Chance of getting back together? Opinions please

[LindaXO]

I have recently went through a breakup over a week ago. I am very much still in love with him. We have been together for 3 1/2months. I'm only 21 and he's 22.

The thing is that when we started dating life was good. But right after we started he lost his house due to a flood, lost his job, could not return to school because he couldn't pay it. And started having family issues. And he decided to join the military so we would have a future.

From the start he told me that he wanted a long term relationship something that would last longer than a few months. He would always say the sweetest things about how we were perfect for each other and how he wanted to join the military to support our future. He even asked me before he joined if I would support him and he asked if I would go with him to his base when he got settled. He would probably be traveling a lot. Just the little things he did to show me his love tells me he loves me. He would drive a little over an hour to see me 1-3 times a week. He would also text me worried if I didn't text him back at night because I usually would. He also would make it a mission to talk to my dad because he said he wanted my family to like him. He would start conversations with my whole family actually.

Of course I showed him the same in return. When he went through all those issues I was there for him. I just think these issues have been building up over the last 3 months and he just lost it. He can't fix these things within that time period.

It was weird because 4 days before he broke up with me he was telling me that he wishes he could spend every day with me and that I'm all he ever needed in life. He said he wanted to give me the best future. He basically said that I'm what he has waited for in life. And he couldn't wait to spend the rest of our lives together.

I'm figuring he snapped and realized he needs to get his life together before promising me what he was.

The last thing he said to me was "I can't be in a relationship right now. It's a choice i need to make to clear my head from everything thats going on if i decide that I'm ready for a relationship again I will do what I have to do to prove myself to you but just can't right now."
I do beleive him I just think that he has to fix himself and his life before bringing someone he cares about into it. He is not whole right now. Our relationship is just bad timing. I'm just worried that he won't come back to me. Because I know people say couples break up for a reason but sometimes it's just what needs to be done. I know couples who get back together, I'm just worried we won't. I guess it's all going to take time.

I just keep telling myself that if he really does feel love towards me than he will have a hard time parting. I know what he's going through because he had an emotional breakdown before so I guess it's just escalated this time.

How long does it usually take a guy to contact his ex if he wants her back? I know theres not a definite answer. This is just from experience or your opinion.

I appreciate anyone who reads this. I am so heartbroken and don't know what to do. The only thing I can do is wait for him to realize that he really loves me and is ready to have me back if that's what he decides. I just want some opinions on us getting back together. Thank you!

[smackie9]

up to 3 months.....then after that you need to move on.

[LindaXO]

Thanks smackie, I was thinking something along the lines of that.

[smackie9]

Being together for 3 1/2 isn't enough to substantiate "forever". Forever is only in fairytales. You are in the honeymoon stage of a relationship, where you are infatuated with each other. You will talk of marriage, kids blah blah blah....but that is not to be taken as promises, it's just talk......it just feels good at the time, but doesn't hold any grounds for it to really happen.....things can change.

So with all this bad stuff that has happened to him.....he finds it to be connected with you in some way. Sadly it has made him push you out with it. It's obvious he isn't ready for a committed relationship that will lead to marriage.....he is only 22 and has at lease another 6 or 8 years of single life ahead of him before he will be ready to settle down. You are right, it's just bad timing. So really there are no definitive answers for you......it's up to you to wait or not, just don't wait too long.

[LindaXO]

Yeah I know =/ I keep trying to look at it that way.

I never looked at him connecting me with all the bad things but that makes sense. That's quite interesting. Time will tell. I just hate waiting games but I guess I'll just have to occupy my time with enjoying life. Thanks again.

[smackie9]

Good luck, I hope you find happiness again.