacher said to never let go of a person you love when you found him/her. And I almost cried thinking of you"

To me it was an indication she still loved me.

I'm wondering now, do I just leave my job? Do I get over her and forget her forever, delete her off facebook? Give everything back to her? she said if I did that she would NEVER speak to me again.

I'm lost in what to do. Im scared if I cute all the bridges she'll hate me forever and I will never stand a cjhance. On the other hand I don't just want to stay friend forever because I will always have feelings for her and if she goes with another guy I will just be hurt even more!